The Arrogant Jerk

CHAPTER 49

After spending the night and morning with Makho, he drops me off at Zoe's house. I spent the night at his house and I had so much fun. We actually didn't have sex which is rare for us. We took some time, getting to know each other on a deeper level. We even played some games just to make the knowing each other better thing more fun. He told me what he used to do for fun when he was still in his teens. Who would've thought that the arrogant Makho would actually visit his friend in Tembisa just so he could play soccer in the street with him and his other friends? I guess he wasn't a snob growing up.

I didn’t know that he and his siblings studied overseas. It's one of the things they never brag about. Makho studied at Stanford while Wandy went to Guildford and Sande went to Harvard. I am sure if I were to have a child, he or she would study in one of the Ivy League schools. You would’ve thought that Mazwakhe also studied overseas but he actually went to University of Zululand for his LLB, did his Master's at UKZN and his PhD in UP. This family is filled with smart and hardworking people.

“What is Makho's favourite Zulu dish?” I ask Zoe and she laughs.
“You want to surprise him with a home cooked meal?” her response is a question and I roll my eyes. She laughs again. “Come on. It's just a question.”
“Yes. He has been doing a lot of surprises for me and I figured it's time I balance the equation.”

She snorts. “You will never balance the equation my love. Trust me, I gave up on my 2nd year of marriage. These men are always a step ahead when it comes to the spoils.”
“I can at least try.” She smiles.
“Yeah. Try.”
“Before you answer, what is umxabiso?” she frowns but there is an unmistaken amusement hidden on her face.

“What?”
“It's a dish that he said he is going to make me eat because I made him eat Beans Porridge which was very delicious by the way and made by yours truly.” She cracks up.

“Gosh, Chichi. I sometimes forget that you're not a South African. Anyways umgxabhiso, how can I put this in a way that you can understand? It's a stew but without the spices, curry powder, soup and what not. Basically you boil everything and eat it as it is.”
“Eww, how do you eat that? I'm sure it's tasteless.” She chuckles.

“It's really delicious. Mrs. Gumbi Snr who is my mother in law loves that dish. Over the first years of my marriage, I was taught how to perfect it. I will cook it for you one day.” I cringe visibly and she laughs. “Anyways, my son's favourite dish is usu with uphuthu. He also loves ulamthuthu when it's paired with idombolo.”

I am so confused right now. All my two years in South Africa, I have never heard or seen such. “What the fuck is that? You would have to teach me how to make it because wow.”

She chortles. “You are the worst daughter in law ever. When I am preparing one of these dishes, I will call you.” I nod. “But be warned, usu brings flies. It's automatic. Once you start cooking it, they miraculously appear from nowhere and there is no way you can control them, but you can try and lessen them by pouring vinegar and chopped onions in your pot.” I frown.

“You are confusing me more and more. Let’s just close this topic.” She laughs. “Did you hear that Dudu Busani Dube is releasing Hlomu The End this month?”
Her eyes pop out. “For real?” I nod. “I thought it was just rumours. I will have to ask Mazwakhe to get a copy for me as soon as it’s out.”

“Why not go get it yourself?”
“And what would he be doing? Judging people for a living instead of making sure his wife gets what she wants? No way.” I laugh.
“Maybe I will also ask Makho to get me a copy as soon as it’s released.”
“Cheers to us.” she raises her tea cup and we toast before laughing. We are such bullies, but it’s for the good cause, right? A call from Udoa comes in.

“Sorry, I have to take this.” she nods. I stand up and walk a few steps away from her before answering the call. “Nwanne. (Sister)”
“You have to come home as soon as possible.” she doesn’t even greet. There is noises in the background. What is going on? Did something bad happen to my parents or one of my siblings? Her tone is startling.
“Udoa, what’s going on?” she sighs and I hear movements. Soon, there is less noise in the background.

