Family of Hamilton-ON HIATUS

REHAB DIARY #1

Day 1:

Okay so my psychologist here at rehab told me I should keep a diary. I guess that's easier then talking to her all the time. Today I moved into the Broadway Rehab center, as Lin said it is right down 42nd street near the theater district. I also met my main rehab person, Russell. He is a theater nerd and actually runs a bookshop part-time. He promised to bring me books IF I did as he asked. Anyway I should get to sleep as tomorrow starts the torture of becoming INDEPENDENT as Russell says.

Day 2:

So this sucks, I can't do a damn thing. I can't even sit up without help! How the hell am I supposed to get into my damn wheelchair without someone picking me up and putting me in it. I still have the damn tube in my nose because until I can sit up on my own, the fear I cannot feed myself properly. We won't even discuss the rest of what's going on with my body. FUCK THIS...FUCK YOU AL AND SANDY!!!!

Day 9:

So yeah I skipped a few days but who the hell cares. I'm the only one reading this damn thing. Anyway today was much better in terms of sitting up in bed. I finally got the motions right and made it into a sitting position. That's the first time in 12142412 days, insert sarcasm there. Anyway what made my day even better was when the cast of Hamilton came by for a visit. I mean they visited everyone at Rehab but I finally got to meet these people Lin has talked so much about. Come to find out Jasmine and I share several things in common and she helped them braid my hair as we talked. She made me feel happy, safe, and part of a family. Her boyfriend isn't bad to look at either but that's another story LOL Anyway Lin said he had a special surprise for me tomorrow, I can't wait. Plus Chris, Andy, and Alex are coming by for music therapy tomorrow, that is going to be so much fun!

Day 10:

MUSIC THERAPY IS THE BOMB!!!! Yeah I had so much fun today. I actually even felt like being wheeled into the music room for the first time since I got here. I was afraid that room would be too painful as I knew my dreams of being a broadway star were never going to come true. Anyway Alex was at the piano playing some tune I recognized but couldn't remember the name. Andy was helping some of the more mobile patients move to the music to the best of their ability. Chris was trying rather unsuccessfully to get some people to sing along. When I entered he ran straight for me. He started humming the tune and I realized where I knew the song from. Suddenly I burst into singing "I could've danced all night" from the King and I. It felt so good to be singing again, even if I would never take to the stage again.

Day 19:

FINALLY!!! Nose tube is out and I am actually eating human food again! Thank you Jazz and Anthony for the delicious pizza you brought by. Lin wanted to come but he was sick at home and didn't want to infect anyone else. So today also began my learning how to transfer from bed to wheelchair. That was HELL and I'm not kidding. I swear this upper body workout Andy has me on will be the death of me. I understand though, I can't go home until I get this down. I can't be independent until I can do this. In other news, Lin and Vanessa have filed the paperwork to adopt me.

Day 30:

WHY???WHY???WHY??? What the hell does the universe have against me getting better. I have been stuck in this rehab for 30 days now. I finally can feed myself and get myself into my chair. Today though was pure torture, and it's all my own damn fault! I didn't listen to Andy, Russell, or anyone else's advice and I tried to be little miss independent. I tried to do more than I was capable of and ended up on the floor with my wheelchair all the way across the room. Good thing I've gotten good at dragging my useless legs behind me! THIS SUCKS...I HATE MY LIFE!!!!

Day 35:

Well I am now on suicide watch. Dr Yee, my psychologist, read my last journal entry. She was worried I was going to try and kill myself. Do you have any idea what it is like to be watched 24/7, it's torture. I'm not allowed anything sharp and everything people bring me has to be checked. Even the teddy bear that Lin brought me signed by the cast had to be checked! I love my AHam, I am going to sleep with him every night. Anyway tomorrow I get a special visitor, they want to introduce me to Sebastian. How on earth are they going to explain a girl in a wheelchair to a baby. Oh well let's see how this day goes.

Day 36:

Sebastian is the cutest kid ever! I mean seriously how on earth can two people have such an adorable kid. He took to me without hesitation, he wanted me to hold him the entire time he was there. Lin and Vanessa took tons of pictures for which I assume was Lin's social media account. I have learned through Andy and Chris that Lin is some sorta Twitter god, okay whatever that means. Anyway today I sat unassited on the floor for the first time. Sebastian sat on the floor beside me, and I made sure to help him not fall over. He and I seem to be on the same level with this floor sitting thing. When it was time to leave, Seb cried when Lin took him from me. Was that cute or just scary...who knows. Anyway next week I find out when I get to go home!!!!!