Loving him is so wrong!

Chapter 41

Alana
"ALANA HE KNOWS, He knows what happened between you and Levi. I heard him and my mom talking about it. He's coming home he's pissed Call the police!" Zara screamed in the phone. I was still half sleep so most of the things she was saying didn't register yet.
"What?"
"I said MY DAD KNOWS! You better think fast get Levi on board of a lie!"
I jumped out of the bed and quickly started to text Levi on my iPad and told him to watch out for Chandler he might be on a rampage.
"Shit shit shit!" I said as I started to feel myself cry.
I knew something like this was going to happened. And how the fuck did Monica know what happened? I didn't want anyone to find out because I wanted to make everything work with Chandler. I felt so guilty that I couldn't even get myself to have sex with him until I felt like I didn't have any bit of Levi on me. I gotta lie, I don't want him to go crazy but I already knew that's what he was going to do. I was walking back and forth thinking of my next move when I heard keys jingling.
"He's hungry" Chandler said as he walked back out of the house. Shit he's angry at me think Alana you gotta think. Shit just act normal. I walked outside and not even five minutes later he was yelling at me so I stormed back inside and just called Zara.
"Yeah he's pissed off. I don't know what to do." I said crying
"Girl he's my dad and all but you need to call the police. He's going to seriously hurt you again one day. I love him but oh my god you know how he is." Zara said
"I'm not doing that. I'll just talk to him."
"Seriously! you did the same thing with Derek, he hit you and you constantly forgave him until he finally dumped you! You deserve better and you know that." Zara said as she reminded me about Derek. Derek was my first boyfriend who I loved with all my heart but he liked to manipulate and then hit me. He would never hit me anywhere you could see but I would have bruises all over my stomach that made it hard for me to move. One say he finally left me and that sent me into a depressive state and that's how I ended up with Chandler. The only person I ever told about Derek was Zara and she wanted to kill him once she found out but I told her to let it be.
I rolled my eyes at the memories and was going to say something when Chandler walked through the door.
"Get off the phone. Please"
"Oh now you wanna talk to me! Anyways... like i was say-"  I was caught off by Chandler throwing my phone across the room.
"Are you fucking insane! why would you do that?"
"Did you do it?" Chandler yelled
"I don't know what you're talking about" I yelled at him as I started walking from him. The more I walked away from him the more he would come closer to me.
"You scared?" Chandler asked
"Stop it. Calm down please." I begged
"I AM FUCKING CALM!!" Chandler said as he punched a hole into my wall. I was scrunched down on the floor crying and shaking. I couldn't do anything but just wait until he's done screaming.
"Chandler please! Don't wake Avery!"  I said as I got up from the floor.
I got up from the floor and ran towards my room and Chandler was right behind me. I felt him grab the back of my head then my throat as he slammed me down on the bed. He was squeezing the hell out of my throat. I was gasping for air and trying my best to get him to stop but he wasn't budging. He wasn't going to let go of me until Avery started crying. When he got off of me I started coughing and gasping for air while holding my neck. My head felt like it was going to explode and the air bubbles in my lung for gasping wasn't making me feel any better. I saw Chandler walk out of the house and I needed him to stay. I knew you he was going to want to go to Levi's place and hurt him too. I didn't want anything else happen to us. I need a drama free life. Running back into the house I quickly called Levi.
"What the fuck is happening he's on his way here?!" Levi yelled
"He knows! See I knew something like this was going to happen. You need to calm him down" i said coughing and clearing my throat
"Why is your voice hoarse? Did he hurt you?"
"No! Just calm him down please. Tell him it was a big understanding."
"Okay I got you. Sorry for the mess."
"It's fine! Also next time you go over to fuck Monica, take your phone with you." I said
Levi started laughing and then apologized again before hanging up the phone. Please please let him believe what ever lie Levi tells. I went into Avery's room to check up on him. He was laying in his bed and playing with the light toy that was attached to his bed. I went in there and picked him up and took him out to play on the floor.
"Hey baby boy. Please don't be like daddy be a lover not a fighter. Break the cycle" i said to him
Avery just looked up at me and started smiling and laughing. I laughed with him too and then got him up to get ready to eat. I sat Avery down in his high chair and was going to see if my phone works. I picked it up and saw that the screen was shattered and glass was all over the floor.
"Fuck me man. He's buying me a new phone." I said as I began sweeping up the glass.
