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THE TENDERNESS BEHIND THORNS
[Alternate Universe]

[ Note : Read Paragon Fading for clear skin. ]

It was depressing, and honestly a little infuriating.

How the loss of a loved one greatly affects this person who you consider a pillar of reliance. The same person whom you have unspoken admiration for.

I was irritated with how things are going and yet sympathetic... something that surprised even myself.

Sympathy was never really in my vocabulary since I did not need it growing up, ever.

A little bit of myself was instead enraged with me instead of the situation. After all, Seolwha was a close friend...  and for me to feel these hostile emotions... doesn't really make me a good friend to her.

It didn't take long before Yoo Jonghyuk becomes out of it.

Who wouldn't after experiencing such a traumatic circumstance? 

He becomes this person whom no one dared to approach, even Jihye and Hyunsung. He was even more ruthless... coldblooded.

He is a regressor.

He has this ability that instantly separates his level from the rest. A leverage that most people would want to obtain.

With this ability, he's basically a god-like existence roaming this world. I think not.

After dying, you return to the beginning... over and over. To me, it was a harsh curse cast by fate.

Never did it cross my mind that I would be able to raise my fist against Yoo Jonghyuk again, not after our first meeting on the train.

I found him one day near the edge of a cliff, with a sword pointed at his chest, it already tore through his clothes. Just as it was about to penetrate his skin, I released an arrow from my crossbow.

Albeit not having a great aim due to the rush, the arrow made up of ice hits the target, he dropped it and it fell into the cliff.

"Jonghyuk, what the hell do you think you're doing?" I said, walking towards him in panic. He doesn't have his sword but he could easily jump.

"It was the only way."

That panic, worry, concern, distress, any of that was replaced with agitation. And in a fit of rage, I punched him.

"You bastard," I muttered, lowering down my head trying to compose myself but to no avail. I looked up at him, "How can one person be this fucking selfish?"

"You want to kill yourself?" I asked, then laughed, "Huh?!" I gritted my teeth while creating an ice axe.

"Why don't you let me do the honors?" I swing the weapon toward his skull, and he caught my wrist, pulling it forward and stepping on the back of my knee.

I immediately got back up, "Hah, why'd you deflect it? I thought you wanna die!" I threw the axe in his direction and created two more.

"Why? Because you want to save her? Do you think you can? Alone?" I flung the two axes toward him, created more, and repeated the same action several times. 

"This is your flaw, Yoo Jonghyuk! You treat your life like turns, that it would be fine... there will be another chance. That you can just start over."

"This mentality is what fucking kills you. Can't you see that?!" I thrashed the axes to the ground, breathing heavily, forgetting that creating those consumes energy. 

"I understand your pain, but this is just sickening, to throw all this in the trash for your own want. How can you be sure that everything will go your way in your next turn?"

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