Stirb Nicht Vor Mir

Chapter 49

I screamed a very short scream and I let go of Neil's hand. He looked at me and was crying very hard. 

"I love you, Adette and I-"

"DON'T GIVE ME THAT SHIT!" I sobbed. "I GAVE EVERYTHING JUST TO BE WITH YOU AND YOU'RE BREAKING UP WITH ME?!"

"Can we please get out of the car? The yelling is echoing."

I got out and slammed the car door shut. "NOW I CAN YELL MY FUCKING ASS OFF!"

"Adette-"

"WHY?! WHY, NEIL?!" I sobbed hard. "I LOVE YOU!"

"And I love you too!" He walked over to me. "But, listen, I can't-we can't be together anymore."

"Why not?!"

"Because I have to go to Canada and shoot a movie."

"We can make it work and-"

"That's what they all say and in the movies, it's not how it is," He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and started sobbing. "I don't want to, Adette. I really don't."

"Then don't! Tell them no! Stay with me, Neil!"

"I want to do this, though."

"Oh, so your fucking movie is more important than your girlfriend who loves you?! AND IT DOESN'T HELP THAT YOU KEPT PUSHING ME AWAY!"

"To make things easier."

"Yeah, easier for you," I cried into my elbow. 

"Easier for you so that you wouldn't get too attached."

"Oh, so now I'm possessive?!"

"Adette, stop it."

"I love you, Neil. I don't want you to go. I'll do anything, literally anything. I will kill someone if it means I get to stay with you."

"Come here, Adette," He pulled me into his arms and rubbed my back. 

"How long have you known?"

"A couple of months now," He sobbed. 

"Thanks for acting like everything was still alright."

"I didn't want things to be different between us."

"Who knows? Maybe once I'm done with the movie I could always come back and-"

"We both know that this is the end, Neil. God, not even two fucking years and you're already leaving."

"I'm sorry, Adette."

That made me cry harder. "I'm sorry!"

We both collapsed onto the ground and sobbed into each other's embrace. Finally, with one last look at him, I kissed him. 

"When do you leave, Neil?" I asked. 

"Two days," He replied. 

"You're going to stay with me, right?"

"Adette, we're-"

"We're not breaking up yet," I shook my head. "I refuse to break up with you until you leave."

"Okay."

We walked into my house and Neil locked his car. He laid down on my bed and I laid down on his chest. 

"How could you not be upset?" I asked while I rubbed his arm. 

"Do you know how many times I cried myself to sleep? I would always wait until you went to sleep and that is when I cried."