Intent [Wattys 2017]

Chapter 85

Emma

I honestly think that university professors have a secret club that's sole purpose is to come up with new ways to torture their students.

Seriously, it's like they plan to push their students so close to the edge that it's no surprise when students end up breaking down in tears or seriously considering throwing in the towel and pursuing a life of crime.

During the past few weeks I've been one of those students.

Needless to say that my final exams have been the worst. Hardest I've experienced in my entire time here.

I'm surprised I'm not strapped down to some mattress in a psych ward somewhere, very heavily medicated with a worried Harry dabbing my forehead with a damp towel, after having pulled all my hair out with all the stress.

You would think school would get easier the more you attend but it doesn't and it certainly didn't help that Harry kept distracting me every time I tried to sit down and study.

It's like he had a sixth sense when it came to me studying. Each time I would sit down with my large mug of coffee and carefully spread my books out on my desk he'd waltz into the room without a care in the world and start kissing on me.

Harry is intoxicating when he's turning me on and I loved every second of his lips on me but it wasn't the time for all that. My academics were hanging in the balance and even Harry fucking perfect Styles couldn't stray me.

He certainly did try though. I'd probably commend his persistence if I wasn't so tightly wound.

Okay I might be sounding like a twat but my schooling is important to me. I'm good at it, class stabilizes me, not to mention I need to do well to move forward career wise.

So I started studying in secret, left my room in the early hours of the morning and took to hiding in the library just to get some peace from my wonderful boyfriends insatiable mood.

Honestly that boy is so effortlessly intelligent it pisses me off. I spent weeks busting my butt studying and it seems that all he has to do is show up on exam day and he aces it.

But I got through it and now it's winter holiday and after a lengthy conversation with Harry a few weeks ago concerning our plans it was decided that we would be spending Christmas apart with our own families to then celebrate the New Year's together in Ireland before heading back to school.

It was a perfect plan.

I just needed some time to sort through everything, talk with my mum about what Jessica told me and then formulate a plan as to how to dump it all, albeit gently, onto Harry.

Because I've decided to tell him. I want Harry in my life and because I don't see any end to his nosey behavior my honesty is the only way to truly move forward.

There were just too many questions I needed answered to let him come for the whole holiday. I need all the information before telling him. I need time to process and deal with it. Lina was telling me that Harry could be a part of the whole process, you know? He can support me and and hold me and just be there when it get's too much. Because it will be hard, hearing it all but...I don't know. I just feel like I need to do it on my own before I tell him.

It's all just too big, there's too much to tell Harry without a plan.

Seriously, did my father really not get punished for what happened? Was he sick beyond control? And if he was, why wasn't I told? Why didn't he get treatment? How could he have let it get so bad to the point of beating his daughter to a bloody pulp.