Loving him is so wrong!

Chapter nineteen

Alana
Stupid I'm so fucking stupid. I wasn't trying to kiss Chandler like that but it just happened I got caught up. One thing about Chandler is that he's an amazing kisser and that's what got me. I sat down in the hospital bed and just cried. While crying Avery started to cry and I went to pick him up.
"Come on little duck it's okay. Mama got you here have a tit" i said as I positioned him to my boobs. He latched on and started to drink. Watching him drink I smiled through my tears. I promise that I would raise him to be an amazing man nothing like his dad.
"Why are you crying?" My mom asked scaring me out of my thoughts.
"Shit ma I didn't hear you come in. Where's dad?" I said trying to wipe my tears away.
"He saw Terrence leave then Chandler storm out of here and he went to talk to him. What happened?"
"He kissed me and Terrence saw it. Ma I'm so stupid I shouldn't have kissed him."
"You shouldn't have slept with him either but if you didn't I wouldn't have this cutie pie in my life. But ima ask you this one thing." She grabbed Avery out of my arm and sat in the chair.
"What?" I said looking up at her.
"Why did you kiss him if you're in love with Terrence"
"Because I'm in love with him too i think" i said and cried.
"No. You're not in love with Chandler he's safe. You're scared to move on so you keep fucking him. I see how giddy you get when Terrence calls you. I see how your eyes sparkle and you just glow with him. You are always in awe of Terrence and you get nervous when he's around cause you wanna seem perfect for him. Girl Chandler isn't your happily ever after Terrence is and you need to let him know it." My mom said
"I tried calling him he hasn't answer"
"And he isn't you need to let him cool off and get his mind right but when you get discharged call him." My mom said
I sat there and talked to my mom a little more before getting Avery ready for bed. I laid in bed and couldn't sleep I was afraid to do it. I didn't wanna sleep through him crying even though I know I won't but still it scared me the thought of it. Finally drifting off to sleep Avery started to cry. Ughhh hello motherhood.
"Okay baby mama is here. Oh it looks like you're wet let's change that booty." I said to Avery I laid him down on my bed and just stared at him. It's crazy how much he looks like Chandler I only saw a little bit of me in him. I changed and fed him and put him right back into bed then I finally drifted off to sleep.
The next morning I woke up and saw Avery wasn't in his bed. I panicked until I saw Chandler holding him and talking to him. The sight of them rugged at my heartstrings.
"Say goodmorning mama give me boobies" Chandler said in a baby voice making me laugh. I'm still mad though.
"Morning baby boy you're hungry? Mama got exactly what you need." He latched on and I sat down on the bed. Chandler watched me but I ignored his gaze and focused on the television.
"So you're going to ignore me the whole time?" Chandler said.
"Yes. What you did was unacceptable and I'm a fool for allowing it." I said looking up at him.
"What? you liked it and so did I, So I don't know why you tripping for." Chandler said waving me off
Avery stopped eating and I put him over my shoulders and burped him. Avery was knocked out right after that so Chandler grabbed him and held him while he slept.
"No I didn't like it. You're safe"
"What?"
"I said you're safe but I don't need safe. I'm afraid to love Terrence because I'm so used to you but I'm moving on and I'm getting him back"
"Hmmp okay. Well good luck with that."
I rolled my eyes at him and just sat back in the bed. I was so ready to get out this hospital so I can get back into my own bed cause this bed ain't cutting it. I picked my phone up and called Terrence. Of course it went to voicemail so I texted him.
Me: Can we talk?
Terrence: why I'm good. I need to go to your house and get my things out of there.
Me:no you don't it's staying!
Terrence: I'm not with the shit. When are you getting discharged so I can get my shit?
Me: Hopefully today but can I talk to you please.
Terrence: you can talk to me whenever you get discharged then I'm gone
I put my phone down and got up and went to the bathroom and started crying. I really want Terrence and I'm not letting him go that easily. If I have to act crazy I will he ain't see crazy yet! Hours later the doctor told me I can go and Avery can leave too since he was doing good and I was so excited. I put Avery in his car seat and sat in the wheelchair and was ready to go. I was so nervous to handle Avery on my own but I got this. We got outside and stopped me in front of his truck instead of my parents car.
"You're riding with me not your parents" Chandler said to me.
"Why?" I asked standing up
"We gotta talk." Was all he said as he put Avery in the car and securing him then he helped me into the car. I got comfortable in the backseat with the baby and waited on Chandler to say what he had to say.
"So Alana I know you're mad at me baby but I wanted to talk to you about staying up here for a couple of months." He said looking at me through the rearview mirror.
"How long is a couple of months?"
"Twelve months" he said nonchalant
The fuck he means a whole damn year. Does he realize he got a whole other baby at home and a fucking wife. I hope he ain't trying to stay at my house.
"Are you serious a whole year? What about Monica and y'all baby. Did you forget they exist? Where you staying at?" I said while checking on Avery.
" No I didn't forget about them. Well I actually have a business deal three hours away from here that I've been dealing with for a minute so I decided just to stay. Mon said she would find somewhere to live here so I can have my family here and be close to my son."
