The Arrogant Jerk

CHAPTER 45

NNEKA GWENDALINE

 

“Babe, there is something I shout tell you.” that’s how this whole thing started off. The guilt was eating me up so bad and I knew that I had to come clean about what I had done. Chung is such a nice guy and he doesn’t deserve a hoe like me for a girlfriend. I admit what happened between me and the South African guy was a moment of weakness and it was very childish of me knowing very well that I had a man back home.

He looked up at me with a loving smile. My heart was beating fast, threating to escape its rib cage. I just hoped he couldn’t hear it. But how could he? Unless he was a vampire. Stop thinking about stupid things and get back to the task at hand. I reprimand myself. “Out with it, my love.” he turned to face me and I swallowed hard.

What I was about to do determines my whole life. I don’t know how Chung is going to react to these news. What if he beats me up or kills me? Or worse, what if he kills himself? But our relationship is not that deep. I try convincing myself but I don’t get far because I saw how deep our relationship was to him when he followed me across an ocean. I should’ve told any of my siblings about this so that they would know instantly if something bad happened to me but I didn’t want to stress them. Downside of being the deputy parent, the young ones can come to you when they are having problems but you can’t go to them. You have to appear strong and well-kept at all times. Fuck my life. Well it’s now or never.

“I am stupid.” I started off and he frowned. He was about to say something when I raised my hand to stop him. “I made a huge mistake. I did something terrible which might make you hate me and resent me for the rest of your life. I slept with a man. It was a once off. It didn’t mean anything but I hate what I did because it was not worth it. You love me, I have seen you prove it countless times but I did this shitty thing and never considered how you would feel if you were to find out. I know what I did is unforgettable and I know I wouldn’t like to be forced to forgive and forget if the roles were reversed. What I want you to know is that I love you so much and I am so sorry. I gave in to meaningless temptation and I know my actions are loud enough to end this relationship. When you’re ready, please find it in your heart to forgive me.” I sniffed and quickly wiped my tears when I was done speaking. I know he was waiting for me to say I am joking in the middle of my monologue but as he gauged my reaction, he knew this wasn’t a prank.

He stood up and took a few steps away from me, seemingly not trusting himself around me. “What are you saying to me?” I didn’t reply, instead I sobbed because I didn’t know how to respond. “No. stop it with the tears and answer me.”

“I am sorry, baby.” my voice was shaking. He shook his head.

“Don’t. Just don’t.” he said before picking up his rental car keys, wallet and phone.

“Babe, please don’t leave.” I quickly stood up and rushed to him.

“Don’t touch me.” his voice came out so sharp, I got startled and stepped back. He walked out and banged the door without looking back.

And here I am today, alone and miserable and still stuck inside the house even after 3 days Chung left me. I am worried about his wellbeing. What if something bad happened to him? But I quickly brush off that thought aside. Beside him being angry at me, he has sent me a text message every after four hours, notifying me that he is okay. My heart breaks even more because even when I have disappointed and angered him, he still cares about me and doesn’t want me worrying about him. And to think this all happened because of a Tsonga man who didn’t even bother calling me after fucking my brains out the whole night with his oversized dick. I have learned my lesson, shame.