Cuddle Bug (Bucky x reader)

Journals

At supper time Tony seemed to like the idea of you and Bucky moving in together. He didn't have any qualms about it at all. He warned you he was soundproofing your room first regardless, just in case anything happened, and he would work on Bucky's second. He also told you the furniture in your room would easily be taken to your cabin once the renovations were over and done with. You were surprised that Tony had already thought that far ahead. He also announced that he had read your email already, and would be monitoring for when they finished. He wanted to go with you when you did your first walk through of your new home, while making it clear he expected you to stay at the compound permanently for now. You accepted that decision, since you had a tendency to get yourself into trouble, and didn't bother arguing it.
After supper everyone had the apple cobbler pies that you had made with Bucky, and they told you they wished they knew you knew how to cook a lot sooner. Sam finished his pie, and made excuses that he had something to do and quickly disappeared after the meal. You had a feeling Sarah had something to do with it.
"Come on doll, let's go back upstairs" Bucky whispered to you once the table was cleared. You followed him to his suite, having already decided that you would spend the next few days at his place. You had already brought over your makeup, toothbrush, hairbrush and clothes. Bucky had snuck over to your suite to bring back some of your boxes of tea, and honey that you preferred to have. When you got to his suite he quickly closed the door and went about making you some tea, and himself a hot chocolate in his small kitchenette. You took in the room for the third time, this time focusing on his books shelves. You saw a few shelves with mismatched notebooks lining it, and one of them looked pulled out recently.
"What's this?" you pointed to the shelf curiously.
"It's my memories" he frowned slightly. "When I first escaped from Hydra, I started writing everything down that I could remember. The longer I was away from them, the more I would remember. When I would have dreams about old missions or my old life, I write them down if I haven't before, or add on the extra details that I didn't have before. I've been away from them for almost ten years, and I'm still remembering things I wish I could forget" he admitted softly.
"You still do this?" you asked in surprise.
"I do, I don't want to forget who I am ever again, or how far I've come. I write in there about my day sometimes. Or the changes in my life. You were there quite a bit the last year. I've been meaning to do some updates the last few days, but I haven't had time since I've been in your suite so much lately" he continued to speak softly.
"Why do you think you'll forget?" you turned more towards him, wanting to know more.
"I'm just scared that I will, I guess. It's been good. Therapeutic. It also helps me right some of the wrongs I've made in the past" he came around the small table he had with his kitchenette with two chairs, and went to the shelf in front of you and pulled out the book that looked most recently used. Without batting an eye he handed you the book. "Read it" he offered.
"I can't just read your memories, Bucky. That seems invasive" you shook your head, holding the notebook in your hands.
"I want you to. I don't want to have secrets from you" he opened up the cover for you and you looked down. You licked your lips in anticipation, and moved to sit at his small table with the book on the table in front of you. Your eyes couldn't be pulled away from the pages if you tried. It was one of his memories of him as the winter soldier. You read about the mission and your eyes started to fill to the brim with tears and you looked up at him while he set your tea down in front of you.
"It's not all pretty," he admitted.
"How could they do that to you?!" you demanded.
"Hydra does a lot of things I can't explain" he frowned a bit. "Does this change anything between us?" he hesitated before asking.
"Not a thing at all" you reached out and held his hand. Your eyes drifted down to the pages again, and saw him detailing what it was like to wake up beside you everyday, and how much he loved it. He detailed how he had never felt in love like this before, and never wanted it to end. You flipped the page, and it was about how he only saw a future with you. How he wanted to take the next steps with you at one point. You felt your cheeks heat slightly, having a more inside look at Bucky's thought process. "I'm touched you trust me to read this" you closed the book and pushed it back towards him.
"I don't want us to have any secrets" he reached out and held your hand. "You can read all of them if you want," he offered. "A lot of it isn't pretty," he whispered softly.
"Life isn't pretty" you shrugged. "I still love you" you reassured him. "That's in your past, and thank goodness you escaped it"
"I wouldn't have if it wouldn't have been for Stevie" he gave a soft smile. "I owe that punk a lot"
"I owe him too, if it weren't for him life wouldn't have led me to you" you beamed at him, and his cheeks pinkened slightly. "We should see if he wants to come over and watch a movie" you suggested quickly.
"I wanted to spend the night with you" he pouted slightly.
"And you will, but he's your best friend and he's sitting over in his suite all alone" you stood up from the table and went around it to him. He pulled out his chair slightly, watching you closely. You sat gingerly on his lap and wrapped your arm around his shoulders. "Since we are moving in with one another, this is going to be my room too, right?" you asked softly.
"Of course, doll" his face broke out into a quick smile. "It's the bigger room of the two anyways" he added gently.
"And I can do what I want here?" you asked, leading him gently in the direction you wanted.
"Of course" he eagerly nodded.
"Then I want Steve here, he's your best friend" you gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and took your phone out of Bucky's pocket and a mischievous smile went across your face as you texted Steve "S.O.S" and you set it down on the table face down.
"That's never going to work" he chuckled and shook his head moments before his door flew open and a panicked looking Steve's eyes swept the room with a gun at the ready.
"Hi Stevie" you waved to him with a smile playing on your lips. Steve's entire body language suddenly relaxed as he saw the pair of you sitting at the small kitchen table. He slowly lowered his gun, and tucked it into the back of his pants and looked at you expectantly.
"I know that wasn't Bucky" Steve let out a soft chuckle.
"Did you want a cup of tea, or hot chocolate?" you asked, getting up from Bucky's lap and heading into the kitchenette to boil the water. Steve looked at Bucky who gave a gentle shrug and Steve gave a small smile.
"Hot chocolate" he came fully into the room and took a seat at the second chair you had previously vacated. You reached into the cupboard and quickly started making yourself at home getting to know where everything is, and made him a cup of hot chocolate and brought it over and put it in front of him before sitting on Bucky's lap again. His arm automatically wrapped around your waist as he held you close to his body. You picked up your mug and smiled at Steve and took a sip of your tea. "Why did you send me an SOS?" he finally asked.
"I wanted your attention. Bucky bear has been lonely without you, and I just can't have that" you gave a playful smile. Steve chuckled at the nickname and nodded, taking a drink of his hot chocolate.
"Next time just say to come over, it works the same way" Steve shook his head.
"And miss seeing you burst in here like your ass was on fire?" you giggled.
"I thought someone was trying to storm his room," he admitted.
"Our room" Bucky grinned in spite of himself. "She agreed to move in with me," he added with a proud smile.
"What's your book doing out?" Steve looked at the notebook on the table.
"He's updating it later" you gave an easy smile and took another sip of tea. "What do you boys like to do in the evening?"
"You mean, before you?" Bucky asked gently. "Because before you it was me pining over you, and trying not to show that to Sam"
"Well, now you have me" you squirmed slightly in his lap before leaning back against his chest and resting your head back on his shoulder.
"You can bring one of your new books and come and read in my room" Steve offered. "I'll turn on the record player, Bucky can update his journal, and I'll work on my art"
"Fantastic idea Captain" you stood up and drank back all of your tea. You got up and put the cup in the sink and quickly washed it before putting it on the drying rack. You grabbed Bucky's journal and looked at both men expectantly. Bucky gave a soft chuckle and drank back his drink at the same time as Steve, and they both just put their cups in the sink with water in them. Bucky stopped to grab a pen, and took his journal from you and you went to the bedroom to grab one of your books before following Steve back to his room.