I rolled my eyes and looked out the window. This is some bullshit and I know it is. I came here to be away from him not so he could be closer to me. We got home ten minutes later and at the same time Terrence pulled up. Chandler got out the car and grabbed the baby but before he did him and Terrence had a stare down. Terrence looked down at me and walked pass me. I went into my home and went into the nursery with Chandler and watched him put him down in the crib. I cut on the baby monitor and cut it all the way up and walked out the room and into mine. I saw Terrence grab some of his stuff and sat it down on the bed. As he took stuff out I grabbed them and put them back in the closet. He rolled his eyes and grabbed more of his stuff but this time I snatched the clothes out of his hands. He sighed and walked away from the closet.
"Alana I'm not Chandler I don't find this cute at all" he said trying to hide his smile.
"Terrence I don't care I'm not giving up that easily."
"I'm done playing second I thought you would have understood that too but I guess not."
"You told me to tell you if Chandler tried something else with me but you didn't let me get a chance to explain any of it!" I said as I started crying.
"Explain what I saw you pull him on top of you I didn't need any explanation about that." Terrence said sitting down in my bed.
"Yes you do! He kissed me and I got caught up and I quickly stopped it. I did pull him on top of me and I'm not going to lie about that  but I don't want him I want you. Please baby"  I kneeled in front of him and looked him dead in his eyes. "I'm sorry Terrence but you're not getting rid of me easily. You told me I had three months to figure out if I wanted you and it's only been twoish so ha I have another month!"
"Shit you do don't you. Well fuck I did say that." Terrence smirked at me. "Can't believe I'm asking this but did you make a decision yet?."
"I did I'm looking at him." I said as I got close to his lips. He pulled me into his lap and kissed me but then Avery started to cry. I ran right into his room and grabbed him and began feeding him. This boy love boobs. Chandler walked in and sat next to me while I fed him.
"All good with that man?" Chandler asked
"Actually everything is amazing between us" i said smiling hard.
Chandler looked so disappointed and I wanted to laugh at him. It's so obvious that he wanted me to crawl back to him but that's not happening. As much as I love Chandler I'm not going to make a fool out of myself again. Chandler got closer to me and grabbed Avery out of my arms. He rocked Avery back to sleep and closed the nursery door.
"Why did you close the door?" I asked standing up to open it
"I'm just trying to talk to you in private. What you can't be behind close doors with me now?" Chandler said
"No close doors and us don't mix. But what do you wanna talk about"
"Me moving in for a bit." He said sitting down.
"Really Chandler? You said you was getting a place with your wife!" I screamed
"I am getting a place with her here but just for right now I would like to stay."
"I can't believe this shit. Where you going to sleep?"
"With y-"
"Aaaaah no. In the guest room only"
He looked at me and smiled. I couldn't believe this shit but I knew he was going to pull this shit once Avery was born so at the same time I'm not shocked. I sat down and thought about it all. Terrence doesn't live here but I do want his input on this.
"So you're considering it or what?"
I walked out the room and into my room. I saw Terrence in the bed on his phone when he saw me he smiled and looked up at me. I rolled my eyes and sat on him.
"What's wrong mama?" Terrence said rubbing my back then shoulders
"Chandler wants to move in!" I screamed as I sat next to him
Terrence looked at me and pulled me close to him. "Let him move in. I trust you kinda around him." He said kissing my earlobes then my neck.
"What you mean kinda trust me?" I asked
"I mean you like to throw him over you." He said pulling my shirt over my head.
"SIX WEEKS YOU ARE WAITING SIX WEEKS!!" I screamed
"I know that. I just wanna rub you boobs" he said grabbing my boobs.
"No you're such a pervert!" I laughed "come see the baby!"
We walked into the nursery and Terrence went over and looked at Avery. He was hesitant at first to grab him but eventually he picked him up.
"Oooo hey there baba you're so tiny I'm your stepdaddy ." Terrence said to him making me laugh
" oh really who said I wanted to marry you. I don't even know if I like you like that"
"Okay but you was just crying for me to stay and you don't know if you like me that much" Terrence said slightly pushing me.
I went to him and kissed his face right as Chandler walked in. He had suitcases and I groaned just that quick I was in a mood. Seeing Chandler just stare at me made my mind go back to the day I told him I was pregnant and he beat me to a bloody pulp. He looks like he wants to do that to me now and Terrence.
"Looks like you're staying here" Terrence said to Chandler in a sarcastic tone
"Are you homeless or something. Can't you go back your own house? What afraid that she'll fuck me" Chandler said matching Terrence's tone.
"Y'all both too old to be bickering like this. Grow up!"I said
"It's getting late and i have my sons tonight I'll talk to you later baby" Terrence bent down and kissed me. "Oh and Chandler I know she won't fuck you because my tongue already got her going crazy"
I hid my laugh and just walked Terrence to the door.
"You did not have to say all to him." I laughed
"Yeah I did. Bye baby I'll see you next week." He kissed me one more time before jogging to his car and leaving. I walked back into the house and Chandler was naked walking to the bathroom. I couldn't help myself I looked at his dick. I looked and then quickly turned my head. He saw me looking and then grabbed me close to him.
"You can join me in the shower."
"Good night Chandler and put some damn clothes on!!!" I grabbed Avery and put him in his bassinet in my room and locked the door.
Whew yeah this is going to be a test for sure but I know I'll pass.