When we first noticed Y/N's reluctance to speak in certain social situations when she was younger, we weren't entirely sure what was going on or how to help her. But since becoming aware that it was due to selective mutism, we've managed to find other ways of communicating with her in those moments that are just too hard for her to verbally share her needs.
A common misconception of selective mutism is that it's simply autism, and that is not true. It's a whole other thing entirely, and is actually an anxiety disorder.
Y/N is perfectly capable of talking, but only in situations in which she is fully comfortable.
Her teachers in school would often get angry at her for not speaking when asked to, and for that reason we took her out of school. She's now been happily homeschooled for three years, but it hasn't solved the problem.
Her selective mutism is linked to her social anxiety, so whenever we go anywhere she isn't extremely familiar with or if we socialize with people she hasn't become accustomed to, she'll silence.
She even does it with me and Nat sometimes, on the days where her anxiety is absolutely skyrocketing. It isn't her choice, she wants to be able to talk to us and gets frustrated when she can't, it's just a panic response.
Some have said I should just read her mind in order to know what she's thinking instead of the other ways we communicate, but I couldn't do that to her. It's an invasion of her privacy.
Since today is a day where we've had a calm morning, our daughter has been perfectly verbal so far. Like right now, she won't stop talking about how badly she wants a cat.
"Come on, you guys," she pleads us, her hands interlinked as she begs profusely. "Us with a cat would be so cute."
Me and Nat start chuckling at her constant attempts to get us to agree, especially since I'm allergic to cats and Y/N knows that.
"Baby, your mom's allergic," Natasha reminds her, pulling her down so that she's in between us on our bed.
"Mom will live," she sasses, causing me to tickle her sides until she's wriggling about and asks me to stop.
"You're silly," I tell her and kiss her cheek lovingly before cuddling up to her. "Y/N, how are you feeling, my love?" I ask, wanting to check on her mental state like I try to do every morning.
"I'm okay," she shrugs, "Nervous for later," she then mumbles, her face falling into a frown as she starts biting the inside of her cheek.
Tony's having one of his infamous parties tonight, and Y/N isn't looking forward to it. We wouldn't be making her go but we're gonna be out for a long time and we don't want to leave her alone for longer than a few hours.
One of us always stays sober for gatherings, even if it's only small. One of us has to be on the look out for Y/N to make sure she's doing alright. This time it's my turn.
"That's understandable," Nat interjects, stroking Y/N's arm up and down. "Is there anything we can do to make it easier?"
In response, she shrugs. Nat and I look at each other at the same time, knowing that this is where her talking ends for now.
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So far, the party has consisted of drinking, talking, and even more drinking. Not for me, though. Y/N still hasn't spoken since earlier and that's completely okay.
I've taken her to a quieter place a few times to calm her down, and now I think she's wandered off with Nat somewhere.
Just as I've ended a conversation with Clint, my phone suddenly pings.
Y/N🤍🤍🤍
mom's being weird...
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I chuckle when I look over at the bar to see Nat being a drunken comedian, and walk over there to ensure that Y/N is feeling safe.
"Hi, babe," I greet her as Nat is having the time of her life pouring people drinks and making cocktails. "Do you want anything to eat, sweetheart?"
She shakes her head, grabbing onto my hand tightly.
"What about something to drink?" Again, declined.
"Hey, it's my favorite witch!" Sam says excitedly as he comes rushing over, making Y/N stumble backwards into me. I hold onto her tightly so that she knows she's safe. "And hello to you too, Y/N."
"... Did I say hello or was that in my head?" he asks in a confused manner, not understanding why I replied to his 'hello' and Y/N didn't.
"Don't worry about it, Sam," I tell him, knowing that my daughter doesn't like people knowing of her mutism.
Me and him continue to make conversation for a little while until Steve whisks him away and I take Y/N back into a quiet room.
"Are you okay, baby?" I question softly. She shakes her head. "Do you wanna go home?"
As if she's ashamed, she shyly nods.
"It's okay. I don't want you to be uncomfortable so if going home is what you need, it's okay. I promise. Let's go get your mama."
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i haven't had hands on experience with selective mutism, but i did my research and i hope this is accurate🤍
