Stirb Nicht Vor Mir

Chapter 6

I got out of the car with Till and we sat down on a bench in a park while we ate our ice cream. 

"Thanks for buying that stuff for me," I said. 

"Oh," He looked at me. "You're welcome."

"I know buying tampons for your daughter isn't the best thing."

"I haven't done it before-at least I'll be prepared for Nele."

I chuckled. "Thanks for today though-it's been really fun."

"It has been. I've really wanted to see you."

"I always watched you and I always wished how you would be my dad, but I never actually thought-"

I looked straight ahead and saw a teen girl standing in front of us. 

"Excuse me?" She smiled. "Can I get a picture with you?"

Till got up from the bench and stood next to the girl. 

"Can you take our picture?" She asked. 

"Sure," I got up and took a picture with them. When I noticed Till wasn't smiling, I said, "Smile Till!"

He stuck his tongue out and that was when I took the picture. 

"Thank you!" She squealed, took the camera from me, and ran away. 

We sat back down and Till just stared at the girl talking to-what looked like-her mom. 

"I hate it when people do that!" He exclaimed. "We were in the middle of eating our fucking ice cream and she has the fucking audacity to-What's wrong?"

"What are you talking about?" I noticed trembling in my voice as I spoke. I then noticed that my leg was bouncing up and down. 

I then struggled to breathe, and I started to hyperventilate. I stood up and gasped for air, while Till was asking me what was wrong. I collapsed to the ground and scraped at the ground as I struggled to get air. 

"ADETTE!" He yelled and knelt down to my side trying to help me up.

"Don't hurt me!" I yelled while I was slowly starting to be able to breathe again. "Please don't hurt me."

He furrowed his eyebrows and helped me up. I don't know why, but I started to cry and I hugged him. I was thankful that he didn't get mad and start yelling at me for not being able to control myself. 

"Thank you," I said. 

"What's going on?" He asked. 

"Nothing," I backed away form him. "I'm sorry-that wasn't supposed to happen. I-I'm sorry and I-oh God here I go again and I-"

"Calm down," He spoke softly and grabbed my hands. "What happened?"

"Nothing, I just didn't want you to yell at me."

"Why would I yell at you?"

"I DON'T KNOW, OKAY?! GOD, WHY DO YOU KEEP ASKING QUESTIONS?!"

"It's already six...I think that we should get going."

"Fine by me!" I threw my ice cream away, got into Till's car and slammed the door shut. 

I didn't like how he was asking so many questions. I barely even know him, why would I go tell him all my shit? 

Before I knew it, we were at his house. I grabbed the clothes he got me and I rushed inside since the door was unlocked. I went into the living room and I saw my mom sitting there talking to Richard.

"Can we go now?" I asked all antsy.

"Why?" She asked. 

"Can I talk to you for a second?" I heard Till ask behind me. 

I turned around and said, "No."

"Thank God I wasn't talking to you, then," He said. "I want to talk to your mother about something."

"Sure," She got up and they walked away. 

"GODDAMMIT!" I threw the bag onto the couch and I brushed the hair out of my face. "I need to go to the fucking bathroom."

"It's over there," Richard pointed to the bathroom. 

"I know where it is!" I yelled. 

I grabbed the bag, went to the bathroom, and I opened up the tampon box. I used a tampon and I threw out my old one. I looked at myself in the mirror and I felt my throat start to strain. I turned on the sink all the way and I silently cried so that no one would hear. After a little, I stopped crying, turned off the sink, grabbed my bag, and I went out to the living room, but my mom and Till were not in there still. 

I sat down next to Richard and I apologized to him. 

"It's fine," He smiled. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Aren't you supposed to be babysitting?"

"She's fine watching the T.V.," He pointed to right next to him. 

"Ahh," I pointed to my temple. 

Just then, there was a knock on the front door. 

"Can you get that?" Richard asked. 

"Sure," I got up and opened the door to find Paul Landers standing there. "Whoa!"

"Hi," He chuckled and came inside. 

I shut the door and locked it behind him. We both walked back to the living room, and then Anja came downstairs. 

"Where's Till?!" She yelled. 

"Talking to my mom," I said. 

She scoffed and walked to Marie Louise. "Of course he is."

As I opened my mouth, Paul shook his head at me signaling me not to say anything. I rolled my eyes and turned around, and that was when a door opened. My mom was sitting down crying on a bed and Till came out with his eyes all red and puffy. 

"Come here," He beckoned me with his finger. 

"Me?" I asked. 

"Mhm," He turned around and walked back in the room. 

I turned to Richard. "Can you watch over my clothes?" I chuckled at what I just said. 

"Sure," He said. 

I walked into the room and Till shut the door, then locked it. 

"I know what happened," He said. 

I looked at my mom and she looked right back at me. We both promised each other we would never say what happened, but it came out and we didn't know whether it was for better or for worse.