Loving him is so wrong!

Chapter twenty-four

Alana
After Monica left I was hurt shit I'm fucking broken and Chandler is the cause of it all. I can't shake him he's like my crack and I'm a feening for him badly. I wanted to tell Monica about what happened two days ago but what good would that seriously done for me. A clean conscious sure but just more drama for me as well. Ever since that night I can't get it off my mind. Every time I move I feel him I hear his name I go back to when I was screaming his name. It's bad my mind is just stuck on stupid right now. And the sad thing is he was right about Terrence and me. Don't get me wrong that man is the man of my dreams but I moved to quickly. I haven't called him to tell him we should take it slow he has a son two years older than me. Yeah he has a 21 year old son. I remembered the day I went to meet them.
I was getting dressed when all of the sudden Terrence called me on FaceTime.
"Hey baby." I smiled into the phone
"Hey mamas. How are you?" Terrence asked into the phone.
"I'm tired but I'm okay. How are you? Are you almost here?"
"Yeah are you nervous? Meeting my kids is a big step considering it's only been a month since we made it official."
"Yeah I'm nervous but excited I hope they like me." I said changing my shirt for the fifteenth time.
"I'm about five minutes away so be ready woman!"
"I am ready you hurry up" i said laughing into the phone before hanging up.
Five minutes have passed and Terrence was right on time and outside waiting for me. I rushed out and he stood next to his car waiting to open my door for me.
"Mmmmm babe you smell so good" he said holding me tightly and then rubbing my belly.
"Thank you. You looking good sexy." I said right before I kissed him.
We got into the car and we drove to his house. I was so nervous that I was shaking. Shit get it together girl they are just kids. We got out and we walked into the house. I saw all four of his kids sitting there either on their phones or just chilling watching tv.
"Y'all this is Alana,baby this is Tj, Major,Zayn,and Carter" Terrence said to me.
They all looked up and just stared at me. I don't know why they were staring but I wished they wasn't. Oh boy you really dating someone with four kids. Hmmp Chandler is about to have four kids. Tj got up and walked towards me. He was tall about the same height as Terrence and he looks old. And he is fine. Stop it Alana.
"Dad how old is she?" Tj said looking me up and down.
"I am 19" I said looking at him.
"Dad are you serious she's fucking two years younger than me. That's disgusting on some R.Kelly shit" Tj said storming off. Terrence followed behind him I guess to talk to him about what he said to me.
Wait he's 21 then how old was he when he had him since Terrence is only 36 years old. I'll ask about that later. I stood there awkwardly as the other three boys just smiled at me.
"Sup ma I'm Major and I'm 14" he said getting up and hugging me.
"Hi" i said
"I'm Zayn I'm 7. Wanna play Mario with me!" He said excitedly. I couldn't help but smile he was so sweet. He gave me a controller and dragged me to the couch. He must really needed a partner in this game.
"You press this button to jump, this one to run, and this one to duck. It's not hard Carter can do it and he's 3" Zayn said showing me the buttons. I smiled at him and waited for him to start the game. I was getting ready to play when Carter came up to me.
"Hi." Carter said smiling at me. Awwww he's so cute he didn't look like Terrence but he did favor him a little. He must look like his mama.
"Hey lil man how are you." I asked leaning down towards him.
"I'm okay. I'm three" he said to me before walking away to go play with his cars.
I was playing the game with Zayn when Major came and sat right beside me. He looked at me up and down and then again.
"Can I help you?" I asked looking at him.
"You really 19. What year you born in?"
"1997" I said
"Damn and I was born like 5 years later. You might as well be my older sister" he said laughing
"Yeah. But that might be a little weird."i said laughing with him.
"You're pretty though." Major said before walking into the kitchen with Carter right on his tail.
I put my concentration back on the game and was enjoying playing when Tj and Terrence walked out from the back. They both had the same mug on they face. Terrence came next to me and sat next to me pulling me closer to him. I saw Tj rolled his eyes and shake his head at me and his dad. I decided to say something.
"Look I get it, it's weird that I'm younger than you and I'm dating your dad. He never told me how old any of y'all were so i assumed y'all were babies but I see y'all not. Now you can feel how you want but I won't bother you if you don't bother me. Deal?" I said looking Tj in the eyes. He was definitely Terrence all the way.
"Yeah aight. I can't fucking believe this shit and she's fucking pregnant by someone else." He said looking at Terrence
"So. What that mean? I'm grown and so is she you heard what she had to say. She's a nice person get to know her."
"Dad I could fuck her! She could be my girlfriend she's in my age range not yours. I'm surprised you even like her considering you love your women older than you."
"Look you need to chill the fuck out and watch your mouth. Relax it Terrence" My Terrence said to his son getting up in his face.
"I don't know why you tripping for she fine as hell to me. Good job dad." Major said walking back into the living room. Everyone looked at him and bust out laughing.
"And these are my crazy boys. Come here Carter." Carter ran to Terrence with a handful of chips and jumped into his arms. "This is my normal baby." He said kissing Carters cheek.
We all sat down and decided to watch a movie. I cuddled up near Terrence and felt someone looking at me. It was Tj he would occasionally stare at me and then back at the tv. I got up and excused myself to the bathroom and again he was just looking at me. Oookay. After I was done doing my business I washed my hands and walked out the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and bumped into Tj.
"Excuse me."
"You excused." He said to me mean mugging the hell out of me.
"Why you so mean? The fuck did I do to you?" I said
"Nothing but I can smell trouble all on you. You still hung up on the person that knocked you up. Leave my dad alone!" Tj whispered to me.