"I already did."  Chandler said scaring the hell out of me. I turned and looked at him and saw that his eyes were red and puffy from crying. I just stood there not knowing what to do. I didn't know if he wanted to finish where he left off or if he wanted to talk. But all I know is that I wasn't moving or saying anything. Chandler walked up to me and gave me the phone then took Avery.
"I need to give him a bath."
"I'll do it."
"He needs to have some milk too."
"Pump it. I'll bathe him while you do that." Chandler said to me before walking into Avery's bathroom. Deciding not to argue with him I did what I was told and waited until he finished up with Avery. I sat down on the couch with my new phone in my hand and started to set it up while I waited on him.
"Give me the bottle." Chandler said
"Here." I said
I gave Chandler the bottle and he went into the nursery and locked the door behind. So I guess he doesn't want to talk. I wonder what Levi told him. I wanted to call him but I decided against it. I don't want Chandler to end up finding out about that. It's just best that we stay god child and god parent. I've crossed that line already and now I wish I didn't do that but it is what it is at this point. I got up off the couch and went into my room and got ready for bed. I got comfortable in bed and was out.
"You know my dad use to say to me and my brother growing up "if you want them to listen you discipline"."
I jumped up from my sleep from hearing Chandler's voice in my room. I didn't move though I just watched as he moved around the room and then sat down on the bed next to me. He nudged my leg and then he continued.
"You know my dad use to hit my mom from time and time. He didn't think we knew but we did." he said shocking me. I sat up and looked at him with my eyes wide.
"Really your dad was one of the sweetest man I've ever met." I said
"Yeah that's what he was in his old age he got soft. You know I always wondered if my mom was happy or if she was scared of my dad. Even though he hit her,he worshipped the ground she walked on. But he always wanted control he always needed control"He said while looking at me.
"Wooow. I didn't know."
"Yeah. You know I tried my best to not be like him but it happened. My mom always told me that I had my dad's rage and attitude. I used to hate that shit I'm not like him." Chandler said as he stood up.
I sat there and knew automatically that he was just like his dad if not a bit worse. He could have tried a little bit harder if he didn't I remember when he said he went to anger management a while ago but it didn't last.
"Well from what you're telling me you are like him." I said
"NO IM NOT! Shit Alana if you would just listen to me I wouldn't be like this."
"What do you mean I'm supposed to listen? Chandler i don't do anything wrong I'm living my life."
"You almost fucked Levi! Tell me about that day." Chandler said as he sat down in the bed.
"Okay well we flirted as you know then one day he came over looking for you but that was the day you were at the bar with my dad." I said
"Uhuh what else." Chandler said as he started to take off his shirt.
"Then we were flirting again and we kissed. Then I felt guilty and he felt guilty and we said to never do that again. Whatever Monica thinks she knows she doesn't know a fucking thing." I said
"He never told me y'all kissed. Well I'm sorry for you know everything." He said pointing at my neck.
"It's fine. Just don't hit me or touch me like that ever again. If you don't want to be your dad then get some help!" I said
"I promise I'll get help. Just don't leave me i swear I'll change." Chandler said he grabbed me and pulled me close to him and hugged me. I wrapped my arms around him and sighed. I love Chandler I do but I don't know how much more I can take. I'm tired of being hurt and then forgiving him.
"You know your dad told me that he wasn't going to forgive me at all that he was done with our friendship but you begged and begged him to stay friends with me. And he told me if I hit you again that he was going to kill me."
"Well. You did" i said looking at him
"I know can you please not tell him. I need him in my life he's been my best friend since we were kids. I can't imagine my life without him."
"Well you need to promised me that you won't touch me like that anymore."
"I'll try! Please don't tell." Chandler said as he began to kiss my neck and then he went back to my lips.
"I won't. I'm not going to say anything at all." I said
And I'm not going to say anything. I caused this drama and if it wasn't for me and trying to sleep through all my dad's friends none of this shit would have happened . This is all my fault and I'm going to own up to it all and move past this. But first let me call Zara and tell her all is well.
"Hello?"
"Ummm hey. Sorry I must have called you by mistake."I said into the phone. I looked at my phone and saw that it was definitely Zara's number.
"I- uhh - um yeah umm uh mmm I"
"Terrence why do you have Zara's phone?" I asked making Chandler grab my phone and putting it on speaker.
"I-I ummm can we talk about this face to face." Terrence said
WHAT. THE. FUCK.!