Loving Brian | B.C

Part 41: if i can just...

//tahnée//

"What are you guys doing out in the cold?" Just by hearing my voice, sounding like a frog, Brian's facial expression turned from happiness to a deep concerning expression. "Never mind us, why the hell are you out in the cold when you're sick and sound as horrible as that?" He took my hand in his and walked me over to his car standing just up in the street.

"I had to get out for some medication."
"I could've gotten it for you if you just gave me a call."
"But I don't want to bother you."
"You never do Tahnée."

God. I don't deserve this.

"And what's the story behind the flowers?"
"I got it for my single self." I smiled, seeing his eyes growing in surprise, but it's not entirely what it sounds like. He held the door open for me and I got in, seeing him running around the front of the car to the driver side.

I told him the story about Micheal, when he called me and also told me that he broke Daniel's jaw.

"I really like this Micheal friend of you. He won my respect even though I haven't met him yet." He laughed, making me smile. "When you guys meet, you'll love him. I promise you."
"You really want me to meet him, or him to meet me?"
"Of course Brian. He's definitely not dodging the moment of him meeting my best friend." His cheeks coloured red and his lips curved up in to a smile.

Magnificent.

"Okay but back to the story. The fact that I said I bought it for my single self is because turns out, Daniel is not only screwing around with Hannah From Graduation, but also Bathany From Nextdoor." I laughed, although it pained my heart to have the words leave my lips.

"I'm sorry." His quiet words filled the sternest atmosphere around us. We still haven't mooved, we're still in the car, sitting on the side of the road.
"So you broke up with him?" I shook my head. "No. But I'm through with him. If he calls me back one day I'll tell him, maybe make up some story of how I kissed a guy at a party and took him home."

He wasn't finding it funny.
Not at all.

"Tahnée, this guy is a fuckup, only messing with you. You need to end this as soon as possible, because I know," he placed his hand over mine, locking his eyes on me. "I know that no matter how many times you say that it doesn't bother you, it does. Because you still think about it. You still feel the pain he caused inside of you. And some part of you, some big part of you still wants to fight and hold on to what you had with him. But it's just pulling you down."

I hve no words to reply on what he just said. No words can fill my mind after he planted these in.
I looked at him.

Seeing his lips.
Pink and plump, slightly parted and the gloss of wetness from him liking his lips, visible on his bottom lip.

His eyes.
Getting lost in the trance they have on me and the effect he has on me.
His hair falling into a perfect wave as the small strands growing to long, hangs over his ears.

If I can just...

"Brian..." but I cut myself off. "Never mind." I whispered.

"What do you want to do?" He asked, getting ready to start the car. "Uhm.. actually. I-" I sighed. "I should go." I said. "W-Why? Do you have somewhere to be or?"
"No. Not really. I just, need some time to clearn my mind and think."
I gathered my things, sniffed the snottiness away and clicked the car door open. "I think I just need some time alone."

"Okay." He said calm and understanding. "Just promise me that you'll give me a call whenever you need something. Oaky?"
"I promise." I said, smiling softly over to him.

Before leaving I quickly leaned over and pecked his cheek. "Thank you Brian. For everything." I got out, walking back to my apartment. I saw Brian almost following me with his car, all the way to my building.

"You know, I am okay!"
I yelled back to him just as I reached the front door of the building.

The empty strais are visible through the glass door. The stairs that leads up to my apartment. Emtpy and alone.
Should I?
No.

"Just making sure. Sorry!" He yelled back through the open window on the passenger side. He waved before driving off.

I sighed, the smile turning to a frown and I missed him already. I should've stayed with him, but I need to clear my mind. Besides, I don't want to make him sick as well.
"Bye." I said softly, watching his car disappearing in to the distance.