Loving him is so wrong!

Chapter nine

Alana
After Zara left I was in real deep thought. I know what I promise to her but I can't do it I love Chandler way too much. I looked at Chandler with a bag of food and smiled but again ended up in deep thought. What good has he really done me besides orgasms and money? Am I really in love with him or is it lust? Can I leave everyone and be on my own? I mean I've been on my own for two years now but really can I be on my own for good with a baby at that.. I was sitting and thinking and thinking that I didn't even notice Chandler was trying to get my attention.
"I'm sorry baby what were you saying?" I said looking up at him.
"I said are you hungry you have to feed my lil man in there.. what's on your mind? You in pain?" He asked while taking the food out of the bags.
My stomach instantly started rumbling from the smell off my chipotle bowl and quickly grabbed my fork and started to dig in. Chandler laughed at me and shook his head.
"Damn ma my baby got you out here eating like you ain't never ate before. But Forreal what's on your mind?" He said and sat down at the edge of the hospital bed.
"I'm just nervous and i feel guilty about all of this. I fucked up everyone's life all over dick. No offense baby but it's true. I can't help that i fell in love with you but i just i don't know I'm ashamed kinda" i said in one breath.
"You didn't do this alone i also had a huge part in it considering that I'm your god father. Probably not now but still I could have easily said no but i didn't. I wanted you as bad as you wanted me that night but we made this bed and together we will get through this." He said grabbing my hand and smiling at me.
Shit! Now I'm conflicted I don't know what to do I don't know anymore. Nowadays I'm letting everyone make the decision for me but what do I want to do. I got to figure this shit out and fast. I ate my food and went to shower because the nurse told me that I can now go home if i wanted to and I was ready to go home I needed my own bed.
"Okay Miss Boa Vista you're all set his i have your discharge papers here and all i need is your signature and you're good to go" the nurse said happily
"Umm how long will she have this cast on her arm?" Chandler asked walking out of the bathroom.
"I'm sorry and you are? Her dad?"
"Boyfriend" Chandler said in mean tone.
I looked at Chandler and with my eyes i was telling him to stop it. He looked at the nurse and snatched the papers out of her hands and continued to pack my things up. The nurse gasped and pulled me close to her.
"Honey are you sure you're safe to leave with him. I mean we all heard your situation in the hall but if you need help just ask" she said in a whisper
"I'm fine. I'm sorry for how he acted but I'm safe and thanks for your concern" i said
She nodded her head and went to grab the wheelchair. She gestured for me to get in the chair and wheeled me out of the room and to Chandler's truck.
"I got her from here" Chandler said as he picked me up out of the wheelchair and into the truck.
"You know I can get it in my own you know" i said
Chandler looked at me and laughed. The nurse came up to me and gave me my prescription papers.
"She can take her cast off in a week but no heavy lifting for her okay."
"Okay i got it I'll make sure she don't lift a thing."
We drove back to my apartment in silence. My mind was nonstop on this situation. I didn't know what to do anymore. I have one day to decide if I want to leave or stay with him.
"You good baby you're quiet" chandler said
"Yeah I'm good. Baby I'm just... mmmm horny" i said grabbing his hand.
Chandler pulled up to my apartment and helped me out of the car and we walked up the stairs to my apartment. He sat all out things down on the table and picked me up. I bust into my room and started taking all my clothes off. He ripped off my leggings and drove head first into my vagina. I moaned and grabbed the back of his head. Chandler was very skilled in this department he would suck on my clit and then bite and repeat. He put two of his fingers inside me and started moving them in a "come here" motion all while sucking on my clit. My eyes rolled to the back of my head and i felt myself cumming. Right before i cummed Chandler stopped.
"I don't want you to cum yet" he said with his face covered in my juices.
"What Chandler stoooooop playing with me I need to cum" i said pushing my body closer to his face.
"No not yet!" Chandler said.
