Destined with the Bad Girl ➸ Camren Fanfic

The Truth About Lauren

I loved you once, but no longer now.
- Perry poetry

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Chapter 47
Lauren's POV

Breaking News: Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello are officially engaged! The couple—

The tv suddenly shuts down. I lift up my gaze and I saw Ally standing beside me with an awful face.

"Camila's inviting us to her engagement party."

Her words caught my attention, "Us?"

Ally nod her head, "I can't believe what she just did, Laur. This is so not Camila."

"I guess you were right. I never really know her that much. I guess the Camila we all knew was long gone... all because of me."

"Stop blaming yourself. You did what was right at that time."

"When will I get better? Will this pain ever stop?"

"Yes." Ally sat beside me and give my hand a gently squeeze, "Only if you accept that she's really gone in your life. Only then the pain will stop."

But... how do we accept that things are not meant for us when we badly want them to? How exactly do we let go of something that we already see our future with? How exactly can we tell to our hearts to stop loving someone when it's the only thing they knew? There's no way or how or any easy way out in this. Cause the truth is, love can make you feel stronger and can make you feel so powerless at the same time.  Love is a very dangerous thing. It is terrifying, so scary. And it's not the heartbreak that's scary, no, it is the aftermath of the damage of loving someone so dearly. The memories that always haunts you even in your sleep. The different choices you could have been made. The what if's... a hundred thousand of what if's. That kind of feeling where you couldn't do anything but to sit in the dark  and pray that things will start getting better because you're at this very edge of your breaking point. And it doesn't matter how empty or lonely or how much pain you're in cause as much as love is patient and kind and humble and beautiful, love doesn't have mercy. Love is a cruel bastard.

And I know this very well, that as long as my heart beats for Camila, I'll just keep on breaking and breaking and breaking and the pain won't go away. And how I wish I wake up and not be able to remember things. Maybe when that happens, I could finally be happy. And so, I did what Ally told me. I try to move on. I try to let her go by quitting my job. As soon as I secure that Camila and Shawn are not home, I go inside the house and handed my resignation letter to Alfred.

"As much as I want you to stay, I want you to be happy as well just like Camila. So if going far away from here will make that happen then who am I to stop you?"

I flash a weak smile, "You talk to me like this will be the last time we will see each other. Who knows? Maybe a year or two I'm finally okay. And when that happens, I'll come back and visit you."

Alfred smiled though his eyes are saying otherwise, "I will miss you, Miss Jauregui."

He came closer and pulled me in for a hug. And that's when everything breaks down. I fall into tears yet again. I was sobbing hard in his arms that I couldn't breathe. God knows I don't want to leave but I needed to.

"I will miss you too, Alfred. You've been good to me, and I couldn't be more thankful for that."

"Have you said goodbye to him?" He asked referring to Clark.

"Actually," I pulled away, "I still don't know how to."

"I'm about to fetch him to school but I think you should do the honor." Alfred gave me the keys to the car as well as the medium brown envelope, "Your salary."