It never rained in Texas.
Obviously that wasn't fully true but it was almost never rainy. If it rained here it was usually only for a little while.
Today it was pouring all day.
I think the sky was crying because we lost someone so amazing.
Colby was someone who was selfless and cared so much for the people he loved.
He was strong and sure of himself and could be a real nasty piece of shit when he wanted to be.
He was the love of my life though.
Someone who would do anything to keep me safe, someone who would protect my siblings as if they were his own.
That bravery was what got him killed.
It was hard to breathe today, knowing that we were going to be officially laying him to rest. I didn't know what everyone put together for today, since I refused to be a part of the planning.
I assumed it would be small and personal, since there was no body and since all of the people he loved and cared about were already in this house.
No matter what we did, it was going to be a hard day.
"Jules.." Sam said as I laid in bed, covering my whole body with the blankets. I had been hiding in my room all day, not wanting to face the reality that was today.
"No." I whispered as he sighed and came over to sit on the bed with me. "I know it's hard but everything is all set up." He said as I started to cry again. "I know. I know it's hard." He said as he pulled the covers back.
"I can't do it, Sam. I can't." I whimpered as he pulled me in for a hug. He didn't say anything as he hugged me tightly, scratching my back.
I knew this was hard for him, but it was admirable that he was taking care of me and helping me through it.
"I know it's hard to say goodbye, but try to think of it as a celebration of his life. That's what he would want." He said as I nodded.
I knew he was right. I needed to try and heal from this, even though it seemed impossible.
"I gotta get dressed." I said with a sniffle as he nodded. "We'll be ready whenever you're ready." Sam said then stood up.
"Okay." I said then got out of bed. I was feeling kinda sick from the pregnancy but also because I knew what was going to happen today.
I was going to break and fall apart, and I wasn't ready for that.
I knew that today was possibly going to be the hardest part of all of this, but that meant that after today it would be easier.
I ended up taking a shower since I needed to refresh myself before facing everyone. Once I was showered I dried and curled my hair. I didn't want to do any make up since I was just going to cry it off.
Plus, Colby always said I was beautiful without makeup.
When I walked into the closet I was overwhelmed, looking at all of Colby's clothes.
I knew I would have to sort through them eventually but I didn't see that happening any time soon.
I sighed then reached for a plain black dress. When I put it on, I smoothed the fabric over my baby bump.
I wasn't popping out too much, but it was enough for someone to think I was pregnant.
I frowned then put on some black boots before making my way downstairs.
