Loving Brian | B.C

Part 28: car talk

//shawn//

Tahnée looks really pretty for tonight. I can already tell she'll be a hit around my friends and that she'll meet new people or make new friends really quickly here.
I know she's just as a shy person as anyone else may be, but when she gets the hang of a good conversation or someone actually makes the time to keep a conversation with her... she is really good company.

"So, are you nervous? It's okay to be, but you just need to know that you don't have to be nervous because we won't let you feel alone at any second."
"I am a bit nervous to be honest. But it's okay, thank you."

She smiled over to me with her cheeks blossoming a crimson colour, but her mind is on a different planet than the one we are on currently.
She seems to stay put with our conversation but when a dead moment comes and she stares out the window, it's as if she's drifting away.
She's gone for that few seconds.

"Tahnée," I said softly, letting out a small breath, "I know it's a long shot and that you haven't really known me for that long, or even met me before but if there's something on your mind that's bothering you that much, you can talk." She looked over to me with her troubled eyes.

Her mind occupied with questions as she fiddled with her fingers. Her eyes grew with a scream of help. But I don't know what's going on in her mind.

"I won't judge or anything. Let's say this is a safe environment, you can talk to me. No pressure." I heard her sighing before she covered up her face, reating her elbows on her knees as she leaned forward. "I don't know what's going on." She mumbled.

"I miss home, but at the same time I don't. I want to be as far away from it as I can get but it's like, you know that feeling of, you're letting something or someone go but even though you put them in the past, they're still almost haunting your presence? Like no matter how dar away from home I may be, it's keeps on following me." She looked up, her eyes swimming in a bit of tears.

"What are you running from Tahnée?"
She didn't say anything. She just looked out of the window again.
The silence. Dead silence.

"Everything." She said, almost sounding like a whisper. I can't help but feel sad when I see her this sad. It breaks my heart to see her this broken, haunted by the thoughts that's occupying her mind.

It makes me sad that she has to put up a front when she's with us, or around other people, claiming she's okay when in reality she can't even think straight because of all the thoughts on her mind.

I placed my hand over hers.

"Stop running. You're safe here and that's what matters. Leave what's hurting you behind, you don't deserve it and whoever it is... they don't deserve you if they're just misusing you."

"Promise you won't tell?"
"I promise. What happens in the car, stays in the car." She chuckled at my statement, making me smile as I saw he smile awakening on her lips. But it faded a minute after as she thought about what to say.

"Back home, I-" she paused, "I have a boyfriend." My eyes grew big as I looked at the road, my heartbeat increasing slightly.

Brian... he's the one my mind immediately jumped to when she mentioned a boyfriend.

"Ever since I got here he's been distant. He probably called like once or twice but that's it. Every time I reach out to him I just get rejected. I told myself it shouldn't bother me but it does, no matter how many times I push it away. I want to make it work but there's no effort from his side. I have this feeling that whenever he blows me off, he's on his way to his new girlfriend. My best friend Micheal..." she sighed, a hiccup leaving her lips as I saw her starting to cry a bit.

No. She can't cry now. I don't want to see her cry. It's tearing me apart.

"He knows something but he doesn't want to tell me. He keeps quiet about it and it's breaking me even more. I feel like after I left, everyone forgot about me. Like here, I don't mean anything and it's just-" she boke down, covering up her face again. "It's harder than I thought."

I pulled down from the road, parking at the gas station to just get her to calm down. "Tahnée, look at me." I said as she wiped her tears away. "You are more than what you think you are now. So what if that guy is cheating, yes it hurts but he will be sorry for what he throws away. It doesn't define you, and here, you matter. We all, me, Brian and Matt, we like you like a lot a lot. You're one of us now so don't you dare say that you are nothing."

A small smile curved up on her lips as she wiped her last few tears away. "It shouldn't bother you, and whenever it does, you can talk to us, or me." She quickly leaned forward, pecking my cheek and saying a weak 'thank you'.
I smiled over to her one more time before taking the road back to my place.

-

//tahnée//

It feels good to talk to someone. I didn't think I'll open up that much to him, I only do that to Micheal. But he's being distant too.
Where he used to call me almost twenty times a day, leaving fifteen voicemails, I now have to call him, and if he doesn't pick up, he doesn't even bother to call back.

Everything back home just feels like a mess. Mum and dad are busy, Daniel is probably cheating and Micheal... I don't know what to even say about him.
He's just... distant.

But when I talked to Shawn I felt a weight being lifted off my shoulders and heart. I felt relieved of a bit of stress and that I now can do somethig again, smile a bigger smile and not have to put up a front anymore.
Now, I am okay.

It's good to talk about things to someone from time to time, even if they don't have any answers to give you or even know how to respond to what you said, as long as I know they're listening and actually paying attention or even caring that much to let me talk to them... I feel good, I feel better.

I hope I don't arrive at the party with blooshot eyes and a pink, runny nose. Hopefully the few minutes to go will be long enough for it to go away.

-

//brian//

Shawn went to go pick up Tahnée, and I'm here welcoming guests and friends to the house. It's not even my house, nor my party, but I feel like I'm doing a good job with handling things like the bouncer at the door.

It wasn't long after almost everyone arrived when I saw his car coming up the driveway of the apartment building. He disappeared in to the parking lot and I made my way down the stairs of the building to go get them.

As I walked out the door of the underground parking I saw him holding the door open for her and she got out.

I see, she took my advice.
She went with the burgundy.

As he closed the door for her she pulled him in to a hug, holding on for a few long seconds. "Thank you." She said softly, but I could hear it as a small echo in the parking lot.

What's going on?
Is she thanking him for he ride?
What happened in the ride?
What did they talk about?

God Brian, get a grip. Why are you so uptight about it all?

"Hey." I smiled as they walked my way, her smile grew a bit as she saw me, making my heart leap in my chest, beating faster with every step she draws closer to me.
Her last four steps, she leaped and pulled me in to a hug.

I have to say I was caught of guard with her actions, but it felt good.

I hugged her back, smiling as I laced my arms around her. "Thank you for the help." She said as she pulled away, doing a little twirl with a small smirk on her lips as she showed me her outfit. "Burgundy." I smiled, "And just as I thought, you compliment it perfectly." Her cheeks blushed red as her hand was still clutched in mine.
"You look beautiful." I said, hesitating a bit but I had to say it.

"Thank you." She said, looking down at our hands and quickly pulled away. "Sorry." She whispered, but I wasn't complaining about it at all.

"Wait..." Shawn interrupted with a loud laugh, "Brian gave you fashion advice?" He started laughing hysterically. Tahnée and I just looked at each other with a small smile, shaking our heads at his ridiculousness.

"Let just go inside." She said as he continued to find the situation hilarious.