Jikook oneshots

160. drunk in love🥃

Author: orphan_account

Summary:

Vodka-and-soju-induced Jungkook is not good at flirting.

(Unless you count really bad pick-up lines.)

Notes:

For pastelrainbows.
for leaving such kind comments ♡♡ they make me so happy TuT

also for "Turn Around Already" which just hit 2.4K TTwTT GROUP HUG tyg for reading, and I'm celebrating this w more jeonlous :))

I strongly encourage you to search up "drunk sheldon cooper" and imagine drunk tae & kooks like that :))

Work Text:

Essentially, Jungkook blames it all on Kim Taehyung.

He has three major reasons for this:

Taehyung dragged Jungkook to this damned party, completely against Jungkook's will -- the guy doesn't look it, but he has one hell of a vice grip.
Taehyung was the one who then got Jungkoook drunk off of his ass (simultaneously downing two shots of that delicious combo of vodka and soju was a very, very stupid dare that Jungkook should not have taken).
Most importantly, Taehyung was the one who invited Park Jimin, too, and let him sit next to someone else.
The goddamn audacity of Kim Taehyung.

And said audacious person is even more so when he saunters over to Jungkook's left, beholding a lopsided quirk of his lips and an impressibly near-incoherent slur. Jungkook can make out Taehyung's steps to be wobbly even in his hazy peripheral, his heartbeat pulsing from behind what feels like his eyes -- he doesn't know if that's supposed to happen, but the saturation of the world just kicked up by twelve percent, and he thinks that he might just have a famous deity flash over the view he's been glaring at. Jungkook tries to swat at it, and nearly falls.

"Jungkook," Taehyung's voice comes in a half-whisper, and Jungkook nearly jumps out of his skin. One of Taehyung's eyes is half-lidded, as if he's sleepy. "You're staring." Taehyung groggily jerks his head toward the direction that Jungkook has, indeed, been staring in, about as subtle as the fire that's been stuck in Jungkook's steely gaze.

A scowl blossoms on Jungkook's face at Taehyung's words, and his eyes narrow at the sight again. "I'm.. I'm gonna - hic - gonna legally vouch against - hic - this!" He whisper-shouts, slurring as well, turning his head to Taehyung for sympathy. Taehyung nods comppasionately with a slight pout, proceeding to stroke Jungkook's dark head of hair with sage that's our Jimin for you and he's so out of your league's.

Under most circumstances Jungkook would beat Taehyung to a pulp for this, but he's drunk and sad and Taehyung can seriously pursue a career in hand modeling or massaging, because holy shit, that's calming. Jungkook's emotional spikes deflate, even if his eyes are still glued.

Jungkook doesn't seem to notice the thud of Taehyung swooning over a nonexistent thing and falling to the floor on the side of his face -- all he notices is Park Jimink situated on the couch at the other side of the room, wearing a particular pair of jeans and a denim jacket that make him god-sent (which is completely unfair) and swinging a cocktail in his hand next to someone who is not Jeon Jungkook.

Jungkook huffs. Taehyung allowed that. "What a terrible wingman," he mutters. "Hic."

Right on cue Taehyung pops back up from his fall like a daisy -- with his blonde hair and brightness, the similarity is blinding -- blubbering."Ah-oo!" He shouts and starts to sway back and forth like he sees the shadows and dim lights as a meadow of green grass and sunflowers serenading him in a Teletubbie song. The real song playing is some bouncy, hard-core pop music from the radio. "Don't be so- so uptight, Jungkook. Have fun, enjoy the alcohol." Taehyung waves his hands towards his face as if he wants to waft intoxication towards himself.