Lukesse Oneshots~2018 Wattys

Hurt

I fell to my knees on the ground. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I kneeled in the forest, alone, rain pouring down from the sky. My old scars had been reopened, this time they'll never heal.

~Flashback~

"Jesse, you gotta let him go." Petra said. "Petra, you know what my answer is." I replied. "Guys, please don't argue." Lukas pleaded. Petra ignored him. "Jesse, it's been over a year. You have to let him go!" Petra exclaimed. "I won't!" I exclaimed. "Jesse, Reuben is DEAD. Stop living in the past and start opening your eyes to the real world around you!" Petra shouted. Hearing those words come from my own friend's mouth made me feel guilty all over again. It was my fault Reuben died. "Petra, you don't know what it feels like to watch your best friend fall down to his doom, then when you land in water, you get to watch him die right in front of you. You have never had to deal with the pain of waking up and getting to remember all over again how it was your fault your best friend died." I replied, my voice icily calm. Petra seemed to realize her mistake, but I was running out the door long before she could say a word.

~End of Flashback~

"Why must the world be so cruel to me?" I whispered to no one in particular. I looked through my bag and saw my enchanted diamond sword, laying right there. How easy it would be to just stab myself, being reunited with Reuben. I grabbed the sword and raised it up, preparing to meet Reuben again. Before I could, someone ran up and knocked my sword away from me. They wrapped me in a hug, preventing me from moving to grab my sword. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I recognized who it was. I hugged Lukas back, ashamed of myself for trying to kill myself after everything he has done for me. I was so filled with grief, I forgot everything my friends and Lukas have done for me, to make me feel better. Lukas pulled away, though he held my shoulders to prevent me from moving. Tears were in his blue eyes. I felt guilty, since him seeing me trying to kill myself was probably horrible. "Jess, don't. Petra didn't mean it. And she certainly didn't want it to go this far." Lukas said. I stayed silent, avoiding eye contact. "Jess, look at me." Lukas said. I continued to look at the ground until he put his hand under my chin and lifted my head up, so I was making eye contact. "Jess, we all care about you. We all miss the old Jesse, and we have no clue what happened to her. We only know the broken, sad girl since the Witherstorm was defeated. And we hate seeing you like that. I know the old Jesse is in there somewhere, she just needs some help to come back." Lukas said. "I-I can't. The old Jesse died with Reuben..." I whispered. "No, the old Jesse is still in there. She's just hiding behind grief so it's almost impossible to find her. But I've seen her before, after the Witherstorm." Lukas said. He gently moved his hand to my cheek, causing me to blush. He leaned closer, and our lips touched.

He pulled away after a few moments, leaving me in shock and awe. Lukas blushed and looked at the ground. "I know I can't fill the hole in your heart in place of Reuben, but will you give me a chance?" Lukas asked. I couldn't reply. Lukas loved me? Petra's words came rushing back to me. 'Stop living in the past and start opening your eyes to the world around you!' Those words suddenly had more meaning to them than before. "How long have you loved me?" I asked. "Since that time when we were in the End, after you told me about Petra. I planned on telling you in the cave after the Formidi-Bomb plan failed, but I couldn't work up the courage." Lukas admitted. After all that time, when I was grieving, I could have seen Lukas as more than a friend. I could have realized I loved him sooner. "Of course I'll give you a chance, Lukas." I replied. His blue eyes glowed with happiness. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips to his. He melted into the kiss and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer. After a minute, we pulled away. I shivered, remembering the cold rain. Lukas wrapped his jacket around my arms before picking me up in his arms. He grabbed my sword and put it in his pack before he started walking back to the fortress.

~Two weeks later~

I sat on the couch, wrapped in a blanket. Ever since Petra, Axel, Olivia, J, and Ivor were told about my attempted suicide, they have made sure there were no weapons or other items I could use to try and kill myself. But there's no need, since Lukas and I started dating, the hole in my heart that has been there since Reuben's death has slowly started mending. There will always be a place in my heart for Reuben, but I had to stop living in the past and my grief and pay more attention to what is happening around me. Lukas sat next to me, holding me in his arms. He always stayed by my side, and he helped me become the old Jesse from before. I put my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes in content. I felt him kiss the top of my head, and a smile spread across my face. The hole in my heart had no pieces to fill it back, and it seemed that nothing could fill it back. Until two weeks ago, when I realized Lukas was the only person that could fill that hole. Now, we were a happy couple, always will be.