Destined with the Bad Girl ➸ Camren Fanfic

You are Summer to My Winter Heart

You drew memories in my mind I could never erase. You painted colors in my heart I could never replace.
- perry poetry

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Chapter 43
Lauren's POV

"Have you ever wrote a song for someone before?" Fin suddenly asked out of nowhere.

Without stopping myself from sketching, I answer her. "I did."

I can see in the corner of my eyes the lit on her face because of my response, "Ah! I knew it! You have that song writer spirit in you!"

I lift up my gaze to meet hers, "The song was horrible though. Besides, I wrote it because..."

My gaze accidentally meet Camila's. Her brown orbs are piercing straight to my eyes going down to my lips. She was staring hard.

I shrugged my shoulders, "I was bored." I lied. I wrote it for her because I miss her. I miss her so damn much and writing down my feelings is the best choice to let it all out so it won't consume me. That, that is the truth.

Fin's about to open her mouth to say something but I beat her up to it, "And please, don't make me sing it because I forgot the lyrics." Another lie.

"Damn you, Jauregui!" We both laugh when I suddenly felt my phone vibrates from my pocket.

Thinking it was a text from Ally, I immediately pulled out my phone to read it. But then my heartbeat quicken upon the name appearing in the screen of my phone— Camila.

The most ugly virgin I've ever met:
I can't concentrate when you're here. What are you doing to me?
sent: 10:17 am

I lift up my gaze to look at Camila and she's looking back at me. I didn't smile nor give her anything in return and just go back to what I'm doing.

As everyone do their job, I heard Camila's talking to someone on the phone and I can easily tell that it's Shawn the way she speak and smile. And in the midst of their conversation Camila let out a fist of laughter. I scrunched my eyebrows at the stinging pain I've suddenly felt in my chest upon hearing her laughter. I thought I've already used to it, but still, the thought of someone making her laugh still hurts me. The thought can still bring jealousy to me. I guess I will never be okay with it but I have to be.

"I should get back to work. Just so you know, you're disturbing me." Camila chuckled.

I fight back the urge to look at her but it seems like my eyes has it's own mind because they lift up on their own and connects with Camila's brown orbs who's also looking back at me.

"I love you." She said without disconnecting her gaze to me, "I love you so much, I hope you know it." The brunette repeated. A small smile appeared on her lips. I look away.

I can feel my heart beating thunderously. There's something in a way she says it. It's as if she's not telling it to Shawn but she's rather telling it to me indirectly. Or maybe I'm reading beyond the lines again. But what if I'm right? What if she's still In love with me? What about Shawn? What about Clark? I can't let them suffer for the sake of my happiness. I can't let the kid suffer the lost of his family all because of me. I don't think I can handle all that guilt.

"Lauren," I felt a hand over my shoulder that snap me out from my thoughts, "You okay?" It's Dutch.

I nod my head, "Yeah, I am."

"You..." He stares deeply in my eyes as if he's trying to read what's on my mind, "don't look like you're okay. Is there something wrong?"

"I'm totally—"