Love everlasting - Avengers fanfic

The pain of saying goodbye

You sit patiently waiting back at the SSR facility. Howard was keeping you company reassuring you that everything was gonna be fine. Missions like this take time. You prayed dearly that he was right. Waiting for Steve's voice to linger through the speakers anytime soon. You had started to walk around in circles almost going mad, your head spinning.. Howard tries to calm you down but it was pointless. 

You couldn't lose him. However much you didn't want to admit it you were falling for him. He was the goodness you wanted to be. You never imagined you'd ever feel this way again. And at first, it felt so terribly wrong, like you were betraying the princes by letting your heart open up for another man. But just thinking about him made your heart skip a beat. You had just gotten love back in your life. And you were not about to lose it again.

Suddenly you hear his voice on the radio. "Come in this is captain Rogers do you read me?"

You rush back to the radio, pushing Howard away before he can answer. "Steve is that you?.. are you all right?" You ask worriedly.

"Y/n?.. Schmidt's dead" Steve announces. Your body finally relaxes.. he did it.

"You did it?" You say excitedly, you were embraced you ever doubted him.

"I did it y/n"

And just like that the air fills your lungs again, you've been drowning for the past few hours, and finally, you're up at the surface, feeling as the sunlight warms up your body.

"What about you?" You ask.

"I'm fine, really I'm okay" he assures you. Yet something seems off.

"What about the plane?" You keep asking him, you just want to hear his voice.

There's a long break before he answers. "That's a little bit more complicated" he sighs.

"Steve just give me your coordinates. I'll find a safe place for you to land" you say as you're ready to type them In.

"There's not gonna be a safe landing, but I can try to force it down" he explains.

You feel your heart racing... there must be something you can do. "Wait okay!" You plead. "I'll get Howard on the line he'll know exactly what to do.. just hang on," you say as you can feel yourself panic.

"There's not enough time.. this thing is moving way too fast... it's headed straight for New York" he explains. You can feel your heart sink into your chest. "I got to put her in the water" he sighs. He's already given up.

There's no way you're giving up now, you've just gotten your hope back.

"Please don't do this.. we have time" you plead. "We can work this out I promise you" you sob quietly as the realization hits you... there's nothing that can be done.

"I'm in the middle of nowhere.. if I wait any longer a lot of people will die," he says sadly. There's a moment of silence. None of you knows what to say you just stay on the radio. "Y/n this is my choice.. let me be the hero" his voice cracks. You close your eyes. Remembering the kiss you shared just hours prior. you should have kissed him earlier. Told him how much you cared for him, you could have had so much more time... you had only just kissed him.

He sets up his compass with a picture of you inside it, looking at it as he sends the plane down the water. You listen intensely. "Y/n?" He asks.

"I'm here Steve... I'm not going anywhere. Every step of the way right?" You sob.

"I'm gonna need a rain check on that dance okay?" He says softly.

"All right" you mutter.. as tears runs down your cheek. "Next Saturday, at the bar"