Suffering: Part 5

If Ever I Were

"Lucius thinks I am leading him on. He thought I was giving him the complete brush off today," Y/N admitted as the two cuddled into bed that night. "He's in a difficult position. I can understand his assumption," Severus remarked as he wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm starting to wonder if the sex was enough to justify possibly hurting our friend," she replied with a sigh.

"Lucius is an adult. No one forced him to do anything. He was a willing participant in case it escaped your notice," Severus grinned at her. "That may be, but we should still be careful with his feelings," she informed him softly.

Severus moved down where he could look into her eyes as she laid back on the pillow. "I want all of your attention," he whispered before giving her a soft kiss. "When do you not, Headmaster?" she smiled at him after he pulled away from their kiss.

"I still can't believe you're mine," he remarked as he studied her face. "I wonder if you will always feel as if you won a prize," she teased. "What a delightful plot twist you were, Princess," he smiled at her before giving her a soft peck on the lips.

"I wish everyone could see you as I do," she admitted looking up into his deep onyx eyes. "You couldn't handle the competition as gracefully as I do," the man teased her playfully. "That is true. Just the image of someone touching you, quite bothersome, indeed," she replied.

"How do you think I feel? I've seen another man deep inside my wife," he remarked blankly. "By your own doing," she reminded him.

"In a perfect world, we would all play and no one would get their feelings trampled. Unfortunately, this isn't a perfect world," he replied as he laid beside her, pulling her into his chest. His arms always felt like an iron fortress, made just for wrapping around her.

"He's not your competition, you know. No one could take your place," she whispered into his chest as she took in the scent of him. "I'm doing my best to believe that. I'm rather proud of myself for how much I let you two get away with," he grinned down at her.

"Do you trust him and I together? Alone, I mean," she asked. "I trust both of you, implicitly. As you know, sometimes the mind tries to trick us. I start wondering if you prefer spending time with him. Taking adventures, I'm not inclined to participate in," Severus remarked.

"You are my home. Everything is just the way I like it here with you. My tea is always right, the bathwater always the perfect temperature, things like that. Together you and I are a collection of all of my favorite things, including our children.

Lucius is the world outside of our house. He isn't better, he is different. You cannot compare the two. He is horseback riding and diving in the mediterranean.

At night I always come back to my bed, where you are waiting to wrap me up in your arms. The half of my heart that doesn't belong to me any longer lives inside you and the girls. I'm not a whole person without that," she smiled up at him.

"Do you believe you can love both of us and we all live happily ever after?" Severus asked her curiously.

"Happily, ever after's are for children's books. I believe I have an ocean of love inside me waiting for more people to give it to. I want to love and be loved. As well as make more of our own people to love," she replied softly.

"I would get you pregnant right now," he grinned down at her. "Oh no Daddy, please don't," she giggled as she attempted to get away playfully.

"You're not going anywhere, Princess. You're all mine," he grinned at her as he playfully pinned her to the bed under his body. "I love when you're on top of me," she smirked up at him as her hands were pinned above her head.

His eyes trailed over her body until meeting hers again, "Is that why you keep pressing yourself against me?" he grinned. "Involuntary response," she teased.

"A feeble attempt at getting free if I do say so," he remarked cheekily before leaning down to kiss her. "I shall never be truly free again, if ever I were," she whispered before he took her mouth passionately again.