| S I X T Y - E I G H T |

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"Fred?" I asked. It was like 2am when I got woken up by a knock on my door. I sat up in my bed and saw he was standing at my door. I turned on my bedside lamp and I could now see little tears come down his face. "Are you okay? Come here."

He walked over to me and I pulled the blanket back. He got into the bed and I laid back and let him lay between my legs with face buried into my chest. ran my fingers through his messy ginger hair.

Then he started crying.

I kissed the top of his head and ran my fingers up and down his back, attempting to soothe him. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close to him. I bent my legs up to hive him more room.

"It's okay." I assured him in a soft voice and kissed his head. "It's okay." I repeated.

"I- I had- a- a nighmare." He sobbed into my chest. I began to play with his hair again and give him little kisses.

"It's okay to have a nightmare. They aren't real." I whispered. "They aren't real, it will never happen." It must've been a really bad dream because Fred never cries over this type of stuff.

He has had nightmares before in the middle of the night, but we would usually just talk. He would never shed a tear. His voice would never shake. I would usually be the one crying because of how bad the dream sounded.

"I- it was about you Bee. You died." He cried again.

"But I'm okay. I here. Whatever happened in that dream- it never happened." I reassured him. "I promise you."

He kept on crying, and it was killing me. Fred never shows emotion like this. Ever. Sure he would maybe cry a little from time to time, but only if I am hurt, and only if I am with him.

He has never come to me and just start crying. Like what I do. He is always the comforter. I am the cryer.

But now it was the other way around.

He was just crying on my chest. Holding me. I could feel a spot on my shirt get wet from his tears.

"It's okay." I mumbled.

"W- why do you want to leave me?" He asked and looked up at me.

"I don't want to leave you Freddie." I smiled. "Why would I ever want to leave you? You are the best thing that has ever happened in my life."

"But if you- died- I would be alone. I wouldn't be able to be with you anymore." He sobbed.

"I was being really selfish Fred. You have to understand that I wasn't thinking right. I would never, ever, leave you. But I was in so much pain. I wanted it to be done. I wanted it to be over. I thought I was doing it for the best." I whispered.

His breathing sped up and I could feel his heart beat grow fast.

Shit, he is having a panic attack.

"I was told that I was a waste of space and I would make everyone happy if I was gone. I listened to those people for some reason. I tried my hardest not to. I just wanted to make you happy." I continued.

"You wouldn't make me happy. You wouldn't make anyone happy. You would make everyone sad." He mumbled.

"I'm understanding that now." I said faintly. I kept on stroking his back with one hand and playing with the bottom of his hair with the other.

"D- did you really want to die?" He asked.

"Y- yes." I didn't want to lie to him. I have done enough lying for a life time. Fred still let little sobs escape his mouth. "But I don't now." I added. "I really don't. I'm getting better now. Ellie is helping me. And so is Lee, Leo, George, Taylor, Kalen and Draco. They are all helping me."

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