When Trouble Comes Knocking!

Reflections P3

Disclaimer: I do not own the Clark Sisters.

Notes:

Karen goes back to listening to the songs that Kierra wrote and think about how her leaving had an affect on Kierra and their relationship as mother and daughter as she tries to come up with some solutions on how to solve a few of their own problems.

~We just gonna use "Reflections" because it fits with my storyline considering how "Reflections" came to be when Mariah talked about writing for the "Glitter" soundtrack. I actually meant to use it in the last story. But I forgot. So, I'm using it now and I'm so, glad I didn't use it for the last story because I think it fits this one in this chapter much better even though Karen is back. But let's just pretend that Auntie Twinkie taught Kierra how to play the piano/organ while, Karen was gone and her aunties took over with her learning how to sing as well as Drew having the replacement music ministry team teach her while, Karen was gone.

~(A bit of the music replacement teacher was mentioned in the last story as well).

~ Yes before anyone ask, I am a Lamb but we not gonna get into it about this album because I can go on a whole entire rant. But I'm a shut up and try to refrain from doing so. 😭

But please listen to the songs because it really does fit the background of how Kierra felt. I wouldn't say that Reflections was the inspiration for this chapter because I already had it written. But it just fit right into it when I was searching for the perfect song.

~ I'll tell y'all when to play the song if you haven't already.

So, back to the story.

TW: Mentions of self-harm, depression, and suicide.

After Karen was done with her writing for music therapy she closed her journal tapping her fingers as she played with her hair on the couch. Her mind wondered off to the songs that Kierra had written so, far no one has said anything about it when she asked as she only got shrugs and no's from everyone including, Drew, her sisters, and Mama Sheard if they knew that Kierra wrote and didn't tell her? So, putting that to rest she thought it would just be best if she would ask her daughter on her own time when she wasn't doing anything. But while Ki was over at Shamika's house, Karen went straight back to her daughter's closet pulling out the songs that she found going back to her room.

Karen bit her lip as she looked at the old songs once again as she found the CD which had the demo versions of the songs putting it into the CD player to listen to them. She sat on her bed with her legs crossed with her hand over her mouth not knowing what to think as the song played on through her earphones.

(Play song if you haven't already).

When the song started she noticed how beautiful the melody was as the intro of the song started. When the words started she realized that with her leaving it had a worser affect on Kierra than if she had stayed. But if she had stayed she would've been emotionally unavailable to her kids and she didn't want that not after she had postpartum depression after she had given birth to Kierra. And she literally had to force herself to stay and put on a smiley face for her and for everyone else. It was draining having to do that once and she didn't want to have to do it again with Ki being at the age where she would've remembered her worst moments with her mom.

Karen thought back to when she had made her first suicide attempt. Now, this was when she had completely, stopped paying attention to Kierra ignoring her while she let, Mama Sheard take J.Drew knowing that it would've been better for him to stay there.

While she sat and listened to the song on her bed she felt horrible for not being there for her daughter when Ki needed her. But how could, Karen have been there for her if she wasn't even there for herself? She felt horrible enough as it was already for leaving. In Karen's mind, she thought that maybe if her kids stopped needing and wanting her they wouldn't miss her when she was gone if the attempts would've been successful. But the whole entire time when Ki was around 5 she still drew pictures and gave her mother love and affection hoping it would make her feel better not understanding what was going on as her mother continued to ignore her.