“Celine burned our brother with porridge and now he is in the hospital.” My first instinct tells me to laugh but I know this is not what Udoa needs right now. She is not one to be calm and handle situations like this in a right way. But I have to give it to Celine though, the girl has balls.
“Where is Celine right now?” I ask and I can feel that she is taken aback.

“Why are you asking me about that woman? Your brother is in the hospital for crying out loud, Chizoba. I have booked you a flight to Murtala Muhammed International Airport which leaves at 6pm in OR Tambo. Nneka will meet you at the airport. You will be there in time, right?” she asks but I know that’s a statement, not a question.

“Yeah, I will be there.” But I have work.
“Sharp.” She hangs up and I sigh. I am sure porridge doesn’t sting that much but I have to be there for moral support. Maybe I can finally see Celine and find out how she feels about all the drama Chia has brought in her life. I head back to Zoe who is smiling at her phone. She looks up at me and she seems to sense that something is wrong. She puts it down.

“Is everything okay?” she asks and I shake my head. I take the sit next to her and sigh.
“My brother’s wife poured hot porridge all over his body because he cheated on her and impregnated his mistress. Now I have to go home. My sister has booked a flight for me for this evening.”

“You don’t seem too stressed about this.”
I huff. “I have work tomorrow, remember? What am I going to say to Mr. Mncube? I don’t want him thinking that I am undermining my job just because I am dating his nephew.”
She rolls her eyes. “I know how to handle my brother.” She dials his number and he answers after the second ring.

“My beautiful sister.” she smiles.
“Hello my lovely brother. The one I love more than all of my siblings and any of the Mncube family members.”
He groans. “What do you want Zokuthula?”
She giggles. “Hawu, how could you say that? I am just showing you some love.”
“I know you, Zokuthula. So out with it.” She laughs, rolling her eyes.

“Chizoba has a family emergency she has to attend in Nigeria. Her brother had an incident with his wife, something you have been through, so she needs to go and see him.” something he has been through? Does that mean Mr. Mncube has cheated on his wife before and did she burn him with porridge?

“Noma engasale esehamba nelobola nje. (We can just give her lobola so that she can give it to her family on our behalf.)” Zoe cracks up. I wonder what Mr. Mncube is saying.

“Ngine sure ukuth umshana wakho uyofuna ukuziyela mathuba. Angeke abe nandaba noma angashayela ebheke khona. (I am sure that your nephew would want to go there himself. he wouldn’t even mind driving all the way there.)” They both laugh and I feel so left out.

“It’s fine, sisi. You can tell umakoti to take a week off but she has to submit a letter and a copy of her flight ticket as evidence that she was indeed home.”
“Thank you, I love you and bye.” She hangs up and turns to me. “That’s sorted. Do pass my regards to your mother. Tell her I will see her in December.” I smile.

“Will do. I have to go pack.” I stand up and we share a hug before I drive to my apartment. I text Makho about my sudden trip and he doesn’t respond. I guess he is busy with something.
I get to my apartment and pack a few clothes. I pack some books on an overnight bag. I have to come back with some of my books which are that side. Some are classics and some from local Nigerian authors. As I am packing my toiletries, I hear the door opening. I know my boyfriend who have no manners is here.

“Chizoba! Baby!” he calls out.
“I am in the bathroom.” Few moments later, he walks in. he looks so out of place. His dreads are all over the place.
“But I want to spend time with you.” he sulks. Ncoah, my 30 year old man is sulking because I am going home for a few days. This man is drunk in love shame. He knows he can’t say anything to stop me.

“I still have a few hours till my flight.” I smile apologetically at him and he sighs. “Don’t be sad, babe.” I place my hand on his cheek, caressing it and he breathes out loud. “You know I love you, right?” he nods. He looks like an innocent baby right now. Let me test him. “How about I plait your hair?”

“Hhaybo sthandwa sam.” He steps back and I laugh. I knew that would snap him out of his misery.