"Get the fuck out your feelings and deal with the fact that I'm in his life. Sensitive ass" i said storming off.
He grabbed my armed and stopped me in my traps. He looked me up and down and then smirked. I don't know what the fuck was so funny but I don't like his mean ass at all.
"Aight I see you tough girl." He said before walking away from me.
I walked back into the living room and Terrence looked at me and nodded got me to go outside with him. I walked with him to his porch and sat down.
"So how old were you when you had Tj i mean he's older than me."
"I was 15 when he was born. Shit I was so scared when I found out that I was going to be a dad so young that I asked my mom to let me move to Hawaii with my grandparents. But my dad said no. That's why I was 18 when I married Yasmine and we got a divorce right around the time Carter was born"
"Damn. And Tj and Major are definitely your twins Zayn and Carter must look like their moms cause they don't really look like you."
"Yeah they do. It's so funny." He said laughing.
He walked up to me and kissed me and I melted into his arms and we went to bed that night. After that meeting Tj finally warmed up to me and we all were close.
Thinking about Terrence made me cry. I went to grabbed my phone and called him.
"Hey baby I was just about to call you." Terrence said
"Baby I cant wait until you come home I miss you too" i said into the phone crying.
"Baby what's wrong? What happened?"
I wanted so badly to tell him I fucked Chandler but I couldnt do that. I'm keeping that secret.
"Nothing it's Zara she got hurt in a bad car accident i almost thought I lost her."
"Aww baby Im sorry are you there with her?"
"Yeah I saw her yesterday and a bit this morning. I feel better knowing that she's okay now but she's literally my soulmate and I couldn't imagine not having her in my life"
"Damn your soul mate though." He laughed into the phone.
"Yeah my soul mate." I said laughing with him.
I walked around my apartment when I heard keys jingling on the locks. I turned around and saw Chandler walking into the house with Mariah in his arms and he looked pissed the fuck off. He walked into the spare bedroom and laid her on the bed with pillows around her and came back out and sat down on the couch.
"Terrence I have to call you back baby. I love you"
"Love you to mamas"
I saw Chandler laugh and smirk at me and I already knew what he was going to say and I don't want to hear it right now. He held his hand out for me and I grabbed it and he pulled me close to him.
"What's wrong with you?" I asked
"I just told Monica I wanted a divorce and took the baby." He said while rubbing his temples.
My ears perked up I wanted to know what happened and what led to this happening.
"What happened?"
He was going to tell me when my phone rang. I got up and looked and saw that it was my mom calling.
"Hello mama how are you!" I said into the phone
"Is Chandler with you?"
"No I haven't seen him." I said into the phone. I looked at Chandler and he mouth for me to put it on speaker phone.
"Well your baby daddy has lost his mind. Apparently he threatened Monica with a divorce."
"Oh wow" I said into the phone trying to hold back my laugh. I honestly don't even care.
"Yeah but call me if he pops up wherever you are."
"Okay ma kiss my baby for me I'm going to bed."
I put my phone down and looked up at him. He looked at me completely unfazed about everything. I nodded my head for him to tell me but he just didn't.
"Soooo"
"What?" He asked
"You're getting a divorce." I said looking up at him
Somewhere small in my heart hopes this was true but I highly doubt it.
"I don't know I only said it cause I was mad." He shrugged off
"Seriously Chandler!"
"Yes."
See no matter what he's never gonna leave her. No more fighting for him Alana stop getting stuck on stupid for this man. I watched as he walked to the back without a care in the world as sat in my bed and spread out. I could tell that he was thinking about everything and how he was going to let me down easy how he's not going to be mine. He sat up and gesture for me to come to him but I just stood bye the door.
"I'm okay right here."
"You know I love you right."
"Don't start with that." I said waving him off.
"With what it's the truth but-"
"BUT YOU CANT LEAVE HER EVEN THOUGH YOURE IN LOVE WITH ME.. blah blah blah fucking same old song over and over again!!"
"The fuck you want me to do?"
"Nothing I don't want anything from you! You have done enough to me. I have been used and abused by you and I'm out. Forreal this time I'm out." I said
"Pssh okay Alana. Same shit with you too same old stupid shit! You out then you're in then you right back out." Chandler said getting in my face.
"Yeah I'm done! Over it and I'm over you. Get yo damn child and get the fuck out! Get out my damn house!! And once we're back home you may leave!!"
"Fine fuck this shit. All the women in my life have gone fucking crazy! Don't be crying to me for anything I'm done too. You take care of yourself for now on if it's not about Avery don't call me! I'm done Alana once I walk out this door it's done." Chandler said walking past me to go get Mariah.
"I never did need you to take care of me that was all your idea! Hurry the fuck up and get the fuck out!" I said as I pushed him to the door.
Tears flowing down my face once again over a man that don't give two shits about me. I took everything in me to not punch him in the face but I don't want to be physically fighting tonight. Chandler turned around and looked at me with the same tear stained face. Guilt instantly feeling my body but I have to be strong. I have to gain control with him or I'll never get it.
"This is it?"
"Yeah it is." I said sadly
"Once we get back to Arizona I'll pack my things and give you space. I'm sorry baby"
He pulled me close to him and tried to kiss me but so turned my head away and walked back into the house.
"Good bye chandler." Once I locked the door I went into my room and grabbed the tequila from under my bed and took it to the head. Here's to not being anyone's second pick and being controlled by assholes. Cheers good fucking night.