Adopted by Pentatonix (#Power10)

Chapter 78

Dedication: PTXness because you seem like an amazing person and I'm sure my name-buddy will like you.

Lmao I'm watching Game of Thrones and I wrote 100 words by the time the intro was done.

Oh the end of this chapter killed me but 90% of you won't need life support bc most of my readers are actually heartless.

How do you fall out of love because I honestly don't need this right now. It's actually tearing me apart and I'm literally crying right now.

Very big rant at the end about my personal life relating to updates. You don't have to read it.

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Recap:
"God, I'm never letting you come to Australia again." He whispers into my hair and kisses the top of my head. I sniffle and hug him tighter.

*****

{21st June, Tuesday}

"Skylar," Kirstie whispers and I hum quietly in reply. "Can you tell me why?"

It's the next day, well night, and they've all given me a day to rest up before interrogating me tomorrow. I think it's around 11:30pm and I called Kirstin because I just couldn't sleep so she had to come and hop into bed with me even though it wasn't allowed. I haven't seen Shane since I "saved" him from Scott.

I bite my lip and release a sigh. Staring up at the ceiling, I listen to her calming heartbeat under my ear. We lay there for ten minutes at least, as I try and sort out my thoughts.

"Sometimes," I whisper into the darkness but I know she's listening. "I just get so sad. So sad that I completely shut down and I just stare at the wall. And it doesn't matter what you say to me because in that moment, I don't exist. And I just.... I wanna talk about with somebody but I can't; mainly because I don't even know how to explain it to myself. Oh god, and the tiredness," I whisper and tears form in the eyes. "I'm so damn tired all the time."

"Why don't you sleep?" She whispers back and I sniffle.

"Because it's not the kind of tired you can just sleep away... It's more complex and exhausting."

She pauses and I brave myself, knowing exactly what's coming next.

"And what about the cuts?" She whispers again and I take in a deep breath before slowly exhaling. 

"What about them? They're everywhere.... On my thighs, my wrists, my hips, even my ribcage. It's so addicting and I just can't stop." I murmur and use one of my free hands to lift up my hospital gown a little and gently run a finger along one of the scars on my thigh.

"Why do you do it?" She squeezes my body closer to hers and I feel my stomach roll onto itself, creating fat rolls.

Ew.

I think for a second. "We cut and kill flowers because we think they're beautiful. We cut and kill ourselves because we think we're not."

"Skylar," Kit lifts her head up a little bit so she can gaze down at me. "You're gorgeous, I hope you know that."

"Whatever." I mumble and she sighs.

"What do you- you know what? We'll talk about this tomorrow." She mutters and my stomach sinks.

She's sounds so done with me.