Felicidad Anhelante (Miguel O'Hara x Fem reader)

Chapter 45

(Since your kitties keep on purring, here's a little teaser of chapter 50🙄 Jesus Christ y'all)

POV: First person, Miguel.

I looked at Y/n to see for her answer, my hand still out for her.

With some hesitance, her fingers intertwine with mine. I gave it a light squeeze, her hands and fingers so delicate. With just her hand gesture, it told me that she said yes.

I walked her through the portal not, letting her hand go.

Of course, like what I told her. I couldn't tell her nor could I explain it myself.

At first it was all for Gabriella's sake only. If Y/n went for another man, then Gabriella would get upset and I wouldn't get to see her anymore.

Then now, that's changed, but how did it changed so quickly? That now, if Y/n went for another man, I would be the one upset too.

It wasn't just for Gabriella anymore, but also for me too. How could I be to selfish? I love Gabriella just as much I loved mine. But as those little moments of eye contact, touches and arguments, had made me fallen in love with her mother.

I don't know if Y/n would feel the same way. No she couldn't, cause her heart still belonged to the other.

"I really don't know why you need to hold my hand, but could you let it go?" Y/n asked, feeling the grip of my hand tighten.

I gently rubbed the top of her hand, before loosening it, not wanting to let go.

Feeling the grip on her hand, Y/n sighed in defeat, "Such a stubborn guy," she shook her head and stepped into the portal, pulling me along.

Once we got to the headquarters, Y/n shook my hand out of hers, "Y/n-,"

"Hurry come on," She ran to my office. She probably didn't want people to get the wrong idea. But then, she wants to get over with this.

I quietly groaned and slowly walked to my office, purposely taking my time.

The metal door opened for me, seeing Y/n tapping her foot, her mask off, "Why were you walking as if you carry 60 pounds of rocks behind your back?!" she put her hands up.

I grumbled an apology, before walking up to her, "I'm sorry what I did a few days ago," I looked at her eyes, "I wasn't thinking correctly. I'm sorry... but not really,"

"Miguel, you're so confusing," Y/n scoffed and turned her body away from mine, "You say you're sorry then you're not?"

Her back facing me as she started to ramble and yell at me. About how much my mood could change so fast. How I'm mostly angry most of the time.

No I'm not, I'm sincere around the people I love. I try and do be gentle.

"Listen Miguel, this conversation is going nowhere," Y/n started to leave, "What a waste of time," she said under her breath.

I reached my hand out. I opened my mouth, but no words came out. My mind kept saying, tell her you love her. But then again, that wouldn't do anything, probably make it more worst than the situation already is.

"Y/n! Please wait!" I shouted, I couldn't move my body. My breathing was shaky.

"I... I..." I couldn't say it and I was too late. Y/n walked out of the door, without listening to my pleases, "Love you..." I whispered, pulling my hand back.

It's so easy to say those words alone, but harder when the person is around.

I sighed and I turned to my yellow screens. Walking up to the platform, sitting on my chair, rubbing my forehead.

Lyla appeared, how embarrassing. Having an AI witness everything? I fluttered my lashes, pondering, "Just I want to tell her... but at the same time- everyone is telling me what I'm doing is wrong... and that's why... I'm not afraid of rejection, I'm afraid that if I say it, I'll lose everything again," my eyes began to water, "I really want to her the feelings I have... Lyla what do I do?" I asked, as my voice quivered.

"I tell her, either way. She's just going to get upset with you every time you two meet," Lyla reasoned, zooming to the other side, "Yes this may make her upset, but a little discomfort, can make sure there's a lot less pain in the future," she shrugged.

Lyla was right, it's best I tell Y/n now, "Then I'll go see-," I started to get, but Lyla stopped.

"Ah, Ah, Ah," she clicked her tongue, "Didn't we just see her leave, upset? So impatient. You're looking advice, listen to me then," Lyla huffed in annoyance.

I shook my head and sighed, "But you said now," I pouted.

"Use your head, Miguel,"Lyla blew a raspberry and groaned, "Why do you want to confess those feelings to her?" she asked me.

"It... feels right too... but at the same time it doesn't," I answered and sighed, "Am I an complicated person?" I asked.

"Yes, Miguel. Yes you are," Lyla immediately said, eagerly nodding, sighing, "Now how did you fell in love with her?"

"I don't know! Sometimes I think it comes from Gabriella. She wants all of us to spend time together. I always think to myself do I hate or love this woman? And Y/n is right, I always use Gabriella as in excuse for my stupid things,"

"Like say that you didn't want Y/n to end up with someone else because it will make Gabriella upset but that also means you'll get upset too, which also means that once Y/n ends up with someone else, she'll want Gabriella to spend time with her new lover and that means you'll be at square one," Lyla took a guess.

"How do you know all of that?!"

———{ }———

"Hi, Papá," Gabriella greeted.

I smiled, "Hello, Cariño," I greeted back.

"How was your day?" she asked, with a giggle, "Mine was great!"

I chuckled, "It was okay..." I paused, "I tried to confess my feelings to the woman I love... but I wasn't confident enough,"

"Aw, bummer," Gabriella clicked her tongue, "Let's hope tomorrow would be better, okay?" she reassured me.

"Yeah, let's hope," I nodded, "also today I tired to make those cupcakes at that store, but I failed again-," I was cut off by her.

"Papá, I have to go, bye!" the audio end with a beep.

I paused for a bit, realizing I was rambling again, "Bye, Cariño..." I slumped back into my chair.

I rested my head on my desk, my arms as support. Sighing, "I just don't know if I can do this anymore. Loving and saving people pains my heart. I just want to be happy again. Like Peter... he has.. everything. A good relationship with his wife, let alone having a child. While I'm just here, rotting away," I sighed again, "Your Papá missis you very much, Cariño,"

I looked at the recordings and videos of different variants of Gabriella and I. None of them including Y/n.