Koruna

The Silence

Chapter 76
The Silence

Koruna sneaked into her room, she didn’t have the strength to face other members of the family. She had her bath and changed into an oversized sweater and laid down curled to her side, she heard the window open and a weight on the bed as she was enveloped into his arms. Koruna wasn’t afraid, she was sure that she didn’t even know what that meant anymore, Koruna didn’t stop him but relaxed instead. R’ao said nothing to her, he held her in his arms, after a while Koruna entwined her hand in his; Koruna did that to comfort him, she knew he was worried but she couldn’t do anything about it and neither did she want to do anything. She felt empty, for however this void might last, she would take it until she had to feel the pain.

Koruna didn’t think about Flora, she could not get the image of her neck spilling blood and no matter what she did, it was there at the back of her mind. Some might find it ridiculous that she held responsibility for her death but Koruna knew it was her fault, if she hadn’t been so stubborn about going to the boot camp, if she had killed Abriel when she had the chance, there were so many ifs but what can be done? She did nothing when it mattered and now the other closest person to her was dead and she couldn't do a thing about it.

Koruna had comforted herself in the past when Abriel died that Abriel went without her and so she couldn’t protect her. Flora was right there, within reach and she couldn’t do a thing. She felt a piercing pain in her chest, Koruna closed her eyes to take it in, she deserved every pain and misery.

Koruna didn’t want to cry, it would be wasted tears, she would hold on until every person responsible for her death was gone then she would allow herself to cry and maybe she would find forgiveness in that, Koruna hated herself at this very moment, she hated how powerless she was, how arrogant she had been, she had always been careful to draw the lines in her dealings in the past.

When she was younger, what she was afraid of was turning out like Jonathan, he was proud of her whenever she completed a mission, telling her how alike they and she made it a point in her life not to turn into a monster like him. Koruna was honest with herself, but she was also good at fooling herself when she tried and that was how she had managed this far without a lot of blood on her hands.

Koruna held R’ao’s hand tighter as she thought of Flora, she was the realist but she wasn’t always like that Koruna remembered. Their first job into the Elite zone, Flora had marveled at the tall buildings, the lights, the peace, the food they were privy to, Flora wanted to change Flames, she believed that if she made enough, the Flames could have access to the same privileges Elites had. Slowly, Koruna had seen the real world snuff out those dreams from her eyes.
Koruna had no big dreams, every day she lived was a blessing until recently. She had not noticed how much she had changed, it was funny how her life by extension had changed them also, and Koruna sat upright; R’ao standing with her.

Koruna smirked, “You don’t have to be jumpy, I will be fine.”

R’ao kissed her forehead instead, “I was sure you would kill Precious.”

“You didn’t stop me.”

“There was no reason to. What do you need from me? I am not good at this, I would take your pain if I could but I can’t.”

“Sweet.”

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Shut me out Kor… Don’t smile when I can see how empty your eyes are, I would rather you say nothing but lie just to make sure I am okay.”

“Oh… That.” Koruna brought out the flash from under her pillow. “You know about this then?”

“More or less.”