Loving Brian | B.C

Part 27: breathe

//brian//

"Shawn," I said softly as we drove away from Tahnée's apartment building. He looked over to me with a small smile, locking his eyes back on the road immediately after. "You don't perhaps think that, I don't know, maybe I stand a small chance of winning her over do you?"
"As what? A friend or girlfriend?"
"Either one..." I scratched the back of my neck as I deeply refused to make eye contact.

"That depends on how open she is mate. Just take it slow, don't force her or make her feel that you're pushing her in a certain direction. Let she make the decision on her own. That's the best decision then." I nodded slowly, taking in all the information that he's giving me.
I don't want to make her feel forced in to something, but I want her to be my friend. Even if that's all she is.

-

We arrived back at his place and started decorating for the party. My mind obviously occupied by trying to get the streamers exactly aligned, but Shawn keeps on blabbering about Tahnée. "Did she mention anything about a boyfriend? Do you think she's dating her best friend?" I closed my eyes, letting out a deep sigh.

"No. She didn't mention anything, and I think if she wants to, she would."
"Make a move man."
"No."
Bluntly I cut him off, and he kept quiet after that.

Good.

*ping*

I pulled my phone out of my back pocket, taking a peek at who messaged me.

Tahnée: since you're the only best friend I have here in the town I need help...

I smiled at the notification, sliding it open, ready to reply.

Me: I'm flattered. How can I help?

Tahnée: I'm struggling with an outfit for tonight...

Me: I'm not really the best fashionista to ask advice from, but i can do my best.

Tahnée: pink or blue?
Tahnée: no wait, yellow or burgundy?

I chuckled at her messages popping up on my phone, taking a seat as I decided. She has a light shade skin, almost pale. Her hair dark, like charcoal. A beautiful contrast between the two.

Me: yellow might be too shocking for your skin tone, so maybe go for the burgundy because it'll compliment your hair and skin tone.

I sent the message, reading it through again and my eyes grew big. I'm such a creep.
I never even thought I had that conversation in me, let alone guve that advice to the most beautiful of them all.
Ugh.

Tahnée: wow, okay. and you claim you're not a big fashionista?

Me: don't make me blush.

Tahnée: haha. trying my best. Thanks Brian, I owe you another one.

Me: woah, two dates with you already! I must be famous.

Tahnée: maybe. or i just really like hanging out with an extremely underrated person.

Me: aww Tahnée.

Tahnée: don't make me blush...

I laughed a small laugh, seeing Shawn looking over to me with a deep spark in his eye as my cheeks burnt rose red. She's one amazing human being.
Impeccable.

I wish I can tell her that I have this deep, loving and caring affection for her. That she has a hold of my heart and I don't want her to let go. If only she can know that she's permanently on my mind and I think of her, I see her, in almost everything I do throughout my day.
If only it was so easy to say, not having to risk a fall but just to rise

If only.

-

//tahnée//

Oh, Brian. A sweetheart he is.

The small bond we created in just this small period of time is incredible, I know I can count on him when I really do need to.
The things he still does for me after not even knowing me that good. He still cares. He still wants to fighure out the deep parts of me.

The parts I hide.
The parts I don't necessarily want to talk about.

He doesn't care about me not talking, he makes me happy and makes me laugh in the small moments that he is entirely himsef. Where he doesn't drown in his thougts or when he's doubting himself.

His smile is real when he's high up and away from reality. When he talks about things he loves or tells me stories about his past.
When he asks me about me, he keeps interest in me. He takes in almost every bit of information that I give him.

I love it when people make time out of their daily routine to get to know me. I fall in love with their enthusiasm towards life and wanting to know all the beauty that hides inside it.
I fall in love with the smile they have when they see me, and they way their eyes light up.

Brian. I see that in him.
Do I really have that effect of him, does he already care that much? Am I already his friend?

Another person like him may just be hard to find. Not that Brian will ever fill the place Micheal has in my heart... oh no, he claims his own little spot.
Making me smile every time he crosses my mind. Making me happy whenever I see a glimpse of him from outside the flower shop window.

He, in general, makes me happy.

The 'goodnight' and 'good morning' texts that makes a day start off with a smile and that can change a bad day to one incredible night after we haven't even spoken a word to each other throughout the day, nor saw each other.

I have to say, from being so afraid and unsure about this party, I'm excited to go now.
To see Brian.

-

Just a few minutes before Shawn should arrive to pick me up I quickly gave Micheal a call.
Ringing and ringing, I doubted that he'll pick up.

"Oh my god! Hello stranger! I miss you like hell!" He yelled through the phone, my heart dropping to my shoes as I heard his voice. Missing his hungs and late night conversations.

I miss him.

"Please come visit me! I need my best friend here." I heard him laughing from the other side. "Your boy is taking up a job for his aeroplane ticket, calm your tits babe. I'm on my way." He always talks in that way, int hat tune, when I get impatient about something.

Typical Micheal.
Sassy but classy.

"What are you up to?"
"Awaiting my personal uber, aka Shawn Mendes, to pick me up and take me to his party."
"Oh my god Tahnée, I'll die if I were you! Please tell him a happy birthday from me."
"I will. And blieve me Micheal, I'm so struggling to hold in a small fangirl scream every time I see him." I laughed, hearing his chuckling from the other side of the phone, the other side of the world, filling my ears.

"I miss you."
"I miss you too Tahnée. I promise you I'm not leaving you or ever forgetting you. I'll see you as soon as I get the chance to come to you."
"I understand Micheal. Send my love to the family." He sent some kisses through the phone before hanging up the with a sweet goodbye and that I should send him pictures about the party.

I only waited for about five to ten minutes when the buzzing sound once again came from the front door and I jumped up, grabbing my handbag and opening the door to come face to face with Shawn.

"Hey."
"Wow. You look beautiful Tahnée."
"Not to bad yourself Mendes." He smiled, making way for me to step out as I locked up and we walked down.

"Thanks." I said as he held the door open for me. I don't know how long this car ride will be to his house, but might as well make the best of it. Get to know him a bit too or let him give me a background about the party and the people that'll be there.

Nerves are now awakened in my tummy.
Just when I had a confidence that was unbreakable, now I feel insecure again.

Breathe Tahnée. It's just a party, although you're not a party animal. This will be okay.
Breathe.