Loving Brian | B.C

Part 8: only when i'm ready

When we arrived at the school, the halls were already filled with students streaming in to the gym. I saw Daniel's car out front, but he wasn't near.
"I have to go find him." I said to Micheal, arranging with him where we're going to sit before I rushed inside, in search for Daniel.

I saw him sitting with Hannah, my heart dropping a bit just by the sight of it. "Tahnée!" He yelled, calling me over when he saw me standing my the door. He got up, rushing towards me and taking my hands in his.
"I'm sorry I was late. When I took the ride to your house I was already late." "But you could've just called me." I looked at him weirdly.

He peeked over his shoulder at Hannah before looking back at me. "Okay fine, she needed a lift and I gave her one. I know I should've called you but my p-phone died." Just then it started ringing, making me laugh as I pulled my hands out of his. "Sounds pretty alive to me. Why are you lying Daniel?"

"I'm not! Hannah needed a ride so I picked her up." "You picked her up instead of your girlfriend." "Well yeah you could've caught a ride with Micheal!" I just shook my head, laughing at how unbelievably shit he is. "I seriously can't deel with you right now." I pushed myself away from him and walked off.

"Don't just walk away Tahnée!"
"No you know what, why don't you ask Hannah to end years prom too huh or take her out!" I yelled, flipping him off as I made my way back to Micheal.

"He's such a fucking asshole." He said angrily, taking my hand in his as he pulled me towards our seats.
Time after time I looked over to Daniel, seeing him talking to Hannah but now, he made no moves. He didn't touch her arm like he did before I came along, he didn't look in to her eyes like he did.

I don't know what he's doing, and why he's doing it behind my back. He's the one that said he'll never cheat...

-

"Graduates, can you please raise from your seats and flip your tassels from right to left."
So the last ceremony began and Micheal and I are literally a few seconds away from being high school graduates.

"This is it." He whispered, clutching my hand in his as he smiled excitedly at the stage, waiting for the principal to finish her over exaggerating speech about how she'll miss us the next year, not returning back for classes or annoying the new teachers.

I'll miss it too though, but my mind is everywhere but this graduation.

"Whoo-hoo!" Everyone yelled, throwing their caps in the air but I was a little late. Luckily Micheal saw my lost in thought moment and threw my cap for me. "Tahnée! We're graduates!" He yelled over the loads of screaming teenagers. "We are!" I said, trying to sound super excited but for some reason I failed deeply, because I wasn't that excited.

Instead some small tears awoke in my eyes, turning my nose a pink shade and making my lip quiver.
"What's wrong?" He chuckled, cupping my cheeks as he locked his eyes on my red ones. "I don't know." I lied, laughing as well as he pulled me in to a hug. But as soon as my head rested on his shoulder I started crying.

After the ceremony we all went back outside where there's food and drinks for everyone. Now the party begins, but I'm in no mood.

"Congratulations honey." My dad pulled me in to a hug, kissing my cheek before I gave my mum a hug too. We formed a small group with friends and Micheal's family joined us too. He however never left my side. He stood by me ever since we left the gym.
"Yeah mum, and Tahnée is leaving in less than three days. It's so unreal." "Wow. Are you excited darling?" I heard hr conversation between Micheal and his mother, but I didn't comprehend what's going on.
I was still in thought... far away.

"Tahnée." He lightly bumped my side, pulling me back to reality. "Mm, huh?" "Are you excited about going to Canada?" His mother asked me. "Oh yeah. I'm excited but at the same time a bit scared." I chuckled nervously, looking around the group of people surrounding me.

"Please excuse me. I'm just quickly going to the restroom." I excused myself from the people, walking the lawn back towards the school.
"Tahnée." I felt a hand grabbing on to mine, and I looked up at Daniel standing beside me.

As my eyes locked on his I started crying again. "Babe." He spoke softly, pulling me closer to him and wrapping his arm tightly around me.
"Are you cheating on me Daniel?" I managed to croak out, for its the only thing that's been on my mind since we ever got here. "What, no! Tahnée I would never do that to you." He said surely.

"Look at me." His eyes are big of shock from my question, and when I looked in to his eyes I saw how real he was.
He wasn't lying.
For once.

"Promise me?"
"I promise you!"
He kissed my forehead, pulling me back in to a hug. We stood there for a while, in each other's embrace before he took my hand in his, walking us over to a bench.

"Listen I get that you're upset about the whole Hannah thing but I promise you there's nothing going on between us. I was simply just a nice neighbor when her mother came over and asked if we can take her because they couldn't come. Other than that I have no intention on ever breaking your heart Tahnée. I love you, and you know that." He reassured me of our relationship status.

"Can we just forget about it?" There he goes again, but love makes you do crazy things if the emotion and feelings are too deep and you're already long ago deeply attached.
So you just go with it.

"Okay." I leaned over, crashing my lips to his. Feeling his hand on my thigh as his other hand was on my cheek.
"I'm going to miss you so much." He whispered as I pulled away. "I'm going to miss you too darling. More than you know." I looked back in to his eyes, seeing the sadness and surrealism.

Should I tell him I love him?

I can't. I need to stay true to my rule.

Only when I'm ready