quitting while we're ahead,

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TRIGGER WARNING (stay safe you delicate flower)

hi. i'm still a little sick and i still haven't dyed my hair ): hoping i'll get better soon.

mcr fans, have you heard that message frank recorded when gerard disappeared? it was from a couple of years ago. that voice recording pretty much inspired me to write this.

put a trigger warning because i feel like this topic could be a little too much for some people or at least the implications could be too much. If you're ever contemplating self-harm or suicide, please tell someone.

hope you enjoy.

-gee

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"Please don't answer, please don't answer, please don't answer." Jordan muttered to himself as he paced up and down his apartment hallway. If Will answered his phone, that was it. His plan would never see the light of day or perhaps, the darkness of night.

"Hi. You've reached the voicemail of Will Kingtong. Please leave your name and number, and he will return your call as soon as possible!" The chirpy voice was followed quickly by a shrill beep.

"H-hey baby. I just wanted to say...I was hoping I wouldn't reach you and I guess I got my wish," Jordan swallowed thickly.

"I love you so much. And I'm gonna miss you, Wim. I'm really sorry that I didn't give you a chance to say a proper goodbye. I just can't do this anymore. I can't live with this sadness anymore. I can't..." Jordan's voice cracked.

"I don't think...I don't think I would've lasted this long without you. The day I met you, I thought I had been saved but I guess that's just not how life goes. I've loved you from the start even if I was too chicken to say it. You got it out of me eventually," Jordan let out a small laugh, "and I'm really glad you did. These years with you have been some of the best years of my life."

Jordan paused to catch his breath. "You just couldn't help me because, in reality, no one can help a sick fool like me."

"I hope you'll be able to forgive me for what I'm about to do. I hope you're not the one to find me." He fought to keep his tears at bay. "I'm really sorry, baby. I love you. Please don't ever forget me. I love you. I love you, Will."

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"...I love you, Will."

"It's my fault." Will's tear filled eyes glimmered sorrowfully in the light. His eyes flickered around wildly before gazing into Ryan's own blank eyes. "My Jordan, my Jor. Jor. I-I k-killed him. My sunshine is gone."

His phone fell to the ground with a crack.

"H-hey baby..."

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