Loving Brian | B.C

Part 45: jealousy

//brian//

Traffic was a bit of hell, but we're just a few streets away from the University. I already felt my phone vibrating in my pocket and I knew it can only be Shawn sending me a message. Probably just checking in or asking how she looks.
My wingman. He's just not beside me tonight.

"Soo..." I looked over to her. "The pine tree?" I smiled, seeing her smile also growing as I mentioned it. "I'm glad you eventually asked."
She chuckled, sitting up straight in her seat before turning slightly to me.

"I remeber you telling me your love for the lake and the woods. Obviously they have pine trees. And pine trees are really big trees, and with that I want to symbolize that you need to stand tall for who you are because you're an amazing human and you shouldn't be afraid to love just because of some people who might disagree with what you're doing or how you're doing it. Do what makes you happy Brian, because at the end of the day it's your life and you need to enjoy it and make the best of evey moment. Nobody can take happiness from you."

I'm amazed. She thought about me, and all that, when she bought me a pine tree keychain.
I parked near the Hall of the University and looked over to her. "And also because I don't get to see you a lot because of studies, when you look at it you know I'm not far." She smiled, turning and getting out of the car.

I don't have words to respond to what she just said, I don't even know how to say a simple thank you for the keychain. I got out of the car and smiled at her as she stood on the ledge of the sidewalk, waiting for me.
"You're amazing Tahnée." She shrugged her shoulders with a small smirk on her lips. "Eh, I try." She laughed, holding her hand out to me.

I took her hand in mine and felt her intertwining out fingers. This can't be normal, but you know what, I'm not complaining.

We walked in to the Hall of the University and the place was incredibly decorated. The most poshest event I ever attended. "Oh wow." She said amazed, looking around the room with bige yes, sparkling in the few lights handing from the roof and the big disco ball creating an aurora of colours in the room.
My eyes only on her.
"It's very fancy, I must say. I didn't think it'll be this posh." She chuckled, standing closer so that I can hear her over the music.

"Summers, Tahnée Summers." She said to the girl who asked for her name, probably wanting to escort us to our table. "Your date?" "Brian Craigen." She said and almost held my hand a bit tighter. Instinct or?
We walked with the girl over to our table and got seated, immediately joining in on a conversation with each other and talking on and on till the speech started and the person only thanked everyone for coming.

I didn't hear a single word of the speech, my body may be present but my mind was on some other planet. "Why are you looking at me like that?" She whispered as she leaned closer. I didn't even know I was looking at her until she addressed the issue. Her hand on my knee as she leaned closer to me, whispering. "Sorry." I said with big eyes, turning back toward athe stage and looking at the founder of the College finishing up on his speech.

She however kept her hand on my knee as she sat closer to me. She started talking to a girl beside her and I took her hand in mine. She immediately looked over to me, smiling and the  turning back to her conversation with the girl.

She's comfortable with this, or she just doesn't want to show how uncomfortable she actually is. Why am I still, after all this time of knowing her, doubting myself and her in situations like this?

-

//tahnée//

Trying so hard to contain the yell deep inside of me and the sound of my heart pounding in my chest makes me out of breath.
Oh Brian. My heart can't contain you. You are too good for me, yet you stick around. Through all my shit and everything, never leaving. Always calling, always finding out how things are going and how I'm, honestly, doing.

What I did to deserve this, to deserve you... will always be my mystery.

I was talking to Lylian when Brian took my hand in his, playing with my fingers. I don't know why he did it but just his touch of love and affection makes me happy. But is it an affection of love or does he just like me as a friend.
Another unknown and unsolvable mystery. Maybe?

"He's a beautiful guy, Tahnée. What's his name?" I looked at her, feeling a bit of anger inside of my to not tell her. But Brian isn't mine, why am I feeing this big block inside of me that I want to keep him locked in me. With me.
"Uhm..." I quickly peeked over my shoulder to see Brian, for the speeches are still going on. "His name is Brian." I finally croaked out, seeing her eyes lighting up just as mine did when I first saw him.

She talked to me about how throughout the night she wants to get to know him, ask him for a dance and what not.
I hate this feeling inside of me. Can she not see that I'm holding his hand? He's mine!

Wait. Calm down Tahnée.
I took a deep breath and just smiled.
Am I really jealous of her right now? Jealous that she's taking Brian?
Can't be.

-

After the speeches were done I turned back to Brian and we scooted in under the table. We got wine and some small snack to nibble on for in the meantime. He told me stories about what I missed out on in the time we didn't get to see each other. I laughed at all the crazy shit he did and then he told me about his mother and the trip they went on.

I looked over my shoulder to see if Lylian is busy with anything ofher than focusing on Brian and me. I turned back to him, scooting a bit closer and running my finger around the rim of the glass of wine. "So uhm..." I said softly, seeing his eyes immediately festing on mine. "Lylian over here," I dodged my head to the side so that he can see the blond girl with light blue eyes. I'm not gonna lie, she is a beautiful girl, and Brian might just see that too. "She said that you're one good looking guy and that she wants to get to know you throughout the night."

His eyes grew big as a small frown awoke on his lips. "Do I have to?" "Why wouldn't you?" He shrugged his shoulders, "She's beautiful Brian. Just promise her one dance?" I said more like a question. Internally kicking myself and cursing myself for ever say it but he sort of came back in a defensive way. "And what if I so happen to rather dance with you on a particular song than with her?"

I smiled as he now too leaned closer to me as well, looking at me with his one eyebrow raised up. "Then you just..." I stuttered for words and rather kept my mouth shut, making it look like I'm thinking but I just got tempted to lose myself in his eyes. And I did.
"Then you dance towards me where I'll be dancing like a freak alone, around you, and then so purposely, but make it look like it was an accident, bump in to me and make up a question of what you need or anything to escape."

"Okay, but we need a code word."
"For feeling uncomfortable?"
He nodded, "I know you'll scream when you feel pressured in to something or when you're uncomfortable. But here we cannot really scream, someone will think something is terribly wrong."
"True. So... what about...." I thought for a while, "Tamping?"
"Seriously? Tamping? Like when you prepare for an explosion?"
"That's what it means?" He laughed at me, straight from the stomach. He totally got that as a knee-slapper. "Then yes! It's the perfect word because you're saying that whilst you feel so uncomfortable you can explode!"
"Okay, we'll take that as our code word for formal events." He still laughed at me, and later on I just joined in.

I like this guy.