Destined with the Bad Girl ➸ Camren Fanfic

Lauren Michelle Mendes

She was a beautiful chaos, made for the night. A black rose that grew by the moonlight.
- ventum

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Chapter 60
Lauren's POV

I barged inside the bookstore and I saw Jillian reading a book by the counter, "Where's your grandpa? Please I need to talk to him!"

She looked up and quickly put the book down when she saw how fucked up I am.

"Oh my god! Lauren, are you—"

"I don't need your fucking pity!" I yelled angrily at her. As soon as I saw her expression became terrified, I quickly apologized. "I-I'm sorry I didn't mean— just please let me talk to him."

Just as she's about to speak, the door beside the counter opens and there stood an old man wearing a sweat shirt and baggy peach pants.

"Lauren," He spoke and I immediately run up to him.

"You were lying to me." I laugh frustratedly, "She's not my mom. T-there's no way that she is."

"I'm not lying to you, what's the point?"

"No," I shook my head, anger was quick to build up inside me.

"She really is your—"

I cut him off by grabbing the collar of his sweatshirt, "NO! KAREN MENDES IS NOT MY MOTHER!" I was breathing heavily while waiting for his answer.

"Lauren," I felt a pair of hands around my arm. It was Jillian, "You're hurting my grandpa. Please let him go."

And that's when I realized how tightly I am gripping on his sweatshirt that I unintentionally ripped it off. I immediately let him go and look down, feeling ashamed of how I cannot seemed to have a good grip over myself. My anger that feeds the demon residing inside me grows more and more stronger and I can feel it happening; I'm slowly losing myself in the depths of madness and insanity.

"Lauren, listen to me." Alvaro's about to approach me so I stormed off and run outside. Whatever he has to say, I don't wanna hear it. Everything that leaves his mouth is a lie. How I wish it was.

I don't know where my feet is taking me. All I know is I wanted to be as far away as possible. I run and run and run. I kept running even when my own body is desperately pleading for me to stop and have some rest. I didn't listen. I didn't give a fuck about myself. Why would I when my own parents don't? Why would I when my own mother told me a hundred times that I'm not her child and pretended that didn't know me? Why would I when my own father told me I am nothing and only care about Shawn? Fucking Shawn who happens to be my brother. Tears continuously falling down on my cheeks before I tripped over and collapse on the cold ground. My whole body was in pain and I can't breathe. It's like I'm already squeezing my lungs tight so I could gasped some air but there's no oxygen coming in. No matter how much I try, I just couldn't. I feel like I'm drowning.

My whole body goes numb, but why do I still feel it? Why do I still feel this throbbing endless pain in my chest?

"Stop. Stop. I don't want to feel you. Stop." I said in between punches. I continued to punch my chest with everything I have left, "WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO NUMB ALREADY?!" I yelled angrily until I have no strength to release anymore.

I hail a cab going back to LA because I don't have enough strength to find my car wherever I left it and drive. I was exhausted, not physically but emotionally and mentally.

I stare at the car window and my tears never stops from falling down. What do you do when you realize that sometimes when you break, you can't be fixed? You just keep on losing more pieces of yourself with time. You break and break and break, peices scattering all over till there's barely any of you left. You are nothing but a mere shadow of yourself. And whatevers left, hurts and aches making it impossible to breathe.