Intent [Wattys 2017]

Chapter 79

Emma

Last night was a roller coaster of emotions if there ever was one.

Things were good and then they went unbearably tense and then I froze and then he went rigid and pushy, causing me to then blow up at him and we ended up in his childhood bed wrapped up in one another.

Of course I wish it had gone a little more smoothly.

I could have done without Harry ambushing me when 'love' popped up when his mum came in. I also wish I could have held in my bottled up emotions from the last few days and not have exploded on him... then there was that moment I saw him holding my journal. Swear I thought I was about ready to have a heart attack having him so close to knowing everything.

It was a real shitshow of an evening.

It shouldn't have happened like that. I'm here to be a soothing presence not a mixer of drama. But then again we wouldn't be us if all this shit hadn't of hit the fan.

That's who Harry and Emma are, doubt it will ever change as long as we're together.

Just in this moment, as I'm cuddled up into Harry's side, secured in place by Harry's strong muscled arm, everything seems perfect.

It's amazing how things can shift in the air between us so suddenly. Sure Harry is grieving for his nan right now and we fought last night but after the hopeless bundle of chaos that was our relationship over the past few days ago, things seem back to normal. 

It's the best feeling.

I'm in the perfect state between half asleep and fully conscious. That blissful moment when you can so easily slip back into an endless dream state or actually wake up and start the day.

Well I'm definitely not starting my day right now, sun's barely up.

My eyes are closed but blissfully aware that Harry is right here beside me. The gentle inhale and exhale of this chest, the air filling his lungs and pressing his warm skin up against my cheek, the sweetest lullaby.

Slowly I take a few moments and just feel him underneath me, next to me, completely surrounding me. His warmth swimming through my veins with every heartbeat.

Laying in his arms I am completely content.

Sure I'm still anxious about everything that went down yesterday and I can tell that Harry's patience is wearing dangerously thin regarding all my 'past issues' but right at this moment none of that matters.

This beautiful man sleeping next to me is all mine and there is literally nothing more that I want to quietly slip back to sleep and wake up in a few hours still in this position. 

But like so many times in my life the universe has other plans as I am harshly pulled into clear reality by the most annoying buzzing sound rattling through the room.

After a few rhythmic moments of buzzzz, buzzzzzzzz, buzzz it stops.

Then of course it starts up again.

I few moments ago I was contemplating how wonderful sleeping here in my boy's arms was and now I'm about ready to throw my phone out the bloody window disrupting our serene little bubble that we've created in Harry's childhood room.

Sleepily I lean over Harry's naked torso and grab my phone off the bedside table. How the damn thing still has a charge is beyond me but well here we are.

Mindlessly I type in my passcode but I'm denied. I try again thinking maybe I was just wrong. I'm barely awake at the moment, simply going through the familiar motions of getting into my phone, it wouldn't be surprising if that was true.