A Recipe for Diaster (Harry Potter Fanfic)

9

"You know best behavior includes me not having to drag your heavy self up these darn stairs," Hermione growled while she pushed against his back till they reached the landing of the stairs. 

"I am starting to think this isn't worth just getting boobs flashes at me. It should be worth more. And I don't weigh that much." Scabior pouted. Hermione rolled her eyes. 

"Quit whining. And yes you do." Hermione told him as she lightly knocked on the door. Within a minute, the doors seemed to open on their own. Hermione was a bit curious as to what was happening when a light, quiet voice entered her ears. 

"Master Scabior has returned home after so many long years," Hermione glanced down to see a house-elf in a blue dress walking towards him. 

"Hello, Winky. It's good to see you again." Scabior replied as he reached down and shook her hand. Hermione couldn't help but lightly nudged him with her shoulder. 

"Told you someone misses you." She told him. He gave her a light death glare. 

"It's Miss Hermione Granger," Winky gasped, "to what do the House of Scabior owe this pleasure." 

"I have come with Scabior for the funeral of his parents." Hermione explained to Winky. Winky nodded her head.

"Then you come just in time. The funeral is set for today in the evening. Come in, come in" Winky told her while opening the door wider for them. Hermione narrowed her eyes. Why would the funeral be set so early? she pondered. She shook her head, thinking maybe they wanted to get this horrible event over and done with as soon as possible.  They walked through the door way as Hermione took in the house. It was dark and depressing and empty of any sign of color. It almost seemed cold to Hermione. She was just about to ask Scabior if his home had always been like this when an older woman walked down the hall. 

"Winky, who is at the..." the woman started when her eyes landed on them. Scabior seemed almost to freeze where he stood. 

"Hello, Grandma Rose." He mumbled. For a moment, they all stood there until Rose's eyes started to have tears in her eyes and she she came rushing towards Scabior. Scabior flinched, probably ready to get smacked around or something. Instead, Rose wrapped her arms around his waist and started balling her eyes out. 

"Where have you been!?!?!?! We've been worried sick about you! We didn't know what became of you after the war ended! We didn't know if you were in Azkaban or.. or on the run or... or worse dead! Why didn't you write?" Rose babbled on while she wiped her tears on his jacket. Scabior lightly hugged her back and gently patted her head. 

"I wanted to write, I swear I did, but..." he started when another woman come through another doorway. 

"What in hell is going..." She started when her eyes widened when she saw Scabior. 

"Hi, Grandma Blanche." Scabior mumbled. Blanche shook her head, glaring heavily at him. 

"Sebastion Antioch Scabior! I ought to smack you! You had us worried sick! You didn't call! You didn't write! We thought the worse happened to you. Especially when we found out you joined that bastard, the Dark Lord." Blanche screamed at him. Rose then let as she began to glare at him. 

"Yeah, why did you join him? You're almost close to being a Muggle-Born yourself and I know that you ended up in Slytherin and all but I taught you how to be kind and caring like a Hufflepuff!" Rose stated. Scabior opened his mouth to speak when another older woman walked in. 

"What is with all the yelling?" she asked until she saw Scabior standing. 

"Hi Grandma Dorothy," he whispered. 

"You have a lot of explaining young man," she growled while storming towards him, "Why the hell didn't you write? Why didn't you come home? Did you think you couldn't come back here to get help or something? We are your family, young man! We look out for each other! Now why didn't you come back?" 

Scabior tried to talk when another older woman walked in clinging to her purse, almost seemed to not notice the chaos going on. 

"Hello, Grandma Sophia." Scabior called. For a moment, she didn't seem to care about his presence. Then she walked up to him. Suddenly his head swung to the side when she surprised them with her slapping him. 

"What was that for?" Scabior asked, clinging his cheek. 

"That's for killing that kid when you were at Hogwarts right after I had taught you some damn defense and attacking spells that you should have used instead of that curse." she stated before slapping him again. 

"What was that for?" 

"That is for joining the Dark Lord and selling people to the Ministry to die just for a small coin purse." she growled before slapping him again. 

"What was that for?" 

"That was for not writing to us. What are we chopped liver? You couldn't find a piece of parchment? Or a quill? A pen? Hell, I wouldn't mind if you had to write it with a stick and mud!" she asked, shaking her head. Scabior lightly patted Sophia's shoulders. 

"I'm sorry for not writing to you guys or coming home... but to be honest I thought you all would be relieved that I wasn't in your lives anymore." Scabior admitted. 

"Relieved?" Rose cried out, "You're our Grandson! You're part of our family. You might have screwed up big time, but it's never to late to get back on the right path." 

"Yeah, like right now that you're out of Azkaban? Where do you live? What are you doing right now?" Sophia asked. Scabior turned as he lightly reached out and pulled Hermione to his side. 

"I'm serving the rest of my sentence as a servant for the Golden Trio." Scabior answered. Everyone slowly turned to look at Hermione before Sophia tugged on Scabior's jacket, motioning for him to lower his head to her. 

"Here's the first step on the right path. Put a ring on her damn finger." Sophia ordered. Scabior lightly glared at her, feeling a light blush forming on his cheek he silently prayed Hermione didn't see. 

A/n: A couple of things, first, sorry for the long chapter, second I do not know if Sebastion Antioch is Scabior's real first and middle name. I just looked it up and that's what it said. Also I do not own the Golden Girls, they belong to their rightful owner. 

R.I.P. Bea Arthur, Rue McClanahan, and Estelle Getty. Thank you for being a friend.