Loving him is so wrong!

Chapter 37

Alana
I'm over this fucking trip. It's only been like four days but it feels like it's been forever. I'm so ready to go home it has been nothing but drama from the beginning. And I got fucking shot which is something I can now cross off my bucket list. Zara was rolling me to Chandler's room and I felt my heart beating really fast. Not only have I been crying over him I also feel very guilty about Levi. I know Im single and all but this sense of loyalty I have to Chandler is fucking insane. I feel like I'm cheating on him and we aren't even in a relationship. Plus I always feel like he knows when I've done something by just looking at me. So I'm nervous but happy that he's awake.
"Don't forget after you see my dad you are telling me everything!" Zara said in an excited tone.
"I will. But there really isn't much to tell."
"You're sleeping with him now?"
"No we haven't done anything. He kissed me back at the villa then he kissed me here. I know he's only doing it to spite Chandler."
"Hmmm I don't think so I mean my dad already tried to kill him once you think he won't try again over you. Speaking of which what's going on there?"
"Girl I don't even know what I want or who I want. I'm just out here blowing in the wind"
"More like pussy blowing in the wind i give you a week before you text me about fucking him"Zara said
"I won't!" I said
We started laughing and then quickly stopped once we got to Chandler's room. I saw him laying in the bed and my heart instantly started breaking. I always hated seeing Chandler in any type of pain even though he caused this one.
"Hey baby." I said as I smiled at him and rubbed his arm and then his head.
"Mmmmm I feel good." He said slurring
"Ooooooh them painkillers got you feeling right." I laughed
"Mhmmm I'm sorry baby. I don't even know what I was thinking."
"You wasn't thinking. You always go crazy." My dad said walking into the room with Levi right behind him.
Chandler laughed and then grabbed at my hospital gown to see what happened to me. I was still in a little pain so I snatched his hand away from me. He playfully pulled again at me until I was almost on top of him.
"There's people I'm here. Stop it" i giggled
Seeing Chandler in a playful mood is something I loved. He's a nice person if he didn't always go with his first instinct on things.
"Stay in here with me once everyone leaves" he whispered to me. I nodded my head and then gave him a kiss. Every time I moved I felt Levi watching me. I know why he's doing what he's doing and I definitely wanted no parts in it. I had enough drama in my life for ten people.
"Okay you two I need y'all to stop before Avery ends up with another sibling." Zara said in a disgusted tone.
"Can we please go home I'm sick of being in Mexico." I said
"Fucking same. I had enough" chandler quickly said agreeing with me
"I have to agree too. Bad idea coming to see y'all." Levi said laughing
"You right about that." Chandler said to him
Chandler and Levi both was sitting on opposite sides of the room and just looked at each other. There was nothing said but you could see that they still wanted to kill each other. My dad saw them glaring at each other and then got up and said something. He got up and started talking.
"Look y'all we were all best friends shit brothers. We all did our dirt and we got over it. Chandler remember when you slept with Laura?" My dad said looking at him.
Chandler gave my dad a shocked face and then Levi got up mad. I guess that was another secret Chandler didn't want to get out.
"Really Alonzo shit you slept with her too hell the day after. Don't try and just put it all on me." Chandler said
"Y'all did what?!"
"We were all in college. You knew she was a hoe hell back then everyone had her." My dad said laughing
"Shìt. And then turned around and married the girl." Chandler said in an amused tone.
"Yeah y'all are right about that. Remember that time I caught her with that girl in my dorm. Shit that was my first threesome" Levi said
It got silent and then all three of them started laughing and going on about it their college days. Me and Zara looked at each other and just shook our head and just sat there. We ain't know what was going on or how they got to reminiscing the old days but we listened to everything. My dad always knew how to get people to feel better he was the peacemaker of the friend group. And obviously Chandler was the hot head. Levi was probably the petty instigating one.
"Man those were the days. Look Chandler I'm truly am sorry about everything that happened between us. It was a mistake upon a mistake that turned into something that shouldn't have been. Can you forgive me?"
Everyone looked at Chandler and waited for his answer. He sat there for a minute or two then he held is hand out so the could do a handshake. Levi got up and put his hand in Chandler's and they laughed at each other. Seriously! They couldn't have did this the first day he came over. I fucking got shot because they couldn't talk to each other without arguing. Fucking bullshit but I'll take it over fighting any day.Two hours later everyone left out of the room so it was just me and Chandler.
