Loving him is so wrong!

Chapter fourteen

Monica
I can't believe he lied to me and said that he didn't know where Alana was. At first I thought maybe he thought I was her on the phone but then when I heard her in the background I knew that they were together. I cried myself to sleep that night and continued to blow Chandler's phone up and he never picked up or anything. That was three weeks ago and he has yet returned home or called to check up on me. I officially don't know what to do anymore when it comes to this marriage but all I know is that I'm not giving up without a fight. Hearing the alarm on the house go off knocked me out my thoughts and I ran down the stairs to see if Chandler finally found his way back home. When I saw him he grabbed our daughter from my arms and went upstairs like his ass wasn't gone for three damn weeks with his hoe.
"So you really ignored my ass for three whole weeks to be with that bitch like you don't have a family at home" i screamed up the stairs.
"You wanna talk or do you wanna yell? Chandler said from the stairs.
"I wanna know why you was with her for almost a month" i said walking up the steps. I went to grab our daughter from her arms but he pushed me away from him.
"I went to check up on her okay is that okay with you? I mean she's pregnant with my son i have a right to see where she staying at. Also I helped her get stuff for our son and put it together that's it. No we didn't have sex no i didn't stay in the bed with her no i didn't do none of that! So can you stop obsessing over this girl. Shit she ain't even worried about you but you sholl is worried about her. Just shut up some damn time that's why my ass stayed away for so long I'm over your damn nagging. Shut up about Alana shit!!" He said dismissing me and walking into our room locking the door behind him.
I went back downstairs and just digested everything he said. I know he lying about not fucking her but I have no proof. The only way I will get the truth is if I called Alana but I don't have her new number. I really want to talk to her face to face but she won't come home. I'm not obsessed over her I just want to know why. Why my husband? I watched her from being a little baby to the young adult that she is today. I walked over to his suitcase and saw that in one of the pockets his phone was in there. I grabbed his phone and ran into the bathroom to go through it. The first thing I saw was the ultrasound and yup she's having his boy. I get tears come to my face but I refused to let them fall. This bitch is really giving him the one thing he wanted more than anything in the world. Of course I went through the messages and saw nothing. No indication of them having sex nothing just a bunch of planning for their baby. Out of my mind I called her just to see how she answered the phone. Alana answered on the first ring.
"Hey baby you miss me already" she chuckled into the phone.
"Listen here bitch I'm sick of you trying to fuck up my marriage!" I said to her
"Girl no you not going through this man phone ain't you a bit old for this shit." She said laughing
"Shut the fuck up! You ain't nothing but the side chick having a baby because you know he'll take care of you for life..!"
"Bitch! You know what I'm not even finna argue with yo ass over a man who has shown you multiple times that he's in love with me. He just ate my pussy and my ass before he left! Bye hoe get off my phone."
She hung up the phone and I was livid. I knew that he had sex with her but admitting that made it more real.
I went upstairs mad as hell to see if Chandler had the door unlocked and he did. I watched as he put Mariah to sleep and then once he put her down I slapped him in the back of his head.
"YOU LYING PIECE OF SHIT! You told me you didn't fuck her but you did! I just got off the phone with her..You keep playing me over and over for that bitch! I'm a good woman I was here for you when you had nothing! I held you down ME NOT THAT BITCH!! Fuck you fuck you FUCK YOU" i screamed waking up Mariah.
"You crazy bitch you just woke her up. You really called her for what. She just said that because she knows how to get under your skin. Now look at you she probably laughing while you in here acting a damn fool out of yourself" Chandler yelled
Chandler grabbed our daughter and pushed me down on the bed so he could walk out the room. I was on his tail following him.
"We need to go to counseling and ASAP! I love you and I want us to work but why do I feel like I'm the only one wanting this marriage to work Chandler? Huh? You steady saying you want to be with me but you still thinking about being her.You got one foot out the door and i need you either here or there so what do you want?" I asked calmly
Chandler turned around and looked at me. He seemed to be thinking about what he wanted to say or how to say it. It was killing me because if he truly loved me he wouldn't have to think about what he had to say. I'm losing my husband and there isn't much I can do it's all on him now.
"I honestly don't know what I want or who I want to be completely honest with you. I won't lie to you and say that I think I'm in love with Alana now. I mean I think I am I feel like I am when I'm here with her. I love her so much Monica and that's the truth I'm sorry. You nagging do make me want her back and to live with her that's why I stayed that extra week. When I was there I thought about getting a divorce now I don't know i want this to work but you have to work with me."
"So you're in love with her? Is what you're saying"
"Ma, you ain't listening to me! I don't know if I'm in love with her but if you want to go to counseling we can." Chandler said kissing me.
"We can go tomorrow!"
I went downstairs in tears and sat on the couch and let myself take a much needed nap.
***************The next day*******************
I was nervous to go to counseling knowing that Chandler finally opened up about Alana more than he has before. Hearing my husband say he might be in love with her is heart breaking and I don't know what to do. The whole morning we haven't said a word to each other we just walked around acting as if we don't know each other at all. I know I say this a lot but I want my marriage to work. We sat in the waiting room again waiting for our appointment and you could hear a pin drop. I sat there watching him text away on his phone probably texting Alana. He would smile and laughed at his phone texting away. It was annoying as fuck to see him so happy like our marriage wasn't falling apart.