Walking into Steve's suite was like walking into a different part of the building all together. You looked around at the painting filled walls, and different sketches that lay on each surface of the room. Steve gestured for you both to sit down, and Bucky was quick to grab the loveseat and pulled you down to sit beside him. You saw there was a sketchbook still open with pencils and erasers beside it that looked like Steve had been working on, his phone right beside it. Steve went into his room, you assumed to put away his gun and came back out to turn on the record player before sitting down in front of his sketchbook again. You opened your book, and found the music you were hearing reminded you of your childhood and you hummed to the soft music playing in the room. It was a bittersweet memory. Your grandparents used to play music like this before they had passed away, and you missed them dearly. They wouldn't have agreed to you being disowned so easily.

Steve went back to his drawing, while Bucky opened his journal and started writing. You sat back with your book and curled up slightly on the loveseat with your feet up under you while you started getting lost in the pages of your book.
"I'm surprised you know this music" Steve spoke up after a while of you humming to the music.
"My grandparents used to play the same music on their record player when I was a child" you admitted easily.
"Are they still around?" Bucky turned his attention to you and you shook your head.
"No, my grandfather went first in his sleep. My grandmother less than a year later from a broken heart" you shook your head. "I was ten at the time"
"I'm sorry" Bucky quickly looked like he regretted asking.
"It's okay. My grandparents are the ones that wanted me to follow my dreams and go into computers like I wanted to. I was always going to the library to use the computers and taking out books to read about them. My parents have a different idea of what a girl's dreams should be" you gave a soft sigh.
"Sam said there was no one to notify when you were taken..." Steve hesitated, and looked at Bucky who already knew the story.
"They disowned me because I didn't want to stay and get married. Raise babies. I wanted to do those things, but after I made a career in computers. I absolutely didn't want to marry my cheating high school sweetheart" you gave a look of disgust. "I was disowned the moment I went to college, but I never regretted it. I send them a Christmas card once every few years with my new phone number if they want to reach out. I'm not holding my breath" you shook your head.
"What if a fella wanted to marry you?" Bucky asked, a little curious.
"It better just be me that he's asking" you rolled your eyes. "It's been over ten years since I've seen them. We have nothing to do with one another"
"Do you miss them?" Steve asked gently.
"No" you finally answered after a long pause, really thinking about it. "My Aurora filled the need for companionship, and Sam has been like a brother to me that I never had. If anyone were to really ask, my family is all in this building" you gave a sincere smile. You looked down at the coffee table and saw that Bucky had finished with his journal entry, and he had closed his book and left the pen on top of the notebook. Your eyes traveled over to Steve's sketchbook and saw it was a drawing of you and Bucky sitting on the couch, with Bucky concentrating on his writing, and you reading. "Do you always draw what you see?"
"No, sometimes I don't. Tonight you two looked so relaxed I couldn't help it" Steve gave a smile. "I have a better one of the two of you" his eyes lit up as he started going back through his sketchbook. He stopped at a page where you were sitting on the couch under Bucky's arm and he was looking at you with love in his eyes, and you had a slight flush on your cheeks.
"I like that one," you smiled.
"Can I have a copy of that for my room?" Bucky asked quickly. "I'd like to put it up on the wall"
"Sure" Steve nodded. "I'll make a bigger version of it for you, and you can put it up"
"We would need a frame for it" you quickly decided.
"I have a few frames" Bucky gave an easy smile. "I bought some thinking I would put a few pictures up of us from our dates"
"I'd love that" you sighed happily and moved on the couch so you could lean against him. He quickly put his arm around your shoulders and pulled you in.