Loving Brian | B.C

Part 111: all my love

//brian//

19 days and 8 hours.

It's been too long and Tahnée is in some sort of coma. I haven't seen her in two days. I don't have the courage of going to her when I'm not strong.

I need to be strong for her, she wants me to be strong... but I'm not even strong enough for myself right now. I tried sleeping in my bed the past few days, but I didn't manage. I kept on missing her body next to mine and whenever I reach my hand out, not feeling her there... I'm sad all over again.
So I'm on the couch.

"Hello?"
"Dude you need to come! Now!" Shawn yelled over the phone just after I picked it up. "Whoa what you do you mean?" "Just come to the hospital." He hung up.
I stared at my phone for a few seconds before jumping up from the couch and rushing out to get to my car.

All the way to the hospital I kept on praying in my head that it should be something good. I don't want to arrive there and not see her, or be there and need to say goodbye... for a final time.
Please don't take my darling away from me.

I ran in to the hospital, taking the stairs up to her floor. "Sir! Sir I'm sorry but you have to sign in."
"Brian Craigen. Tahnée Summers." I yelled as I ran past the receptionist, straight in to Tahnée's room. "Shawn?" I called out of breath, seeing him standing with her doctor by the window. The both turned around and smiled at me, like everything is fine. "What?" I asked. "Brian," the doctor smiled, "I have some good news." She said.
My heart stopped beating and I looked over to Tahnée.

I noticed she's off the tube. She's breathing for herself, on her own. "Is she—" "Not yet. But doctor McCartney has great news." Shawn said, almost jumping up and down as he walked closer to me. "Please, let's step outside." She gestured and we all made our way out.
"She was extremely weak, but yesterday her vitals went up and when we did the sonar her wound was complete healed inside. I know this might now sound like a bit of a risky thing but we already injected her with a small ounce of medical marijuana. It's working, Brian. She's waking up, and she's growing stronger."

The rest she said all fell on to deaf ears. I looked in to the room to see Tahnée there, looking better than before. She's not going anywhere.
She's still here, awaking from whatever she went in to. But she sure as hell had me on a rollercoaster.

"Brian? Brian!" I snapped back to reality and looked at Shawn and Doctor McCartney, waiting on a reply or something from me. "That seems good?" I said a bit unsure because I didn't follow the conversation. "Yes, but do you want to?"
"Want to what?"
"Know what the gender was?" Shawn said with a sad look in his eyes.

Wait what!

"I'm sorry what?"
"Didn't you listen to anything she said?" Shawn asked surprised, rolling his eyes. "I'm sorry after you said she'll be fine and wake up I kinda shut out what you said." I looked at her with big eyes as she exchanged a look with Shawn. "Brian, Tahnée was pregnant, but after the shot it made an impact on the growing fetus. She was three weeks pregnant but I'm sorry, you guys lost the baby." She looked at me with sad eyes. "She's still perfectly fine though, still capable of getting pregnant but around the late few months it might get difficult to carry the baby for her bu—"

"Why do you only tell me this now?" I asked a bit hurt. "She's been here for so long and you mean to tell me that you just found out about her being pregnant? You could've done something to help— to save the baby!"
I felt all the emotions washing over me. It may be sadness from everything that happened, fear that something might go wrong again, happiness that she's finally okay and waking up... and then also, heartbreak over losing my baby. Our baby.

"I'm sorry Brian, we just got the blood tests back from the lab because we had to check on more than just infections and that's how they found out. By the time we knew it was far to late."
"It's not even a full grown baby yet Brian, she was three weeks"
"I don't care Shawn! That's our baby." I tried to hold it all together. "Dude you're just overwhelmed, it's a lot to take right now." He placed his hand down on my shoulder as a tear drew from my eyes. "I-I'm sorry." I croaked out, looking back at Tahnée.

Doctor McCartney excused herself and left Shawn and I alone for a moment. "Is she really waking up?" I aksed and he nodded witha big smile on his face. "She's waking up man." I pulled him in to a tight hug as we laughed, and me also crying with joy.

-

I held Tahnée's hand, sitting beside her bed. It's good to see her well again. Her skin had a new colour and her cheeks were finally red again. Her lips got its well known pink back and her skin was warm again.
She's finally on the right road of healing. I just hope there aren't any side effects from being away this long.
Hopefully she still remembers me, what we are and what we have.

"Brian." I heard Shawn's voice after a while. I looked up to him, seeing him standing in the corner, looking down at his hands. I saw a white envelope. "I uhm— I know this probably shouldn't be given to you but considering she'll be okay but, when Tahnée stayed over at mine during the time being... she wrote you a letter." I saw the redness in his eyes and I knew he was hiding away some tears.
"She left me with the order to give it to you if something may happen to her." He walked over to me, wiping his eyes before handing me the white folded envelope. He patted my shoulder and left the room.

"Why do I already have the feeling that this will bring me to tears?" I said as I looked up to her. I slowly ripped the envelope open and removed the pink coloured paper from inside. So Tahnée.
I opened it up with a heavy heart. I know this was probably written with the thought of a death letter, or a goodbye.

"Hey Craigen"

I smiled immediately, feeling the tears in my eyes just by reading the way she greeted. I even heard her voice saying it in my head.

"Like most girls I had grown up listening to tales of everlasting love and togetherness, but somehow love had eluded me all my life and had brought with it much miseries and unhappiness."

My smile faded as I read in to the next paragraph, feeling the tears pooling up in my eyes.

"Having found you now I know why all those heartbreaks came to me, for they did lead me to you, and now I am grateful to have met you and found you."

The tears started falling, but I wipe them away before they drip down my jaw.

"Every night when I go to sleep, I stay up for some time, listening to the beating of your heart. It is a sound that comforts me and makes me feel safe, at home again. Like you always say."

I chuckled. Knowing how she'll probably wink at the end of that sentence.

"Everyone has their own set of hell to live through, being with you has given me the strength to be able to face all troubles and make it through it all. That's why I had to go. I need to face this alone.
But I want to thank you, my love, for being my strength, making me feel loved and ensuring that all my wishes do come true. The best thing about my life right now is you."

By now I was crying with a smile. Teardrops were dripping down on to the letter she written me, making the pink paper look even darker.

"I love you more than anything and anyone in this whole wide world, Craigen. And I know, now that I have you, there is no way in hell that I'm ever letting you go.

All my love,
Tahnée xx"

I closed the letter, slipping it back in to the envelope before reaching for her hand. "You probably never had someone crying this much over you, now did you?" I chuckled, kissing her hand. "I may not be any price charming, Tahnée, and I may cry a lot but... I love you. You're the best part of me." I brushed my fingers through her hair. "I love you." I whispered softly before leaning down and pressing my lips to hers.

-

//a/n//

Happy lana?