He went to the many closet and grabbed vibrator and then came back to me. I smiled because i knew exactly where this was heading. He walked to the bed and motioned for me to come to the bed. I got on the bed and bent over making sure my ass was all the way in the air so he can have full access. He put the vibrator in his mouth and then slowly slid it in and out of my pussy. I moaned into the pillow and rocked my hips to his rhythm. He grabbed my hips to stop me from moving and then inserted his finger into my ass. I gasped at the foreign feeling. We barely do anal but when we do it's amazing. He put the vibrator deeper inside me and then started kissing my ass and licking all on it. I moaned and whimper because it was too much of a sensation at the same time i felt like i was gonna go crazy. I felt Chandler body shift over mine so i braved myself. Slowly Chandler entered his dick into my ass and out and then in and out over and over again. I gasped and held on to the headboard because it was starting to hurt. He then pushed his dick all the way inside of me and grind his hips in a circular motion.
"Aaaaah fuck Chandler you're too far in fuuuuuck"
Chandler slapped my ass and then moved his hips faster.
"Shut yo and take this dick" he said in between strokes. He took the vibrator and pushed it further into me all while not loosing his rhythm. My bed was rocking and jumping so much that the person living under me was beating on their ceiling. I was screaming and moaning with begging him to stop but not stop.
"Shit Chandler don't stop keep going... do it harder fuck me harder"
Chandler pulled the vibrator out my pussy and then rammed his dick all the way in I felt like he was coming out of my nose. I couldn't even catch my breath in between his strokes. He was giving me his all with every stroke i felt like he was trying to break me in two.
"I'm cumming daddy fuck meeeeee ahhhh shit" i screamed to the top of my lungs. I wanted everyone in this apartment building to hear me.
"Fuck i love you so much Alana please don't leave me!! Please don't leave!!" Chandler cried in my ears and collapsed on top of me.
Hearing him cry made me again conflicted on what to do, I want to raise this baby with his or her's family but i know it would be nothing but drama from Chandler side and disappointment from my side. I've made up my mind.. I know what I have to do now. I got up out the bed and walked into the bathroom and closed the door. I cut the sink on and cried my heart out. I love this man with all my heart but I have to leave. I need to get away from here for a bit. How long, i don't know but it's happening. I wiped my tears off and put on my face mask.
"Chandler pass me my phone please I need to call my mama" I yelled out to him.
Chandler walked into the bathroom and handed me my cellphone and kissed me on the lips. I smiled at him and pushed him out that bathroom. I didn't want to call my mom but i knew eventually I had to face her.
"Alana Brielle Boa Vista! I've been waiting on this phone call don't you say shit ima talk first."
"O-"
"Shut up i said I'm doing the talking here. What the fuck? Like really what the fuck was you thinking. All the men and dick in the world and that's who you decide to open your legs for? I can't believe it! It's fucking sick I'm so disappointed in you. Your father doesn't know what to do. He's been crying for the past two days you hurt his heart and the fact that Chandler even had the NERVE to put his hands on you is fucked up!" My mom yelled in the phone..
"Ma I'm so sorry but listen to me I didn't mean for any of this to happen I fucked up and fucked up bad. But i need to talk to you and dad about something. Can you get him please?"
"What wrong?" My mom said
"Nothing I just need to talk to y'all about something"
I sat there for a few seconds I heard my dad in the background screaming about how he was upset and didn't want to talk to me. I rolled my eyes at him because even though he said that he was going to talk to me anyways.
"What girl what do you need? Chandler can take care of you now." My dad said into the phone
"Really papa i need to talk to you and ma please just listen to me"
"Fine, what is it"
I took a deep breath and looked to see if Chandler was us,but he was in my bed sleeping. I walked to the kitchen and made me something to eat.
"I'm thinking I need to leave Tennessee for a bit" i said.
"Where you gonna go?" My mom said
"Arizona!" My dad and me said at the same time.
For some reason since I was a little I always said I'll move to Arizona and have a ranch house. Not that I would have horses or anything but I love the idea of having them.
" are you sure you can be alone. Alana you're pregnant you can't do that on your own I don't like what you and Chandler have but you're gonna need him." My mom said
"Ma I'm 19 years old I can take care of myself if I need you or dad I'll call you but I'm not letting him know where I'm going. I need time away from him and if he knows where I am then I'm gonna be right back at square one about this whole situation." I said  in a whisper