So Goddamn Happy (Duff/Axl)

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Duff hugged his pillow tight as he cried hard until it. The rest of the band was asleep and he didn't dare wake anyone up. His room was next to Axl's room. Everyone else was on the other side of the house. He had to be extra quiet since his bed was against the shared wall between his and Axl's room, and Axl's bed was just on the other side of that wall.

Axl laid there listening to Duff through the wall. He thought about going in there, but if Duff was anything like him, there was absolutely no way Duff wanted anybody to see him vulnerable. He didn't know what made the bassist cry almost every night. Sometimes Duff had an off day and went to bed early and passed out hard, but other days, Duff could have a good day and cry half the night until he passed out hard that way.

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Axl didn't bring it up the next morning. He wasn't sure if he ever should, but he was growing more concerned every day he hears pained cries and whimpers coming from the room next to him.

Axl kind of knew what it was like. To hide your emotions from the world because you're a man, not a kid or a girl. When he was a kid, when he was Bill Bailey, he learned how to hide the pain and torture his step-father caused. Then when Bill grew up, he left and rebelled and became Axl Rose. He wondered what demons floated around in Duff's head, if any. If it was something internal, or if he's just going through a bad breakup... a really long and drawn out break up.

Guns N Roses were hosting a party at the hell house that night. They called the Crüe, and with the Crüe usually meant girls, girls, girls. Izzy hit up some new guys on the strip, a Jersey band with a Canadian singer that could shake buildings with that scream.

Axl watched Duff from the other side of the room. He almost couldn't believe how much Duff was drinking. He was practically drowning in vodka and his eyes were so dilated from cocaine that you couldn't tell what color they were. He watched Duff pop some pills that seemed to calm the effects of cocaine, just for him to snort a few more lines. He'd never watch Duff so closely. He never noticed the amount of drugs and alcohol he could do.

It wasn't until early morning that people started leaving. Half of the Crüe left early, leaving the terror twins to raise hell. Izzy, Slash, and Steven were all ready to take some girls to bed.

Axl laid there with his ear pressed against the wall. He could hear Duff's bed squeak, was Axl the only one not bedding some girl? He felt awkward laying there, until he realized it was the same familiar sounds as before.

Duff curled up in the corner of his bed, clutching his pillow. His head flopped back and hit the wall.

"Make it stop..." Duff cried to himself. "Please!" He whispered. He could hardly breathe. He wasn't able to ground himself.

He accidentally let out a few loud cries, unable to stop himself at this point. He felt as if he was gonna pass out. He let out a startled cry when he heard a couple loud knocks on the other side of the shared wall.

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Axl got up out of bed when he realized his knocking scared Duff half to death. He softly knocked on Duff's bedroom door before opening it. Axl's heart nearly fell out of his ass when he saw Duff.

Duff had his face buried in his pillow as he sat up in the corner on his bed against the wall. He had his ears covered, letting muffled screams out into his pillow.

"Duff?" Axl spoke softly as he closed the door. "McKagan?" He moved closer, turning on a desk lamp.

"No... No!" Duff screamed.

"Duff it's me!" Axl said softly. "Open those eyes man, look at me" Axl sat on the very edge of Duff's bed.

"You're not real!" Duff shouted, still curled up and hiding in the corner.

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