Stirb Nicht Vor Mir

Chapter 18

"You need to eat," My mom told me. "You haven't eaten in three days."

"FINE, I'LL EAT!" I yelled, got up, and I ate a breakfast bar. "Happy now?"

She stared at me in disgust, but then it faded to sadness. "I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry."

"Where's Till and Richard?"

"They went out to the store."

"Okay."

"And Neil went to school."

"I know that."

I went up to my room and I sat down on my bed. I rubbed my legs and started rocking back and forth. My whole body was shaking and I was trying so hard not to think about that day, but I couldn't. It just kept coming back and each time, it wore me down more. I laid down and I shut my eyes hoping to have a peaceful sleep. 

I woke up to a soft voice saying, "Wake up."

I groaned, then turned and found that it was my dad. 

"Hey," He said. 

I turned back over and gripped my pillow. 

"I wanted to tell you that if you ever want to say what happened that we're ready to listen. And please don't think that we'll get mad at you, okay?"

I didn't say anything because I couldn't. But then I thought about telling them and the horror on their faces, so I started crying. 

"Hey, hey, come here," He picked me up and held me. 

"Aren't I too big for you?"

"You'll never be too big for me," He smiled. 

I leaned into him and I just cried. After a little, he set me down and we walked downstairs. There was a knock on the door and then Till opened it up-it was Neil. He ran to the kitchen and he kissed me. I flinched, and he started to apologize. 

Finally, I got sick of it. "No, don't be sorry. Stop treating me like this. I'm a grown person-I can handle this. You really want to know what happened? Fine, I'll tell you."

I took a deep breath and explained to them every single thing that happened down to the last detail all while closing my eyes. Once I got to the part where he performed oral sex on me, my mom lost it and started crying. I opened my eyes and I saw Richard hugging my mom and Till with shaking his head back and forth. 

I then looked to my side and I saw Neil was crying. He grabbed me, picked me up, and he hugged me. 

"I'm so sorry," He whispered back and forth. 

I wrapped my arms around his neck and I sobbed into the crook of his neck. He set me down and held my hand. 

"I'm sorry I've been so mad," I continued to cry. "I'm sorry I've been a bitch and not been talking at all."

"Don't you dare apologize!" My mother told me. "Don't you dare! You have every single right to feel like this."

She walked over to me and hugged me. "I'm here for you, okay? We're going to have you talk to someone and-"

"No!" I pushed her away. "Did you see how hard it was for me to tell you guys?! I'm not going to see a therapist and I'm not talking to anyone! I don't like talking about stuff and I-"

In the middle of me talking, Richard and Till made eye contact, nodded their heads and they ran out of the house. 

My mom gasped. "We need to get them!"

We ran out to the garage, but their car was already gone.