Stirb Nicht Vor Mir

Chapter 17

I woke up the next day and slowly opened my eyes. My body felt violated, and I could still feel them inside of me. I quickly ran to the bathroom, took off all of my clothes, and I examined my body. 

There were no marks, or bruises, or anything like that. I wanted to take a shower to get the feeling off of me, so I did. Once I got out, I wrapped a towel around myself, went into my room and I got dressed and that's when I noticed Neil was on the floor next to me. 

He then opened his eyes, looked at me, and stood up and hugged me. I couldn't hug him back and it wasn't his fault-it's just that I couldn't bring myself to do it. 

"I'm sorry about yesterday," I said and then I started to cry. "I wonder what would have happened if my mom went with me."

"What happened yesterday?" He asked as he let go of me and just rubbed my arms. 

"I got kidnapped," I tried not to reveal too much information. 

"Adette, that wasn't yesterday-that was five days ago. You have been missing for five days."

"No, it was yesterday."

"It wasn't."

"Oh."

"What exactly happened?"

I thought about what happened and I as I thought about it, I couldn't control myself and I started to scream and cry. Neil jumped back and I collapsed to the floor and I put my head in my hands. 

There was a bunch of foots running up the stairs and then my door slammed open. 

"Where is she?" I heard a male voice ask and then they said, "What happened?"

"I asked her what happened and she started screaming, and then she cried," Neil said. 

"Adette?" Someone asked.

I uncovered my face still crying and saw my dad kneeling down in front of me while my mom and Richard were standing to the side. 

Just then, my door slammed open and someone asked, "What happened?"

"You need to leave, Nele," Till told her. 

"I just want to see my sister!" She yelled and then slammed the door. 

"Come here," Till helped me up and hugged me, then rubbed my back. 

I let my arms fall to my side and I started hyperventilating. 

"I want this feeling to go away," I sobbed hard. "I want to be fine-I want to be happy and I was! IF I JUST DIDN'T GO TO THAT MOTHERFUCKING BATHROOM I WOULD HAVE BEEN FUCKING FINE! IF I WAS DEAD I WOULD HAVE BEEN FUCKING FINE!"

I then heard my mom gasp and then she grabbed me from Till and knelt down in front of me taking my hands in hers. "Don't die, okay? I know that you feel like there's no way out, but trust me on this: we will all help you, okay? We're here for you."

"You weren't there for me when I got taken," I pushed my mom away and I stomped down the stairs and looked at Nele. "Did you want to see me?"

"Yeah," She said. 

I opened up my arms, and she ran into them and gave me a hug. She let go and smiled at me. 

Once I made eye contact with Anja in the kitchen, I yelled, "FUCK YOU!"

I chuckled softly, and then I walked outside after putting my shoes on. I looked outside and the sun was shining. I ran out of the driveway and into the forest behind my house. I grabbed one of the trees and I started screaming as loud as I could. Not because of the emptiness I was feeling, but I was hoping that I could get those men out of me. I could still feel them-I could hear their laughs as they took advantage of me. 

I slid down the tree branch as if it was a wall and it scraped my back. I just cried and I prayed that something would happen so that I could die. 

I felt as if there was no way out-like I was trapped. I wanted to go back in time and stay with them and hold my pee in. I couldn't accept the fact that I was with them for five days. I wondered what they did to me while I was asleep. But what scared me the most is that I hadn't even seen them and they already ruined my life. 

I would never be the same again, and I just had to accept that.