Demon Chronicles Book 1 The Parallel Frontier Of Reality

The Classic Cliché Death Story: You See... He died in a Car Crash!

Jake Velasquez

"He died, quite lamely you see. He tripped on a plate of spaghetti, cheese, and sauce that was on the floor then flew out of his window, and then from that free-fall he hit a car that crashed into him as he landed in the middle of the road in a daze. So, as you see he died. It was a car crash. It happened yesterday. Your Grandpa Darius, former son of Vel is no more" Ramiro Velazquez spoke to his son Jake with a grimace as he clenched his side in anguish.

My father sucks at acting. He will mess up. There is no way my gramps could die in the most idiotic way possible. What is this, the beginning of Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling. Jake thought quite snidely.

"Oh, now? Was it a real car crash or something else like um I don't know, maybe it was an electrical explosion that happened like that one time he put a metal fork in the microwave?" Jake spoke back to his father in a very crass tone.

"Oh yeah that's what it was, it was really the fact that the spaghetti, cheese and sauce was in the car and he was driving and eating at the same time. Yeah, I'm remembering it like it was yesterday. Grandpa Darius was just minding his own business while driving and eating, he ran a purple light because they changed the light bulbs in the traffic lights and for some reason that was really a red light. So, while driving he drove straight into a giant industrial microwave and then not one, but two other cars somehow closed the microwave door and turned it on. He was vaporized and the whole building exploded. It was all over the news I tell you. I was watching TV at the time with this bartender at Stop Rocks Bar for the Inept and failures who can't hold jobs, so they drink here. And that's all I have to say about that but one more thing that I want to say is that Life is like a box of chocolates so get out there and make some lemonade."

"Oh, really now? like anyone actually died." Jake said derisively with spittle dripping from my lip. I'm not falling for it. This has got to be one of the dumbest stories I've ever heard. It's like one colossal failure.

"Egad you've seen through my lie. What cunning ingenuity you have. Well then I might as well tell you the truth." Ramiro wiped his face after the spit he shot out already landed on Jake's mouth.

Disgusting, my Dad is the worst "Liar" and "Thespian" in all the worlds, and in all the many realities. Jake thought in a depressed manner.

"You better tell me the truth or I'm going to find out what really happened myself with my trusty handy, dandy smartphone" Jake spouted back with a retort.

"Fine, Fine, the truth is that he has fallen into depravity because of a side effect of my brother, your uncle Vladimir's magic. It seems that he wanted to pull a prank on grandpa Darius by fusing him with this weird human teenager Donatello Raymond. I haven't the foggiest idea who this boy is. Anyhow this fusion lasted about twenty-four hours. Grandpa Darius ended up falling in depravity and Donnie Raymond became a Half Legendary frosty-neon-yellow Dragonoid that is very similar to Darius's old form of the Great Golden Dragonoid. Now your cousin Eliza and my sister, your Aunt Lyla, are coming over to discuss his living will"

For once in my life I hope that this is a lie. I hate my cousin now because of what happened with Donatello "Donnie" Raymond over the summer. I know about him of course but I wasn't going to talk about him unless I had to.

"I hope that you're nice to your cousin this time, you're both the same age so I don't get why you're both not close anymore. You were both inseparable this past year. Eliza and Aunt Lyla are waiting for us at the front of the house so be kind and caring to them." Ramiro, Jake's father, said as he started to walk out of the den and into the entryway of their home.