"Who are you texting?" I asked
"Alana. She's updating me on our baby." He said like that was perfectly normal.
"Well why are you smiling at your phone she must be doing more than talking about y'all bastard baby"
"Fuck did you just say?" Chandler said standing up in my face.
"Nothing" I said now standing up too.
"Yeah that's what I thought bitch." Chandler said.
I looked out the corner of my eyes and saw that our therapist assistant was standing there looking at us like we were crazy.
"Umm she's ready for y'all." She said turning away and holding the door open for us.
We sat down on different ends of the couch pouting and mumbling shit under our breaths. He was still on his phone texting that bitch and smiling. I felt my anger getting the best of me and I tried to snatch the phone out his hand. We argued quietly for a couple of minutes before our therapist walked in.
"Well I see you two are not progressing at all." Dr. Johnson said.
"Well we would be if he would stop fucking around on me with that bitch Alana." I spat
"Oh. So you finally got in touch with her?" She asked
"Yeah I did and I went and stayed with her for a couple of weeks too." Chandler said
"Yeah but he didn't have to lie about that. He went to see her and lied saying it was a business trip.!" I yelled
"Why did you lie?" Dr. Johnson said
"Because I don't need her all in my business every day. I knew if I told her that I was going to see Alana it was gonna he drama and here we are DRAMA! I love Mon i really do but I just can't do this anymore I tried but I'm over it!" Chandler said pacing the office
Dr.Johnson and I both looked at Chandler so he could elaborate more. He was mumbling under his breath again then his phone rang. He looked down at it and then answered.
"Hey i will call you back I'm busy... yeah I'm here... no baby you're fine you calling me just made my decision a little clearer... yeah I'll call you back in about thirty minutes... okay love you too" chandler said before hanging up the phone
I was pissed. Here we go fighting for our marriage and he's talking sweet to her. Like are we serious right now.
"See that is what I'm talking about that bitch is our problem!!"
"Alana. Okay so chandler sit for me and answer this question for me" dr Johnson said.
"Okay what." He sat down looking at her.
"Are you in love with Alana?"
He looked from me to her and then didn't say anything. Nothing but his facial expression has guilt written all over it. He sat backed and sighed. Still nothing. He turned and looked me in the eyes.
"Mon baby I love you so much I really do but I don't know how to say this so I'm going to blurt it outI'm not in love with you anymore. I'm trying and trying but this counseling isn't helping my feelings. I'm in love with Alana. I think I want a divorce." Chandler said
I don't know what gotten over me but I jumped on him and started to attack him. I was screaming and punching him like he was a bitch on the street. It took three security guards to get me off of him and two more to help guild him out of the office.
"I WONT LET THAT BITCH HAVE YOU!!! HOW COULD YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO ME? Are you serious you're in love with her?" I asked walking towards him with the security right on my ass.
"I'm sorry Mon I'm really am but I'll get my stuff and we'll work our coparenting out. But it's over." He took his ring off and sat in on the table near the door. "I tried I really did but you can't seem to move on and I'm over it. I'm not saying I'm going to be with her but right now we need time apart. I'm sorry but it's over."
And just like that he walked out the door like nothing never happened. I watched as he went to the elevator and called Alana.
"Hey so I know I just got back home but can I stay with you for a bit?... yeah it's over... yeah.." was all I heard before he left to get on the elevator.
I cried and cried in the hall of the office. I couldn't believe this shit! He really left me for our god daughter. I can't believe this shit he left me he really left me.
"I'm sorry that it happened this way. Maybe it's best you let him see if the grass is greener on the other side" Dr. Johnson said.
"It'll be a cold day in hell before I let that happen." I said before exiting the building and getting in an Uber to go home.
When I got home I saw Chandler's car in the driveway. I walked in the house and went to our room and saw him packing.
"So this is really it huh? 20 years out the window for some hoe!" I said
"She's not a hoe she's the mother of my child and you need to stop disrespecting her." Chandler said while getting all his stuff out of the bathroom.
I was going to respond when Zara and Serena walked into our room.
"Dad, why are you packing?" Zara asked
"Me and your mother are getting a divorce"
"No. Tell them the real reason you're leaving?" I said
"It's because of Alana isn't it? She's the reason you're leaving! I can't believe it she's breaking up our family!!!!" Serena yelled
"No she's not. Me and your mother had problems way before her. I need y'all to stop blaming Alana and point the finger to me I'm the one that decided to leave. I love your mom but I'm in love with Alana."
"Seriously even after I told her to leave she still found a way into your heart." Zara said
"What do you mean ask her to leave" Chandler and I asked
"I told Alana she needed to go so y'all could be happy but I knew deep down that dad was in love with her. I'm sorry mom but maybe this is for the best. I forgave Alana and I think it's time for everyone to move on with their lives. Dad if you want to be with Alana just go and be happy" Zara said surprising the fuck out of me.
"Thank you I will." Chandler said kissing Zara on the forehead. "Again we will work this out. We will find a way to coparent drama free"
I felt like I was in a dream.
"Mon, Mon, Monica baby.. Mariah is hungry and I'm sorry that I lied about seeing Alana. I'll make it up to you" chandler said waking me up from my nap.
Whew some dream it felt all too real.
"It's okay baby. I know y'all have to see each other but i don't want it to be a secret I can handle it I swear."
He kissed me and we laid up cuddling for the rest of the night..