Forgotten Conscience (girlxgirl) (Book 1)

Mixed Signals of the Confusing Kind

Faith's POV

So what do I do now? I mean, I thought there was something between us but after the way she went nuts on me back at that Initiative place... I'm just not sure.

I look over at her, walking a few steps ahead of me to that Giles guy's house.

She kept telling me how much she wanted to help me and then she went psycho on me. I know most couples get into fights and all but I'm pretty sure normal people don't resort to hand to hand to resolve their differences.

I rub my jaw.

It's still a little sore.

Buffy said we used to kick each other's asses all the time, that kinda lends weight to the idea that we were never involved... but then there was that moment. Right after I got the best of her, I don't know where the hell that came from, but then... it was almost like that time when she woke me from that dream thing I had. It was like there was some kind of connection between us.

We turn a corner and continue walking.

But what kind of connection is it? It's not like I can draw on old relationships to figure it out or current relationships as the case may be. Oh god, what if I'm already in a relationship? What if I was involved with Buffy and then left her for some guy who turned out to be evil? That would explain why all her friends hate me, and the weird connection between us.

What am I doing? I have no proof of anything... but what if I'm right? What do I do? Should I ask her about it? What if nothing I'm thinking is true? What if it's all just in my screwed up, lack of a past head? Maybe Buffy was just shocked that I got the best of her. Yeah, it was all just the surprise. But then what was with the whole feeling thing? I should ask her.

"Buffy?"

She stops and turns to me.

"Yeah?"

This is a bad idea.

"Um..."

This is a very bad idea. I'm not sure what to say.

"Is everything okay?"

'I... well... I-I just, I wanted to thank you for what... for what you did back there."

"You mean getting you out of The Initiative alive? I told you, they were gonna lock you in some room and do experiments on you. I couldn't let them do that to you it just... it wouldn't be right."

"No I... that's not what I... well yes, thank you but, well... what I meant was what you did for me. You really helped me."

She takes a few steps, trying to go back to our path.

"Don't mention it."

"No..."

She stops again.

"Really, I was ready to give up. I was about ready to shoot myself with one of those army boys' guns, but you stopped me."

"I couldn't let you kill yourself."

I should do something, give her something.

"But really I mean, I wanna thank you some how. I feel like I should do something or say something to pay you back for everything you've done for me."

"It's okay Faith."

I move toward her.

"But you... I mean... you gave me a reason to go on living..."

She puts one hand on my shoulder and the other on my cheek. I tilt my head into her touch.

It's warm and inviting.

She pulls her hand on my cheek away suddenly.

"Yes and that's the kind of thing you can't pay back, and I don't expect you to."

"Well I... I have to do something."

She's got this look in her eyes like... like she wants to say something but she's trying not to.

She takes her hand off my shoulder and steps back, shifting uncomfortably.

"Okay look, if you really want to pay me back you can stay alive long enough to help me kill Adam and stop this prophecy thing..."

Prophecy thing?

"What prophecy thing?"

"There's a prophecy."

"Yeah, I got that. What kind of prophecy?"

"Well, we're not sure yet but we're working on it. You know those vampires who attacked us?"

"The ones who made me go all Lizzie Borden on you? Yeah I think I remember them."

"They said something kinda weird..."

"Right... something about, one into two, two into three or something..."

"Two into one..."

"Right..."

"Well we think it's some sort of prophecy of some kind."

"Why's that?"

"Well they seemed to wanna stop whatever it is, plus it doesn't really sound like a battle cry."

"Okay so do we know why they're trying to kill you?"

"US Faith, they're trying to kill US. And no, we don't know but we're working on it... we work on a lot of things."

"I'm getting that."

"That's why we're going to see Giles. He's good with research and prophecies and stuff. He figured out the prophecy about the time I died. Now come on, his place is around the corner."

Um... she died?

"Whoa, wait... you died?"

"Yeah but I'm okay, I was only dead for a few minutes."

"Yeah but, you were dead."

"Yeah, how do you think you became a slayer in the first place? The only way a new slayer is called is when the old slayer dies. How else did you think it happened?"

Well I dunno.

"I-I guess I thought maybe I was the slayer first and then I died or something."

"Nope, it was the other way around. I died, you became a slayer. It's pretty simple concept really. Come on now we should get to Giles'."

"Okay."

I follow her around the corner and up the few feet to Mr. Giles' house.

Is that why she feels so responsible? Because what's happening to me is her fault in more ways than one? If it hadn't been for her I wouldn't be in this situation. If it hadn't been for her I wouldn't have become a slayer.

We climb the stairs and I look over at her.

God, what a burden for her to carry, not only does she have to worry about saving the world but she has to deal with the idea that every bad thing that I do is her fault. What if that's all I've been feeling? Maybe that's all and I'm just being paranoid...

We reach the front door and Buffy opens the door. As we walk in, everyone turns around and looks at us.

Wow, did the temperature just drop in here?