"You really okay baby?" Chandler asked me
"Yes Im fine. How do you feel?"
"Like shit but I'll live. Baby when we go home I've been thinking about something."
"What's that??" I asked as I climbed into bed with him. Chandler tried his best to move over without hurting himself and I got comfortable and laid on his chest.
"Can we start over? Can we really really just start over. I know you said you wanted to figure you out and be single but I feel like you already know who you want to be with."
"You feel like I already know what I want?" I said bitchy tone
Chandler rolled his eyes and then grabbed my hands. I know what's he going to ask but I'm not doing anything until he actually divorces Monica. He can say all he wants that he's gonna do it but until he signs that paper then he could forget it.
"I'm actually gonna divorce her. Stop thinking that I'm not going to do it. It's going to take a month tops hopefully." Chandler said
I waited so long for him to say that but I felt like it was too good to be true. I felt like everything was finally going to be complete but then what. I become his wife? We have more kids then he dies on me like thirty years later considering our age difference. Then I'm fifty and alone. Shit what about our sex life and one year he just can't get it up and I'm left unsatisfied. I know what my real problem is and it's not any of those things. I'm scared of commitment even though I see my parents happy and in love all the time. At least that's what they show on the surface there was a time Monica and Chandler were the same way but I was right there fucking him. Snapping me out of my thoughts the nurse walked in and rolled in food for Chandler to eat. She put the tray down in front of him and smiled once she became face to face with him. Almost like flirting with him without words. Chandler noticed and smiled back at her making me roll my eyes. I cleared my throat and then got up.
"I got it from here you can leave." I spat at the nurse and then turned and looked at Chandler who was entertained by the fact that I was jealous. I slapped his leg and then put all his food out for him. Definitely not gonna marry this asshole if he thinks this is the shit I'm gonna be put through. I'm not Monica!
"Seriously Chandler get shot again!" I said
"What I do? We both single and she was kinda cute."Chandler said
"Oh two can play that game!" I screamed at him and then sat back down in my chair. I chuckled at him and sat back while he ate his food. I watched him as he ate then another nurse came in to give him more medicine and to check his vitals.
"Damn this medicine making me sleepy. Go back to your room and I'll see you tomorrow." Chandler said to me while rubbing his eyes and cutting the television off. I leaned over and kissed him and then the nurse offered to roll me back to my room. Once we got in my room I saw Levi sitting in my room waiting for me.
"Hey." Levi said
"Hi." I said
"So what's good with you?"
"Levi what do you want? I don't want any drama."
"I'm not trying to cause no drama with you I know how to keep a secret it will be between me and you. Think about it I mean don't let Chandler control you forever"
"He doesn't control me! Didn't y'all just make up?why are you trying to fuck me?"I yelled
"We did." Levi said in a smart tone.
"Can you leave? I want to shower I'll talk to you tomorrow."
I walked into the bathroom completely over our conversation and he was right behind me. Levi closed the door and smiled at me.
"Get out!" I said trying not to smile. Shit he's fine as hell.
" When we leave this fucked up vacation I want you to call me in a week." He said grabbing me
"Why in a week?"
"Because I said so. I'll come to Arizona and we can do whatever you want then we'll never speak of it again. Poor Alonzo, he doesn't have one friend that doesn't want you."
"And if I don't call?" I said breathing hard. Levi then grabbed my face and kissed me. He had a tight grip on my hips as he pushed me towards him leaving no space in between us. I tried pulling back from him but he shook his head and bite my lips making me kiss him some more. Levi pulled back and let me go and looked me in the eyes. I swear his eye contact makes you nervous it's so intense.
"It's not an option plus I know you'll call me."
"I wont." I said as I folded my arms in front of me and rolled my eyes
Levi laughed and then rubbed his thumb over my lip and kissed me one more time before opening the bathroom door.
"Yes you will." Levi said over his shoulders
"I'm serious I won't."
"Sure you won't."
The audacity of him. I'm not gonna do it because I know the shit is going to blow up in my face. But, I could hit in one time like he said. Hmmm maybe I'll do that. I got in the shower and thought about Levi and just battling with myself on if I'm going to do it or not. After I got out the shower I FaceTimed my mom to check on Avery and then went to sleep. Fine I'll do it but only one time then I'm focusing on myself and my son.