wanda x daughter one shots

i don't wanna be awake

age: 15

for the people who have watched 'sorry for your loss', you'll probably recognize the title and the upcoming reference hahaha

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Y/N's POV

"Hey there, sunshine," mom's enthusiastic voice wakes me up from my slumber.

Eleven-thirty. That's the time my alarm clock reads. I was hoping to make it all day.

"Come on, sweetheart. It's time to get up and go see auntie Nat," she tells me, attempting to pull the duvet off my body.

"I don't have any pants on," I say, trying to make excuses for the fact that I don't want to get out of my bed.

"Your body literally came out of my vagina, do not talk to me about pants, come on," she demands, her tone more firm this time round.

I sigh heavily, trying my hardest not to cry.

"I don't wanna be awake," I whisper, holding onto my childhood teddy whilst desperately wishing that I could just fall back asleep.

Life is too hard to stay awake through. When I'm awake, my thoughts become too much. Everything hurts, and I just can't handle it.

That's why I sleep. I sleep to avoid my problems and it works like a charm. Mom just thinks that I've been extra tired lately, because that's all I've told her.

"Y/N... I need you talk to me," she says after a minute or two of silence. My mattress dips down beside me and that's when I turn around to see her laying beside me, her arms wide open for me to shuffle into.

Once I'm settled against her chest, I find it a hell of a lot harder to hold in all of my feelings. But I keep up the wall I've built around myself. Nothing will make me break.

"I'm here for you, sweetheart. I'm here so that I can help you with whatever you're trying to avoid. Don't think I don't know why you spend all day sleeping."

Except that.

"No. No, stop," I tell her, covering my ears with my hands and clenching my eyes shut. "Just let me sleep."

"Babylove... darling, hey," she says softly, just loud enough so I can hear her. "Y/N, you're crying, bubba. Bring your hands down."

Not even realizing that I started letting the tears fall, I take my hands off of my ears in shock and start frantically drying my eyes, trying so hard to block out the feeling.

"Hey, no, we're not doing that," mama interferes, grabbing my hands and holding them in hers. "You're not gonna block your feelings out. I know it hurts but you have to feel it. Just cry, Y/N. It's okay. It's okay to feel."

The more she tries to get me to allow myself to cry, the more I can feel it building up.

I just want to block it out. I don't want to feel this.

"Please no," I whimper, "Please just let me go to sleep."

"No, darling," she replies, staring at me sadly. "Come on. There you go," she says as she pulls me onto her lap and holds me tightly.

That's all it takes for me to break. Being held securely in my mama's arms as she reassures me that I'm allowed to be doing this.

"I've got you. I've got you, you're gonna be okay," she keeps repeating in my ear. "That's it, let it all out. Mommy's got you."

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fluff is something i'll never get bored of writing