The next couple days were boring to say the least since we were waiting to hear if we got the house or not.
It was nerve wrecking considering the kids were really getting antsy and I just wanted them to move into their new home.
Not to mention there was the fear that someone would literally try to hurt or take them if we left the safety of the office.
Colby has been going with Sam to scope things out and work on a couple jobs.
I wasn't the most excited about him being thrown into danger again but I wanted to support him because I knew it's what he wanted to do.
Right now, I was trying to entertain the kids for what felt like the hundredth day in a row.
"Sissy, I am so bored." Juniper said as I bounced Maisie, trying to calm her down.
She was mostly a good baby but being deprived of sunlight and anything but this room was hard for her.
Not to mention I was still feeding her every two hours so none of us were really getting any sleep.
"I know, I'm so sorry." I said with a yawn. "Can we maybe go on a walk down here?" Carter suggested as I frowned.
"I don't want to distrupt anyone with Maisie since she's so fussy." I said with a frustrated sigh.
"We're old enough and it's safe enough to walk around down here, Jule." Jenna pointed out.
"I know. If you guys want to then you can." I said as they all got up. "Thanks, Jule." Sam said with a wide smile as Carter opened the door and they all filed out.
As soon as the door closed I sighed and looked at Maisie. "Come on girlie, work with me." I mumbled as tears formed in my eyes.
I was getting better about doubting myself as a mom but when Maisie would cry and cry without being soothed I always felt like I was the worst mom in the world.
I couldn't understand why she was upset and it made me feel horrible because I should have known.
I should have been able to soothe my baby.
"Shhhh I know." I whispered and held her close as she screamed. I was so beyond tired that I actually started to cry myself.
It was overwhelming trying to keep myself together when all the kids were around. It was hard to stay strong for Colby when my post partum depression was in full swing.
It was all so hard and I couldn't express it with anyone.
"Come on, sweetheart." I whispered and bounced Maisie as she sobbed and sobbed. I didn't know how long we stayed in the cycle before the door was opening and Colby was walking in.
"Hey, what's going on?" He asked as I sniffled and looked up at him.
"She won't stop crying." I whimpered as he came over. "Well that's not good." He said and held his arms out so I would hand her over.
"Maybe she missed you." I said then sniffled and handed her over. "I don't know about that." He said then rocked Maisie.
"What are you doing back so soon?" I asked and wiped my cheeks. "Just dropped in to check on you." He said as Maisie slowly started to calm down.
"See? She missed you." I said and tried to keep myself from crying more. "Hmm. I guess I haven't been around much." He hummed then looked around. "Where are the others?" He asked as I sighed.
"They went on a walk around the office. I know they aren't really supposed to but I can't keep them trapped in a room with a screaming baby." I said and ran my fingers through my hair.
