192. Finale

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Xie Zhi was angry and wanted to explain but was helpless because the old lady wouldn't listen to him.

Qin Ying held the old woman's hand and called out, "Mom" softly. Only then did the old woman calmed down.

"Mom can you sit down and tell me a story?"

"Okay, okay. Let's stay away from this bastard. Let's talk over there. "

"Hey, look at this, the diary of your mother before she died. If you really want to understand her, look at it and you'll understand everything."

"Take the medicine first and then play with Ying ying okay?"

The old lady looked at qin /ying, smiled and nodded. He took her to the back room.

"Sorry, she rarely does this. It's the first time she recognize others."

When he passed by Xie zhi, he said. "She has to sleep for several hours after taking the medicine. If you have something to do take the diary. It's your mother's. it doesn't matter if you take it away."

 "Uncle.."

The man seemed not to expect him to him and his body froze in place and said solemnly. "If Yingying is here, she would be happy that you called me that but I haven't cared about you these years and I won't hate you even if you don't call me that. Remember to close the door when you go out."

They left and Qin Ying drove on the way back.

Xie Zhi had been sitting in the co-pilot silently looking at the diary before his mother's death.

Suddenly he spoke in a deep voice. "Qin Ying what should I do? I seemed to have wronged her."

Qin Ying stopped on the road and asked. "What's wrong?"

"You see."

He got out of the car and lit a cigarette. She looked at the diary in her hand. The handriting as chic and beautiful.

[Dear Child, 

Mother doesn't know if you will be a boy or a girl. But mother hopes you will be a boy so that you can look after your grandmother and uncle when you grow up.

I'm sorry child. Mother is too selfish.She knows that her days are running out but she insists on bringing you into this world.

Mom hopes that you will have the opportunity to see the world, how wonderful and beautiful it is and how worthy of nostalgia it is. 

Mom also hopes you can live on her behalf.

Child, mother went to the doctor today and the doctor said she needs to undergo chemotherapy, but there will be no way for you to be safe and healthy in my belly. Your grandma and uncle also know and I had a big fight with them. I am very sad. Why can't they undrrstand my love and expectation of you?

Anyway, I'm like this. Why can't I exchange my life for you?This is the most cost effective and worthwhile choice no matter how you look at it. I hope that one day your grandma and uncle can understand me and love you.]

[Child, mother is even weaker today and has no strength but I still ate a big bowl of rice and soup because mom knows you need nutrition and that you're hungry.]

[Child, mother may not have many days but mother wants to tell you that I love you very much. Mother will work hard to support you until you develop enough to survive. Mother.. must be able to last until that time.]

[Child, mother may not be able to hold on anymore. Mother really wants to see how attractive you are before I go.]

[Child, I'm sorry. Mother may have to go first. The uncle doctor said that you you can already survive but you may need to stay in the hospital for awhile. Mom hopes that you will never need to feel what Mom feels right now. Mom only hopes that you'll feel joy and well, do what you want, love the people you want to love. Don't go against your heart.]

In the back of the diary, the handwriting became messy and even a lot of handwriting were soaked in water. It's not clear whether its tears or water. The prints are vague. 

She closed the diary and she no longer needs to read the others. She walked out of the car, stepped out to hug him.

"Don't worry, I'll spend more time with grandma when you're at school."

Xie Zhi put out the cigarette and hugged her back.

"Qin Ying"

"Okay?"

"Shall we get married?"

She looked at him.

"I want to have a home with you. A home which only belongs to us."

Qin Ying nodded.

"Well, let's go as soon as we get old, okay?"

"Okay."


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