Avengers One-Shots (Requests Closed)

Loki X Reader: If She Only Knew

A/N: Okay this song may be a bit old and honestly I do not even exactly remember why or how I even came upon it, but this has been a secret favorite of mine. This was from 98 Degrees, another boy band group from back in the day. You know the guys who sang True to Your Heart from Mulan?

When I heard it again, I thought of only one character that this song will go well with.

Hope you guys like it!

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If she only knew
What I knew but couldn't say
If she could just see
The part of me that I hid away

Groaning once more, Loki threw one of his beloved books across the room in frustration. You had once again found a way into his thoughts. Ever since you had left the realm of Asgard, he has been force to replay your last argument with one another. How he had made yet another mistake.

There were so many times in your relationship where he want to say how much he appreciated and cared about her. How lovely and amazing he thought she was. Sadly, due to his walls around his heart, Loki never truly showed her that sensitive side of his.

If I could just hold her in my arms again
And just say "I love you"
But she's gone away, maybe she'd stay
If she only knew

He still remembers how perfectly she fitted in his arms. How you made him feel every time you were around him. How much he truly loved you. There were so many times he wished he let go of his fears and told you those three simple yet meaningful words.

Sadly, you were already gone. He had kept thinking what would have happened if you knew about why he did what he had done. Why he never showed that side of him. If you only knew how much he loved you.

If she could just feel
What I feel here in my heart
She'd know it was real
Pure and true right from the start

Soon a memory came across the god of mischief's mind, which caused him to feel many emotions at the same time. His heart was grieving so much that its tears manifested on the outside, causing those beautiful sorrowful green eyes to cry out a waterfall.

Loki's love for you was always there from the very beginning to this particular moment. It was always real and sincere right from the moment you two began courting. He never lied to you with either his actions or his words. He had always loved you even before he had realized it. All because of that moment you laughed into the dining hall with your friends. That was when he knew.

But I'm just a man who didn't understand
What she was going through
But she's gone away, maybe she'd stay
If she only knew

Due to his own failure to see his surroundings, he had not realized what you were going through. You were doubting your relationship with him. You did not know where you stood with him and sometimes he seemed very distant from you. It did not help that the courtiers and ladies at court were taking a page from Loki's book and slowly feed you lies.

If only he had reaffirmed her of his intentions. If only he spoke of his love and devotion towards you. If only he had showed you his feelings in a more outward expression more often. If he was not so obsessed with the throne.

Maybe they would still be together.

That she would finally know the truth.

And how, how did I let her get away
'Cause love, love is so easy to feel
But the hardest thing to say

Loki had never forgiven himself for his actions. His distance. His lack of confirmation. For letting your doubts take over instead of defeat them once and for all. For letting his fears and insecurities ruin everything.

If he only had the courage to tell you how he really felt about you. It seemed like every single time how he wanted to say those words. How many moments came and let them pass through his fingers. It may seem like a simple task, but it was possibly the hardest thing he ever attempted.

If she could just see
What I see when I close my eyes
All that I dream
Surely she would realize

The man could never get any sleep without you invading his dreams. It was filled with both beautiful dreams filled with endless possibilities of the future you two could have shared with one another and nightmares of your arguments as well as you moving on with another.

Sometimes he had often thought that maybe if you saw what he had been dreaming and/or his sleepless nights, then you would realize how much you mean to him.

But like a fool I waited much too long
To let her know the truth
She's gone away, maybe she'd stay
If she only knew

But it was too late. Much too late to fix what he has done. You were far gone by now and went to explore the realms like you had always wanted to do.

She would never know the truth. You would never know the extent of his feelings.

Loki would spend the rest of his days regretting and blaming himself for the rest of his days. Wondering what would have happened if you had only knew.