Forgotten Conscience (girlxgirl) (Book 1)

Heroism Is Only Cool If It Gets You Chicks

Faith's POV

God damn it...

I'm standing in front of B in a fighting stance. This whole dream thing is getting kinda pointless. She throws those same three punches again and I dodge them quickly, although at this point I could probably dodge them blindfolded I know them so well. I duck down and kick her legs out from under her, knocking her flat on her back as usual.

I scramble on top of her and pin her arms above her head. After a second to get over the shock she smiles at me. I feel myself smile back at her.

Why is it we're never afraid of each other in these dreams? You'd think I'd wanna see the look of fear on her face as I do what I'm about to do.

And then, the dream changes. I lean in and plant a mad passionate kiss on her lips and as soon as I do this dream kicks into full motion, virtual reality mode. I feel like I can taste her lips on mine as she kisses me back, and I could swear I can smell the scent of her perfume. It's intoxicating.

We start to roll around on the floor, groping each other in every place either of us can grab. I finally manage to get myself back on top cause you know, that's where I like to be in this kinda sitch, and I grind my hips into hers just to tease her that little bit. She puts her hands on my thighs and starts to rub her thumbs along the insides. I could swear I felt myself shudder. I reach down to the hem of her shirt, pushing it up exposing her taut rippling stomach. I move my hands just above her stomach to take in the full view of her beauty.

And just when I thought I was gonna dive back in my hands move up to either side of her neck. I lean down and kiss her, my hands moving to her shoulders as I do. My tongue in her mouth and hers in mine, I slide my hands up her shoulders and around her neck. I glide my thumbs down her neck to the soft spot just above her neck bone and start to press down. I start to put my weight on her neck. I pull my lips away from hers as she stops kissing me back. She coughs more and more as she gasps for air but the happy look on her face never fades. All of the sudden my voice kicks in.

"I'm sorry I-I can't do it, I won't do it. I can't let it happen, I won't let it happen."

She keeps gasping for air as her airway gets smaller the more weight I put on it. Weakly, she grabs at my hands to stop me as she tries to speak.

"F-F-Faith..."

"I'm sorry I... can't."

She falls limp on the floor.

I open my eyes.

What the hell?

I'm lying on Buffy's floor in a semi-fetal position, holding my pillow the same way I was strangling Buffy in my dream.

What the hell am I doing?

My hands start shaking and I let go of the pillow.

Damn it, these dreams are really starting to bug me. What the hell are they trying to tell me anyway? I already know I got a thing for Buffy, and I already know I've been trying to kill her, so these dreams aren't really telling me anything new. She was a pretty good kisser though, I wonder if she's as good at making out for real as she was in my dream. If I keep having dreams like this I won't really have to find out will I? God it was so real. What the hell are these dreams trying to say by being so real?

I move to lay on my back and stare at the ceiling.

Am I meant to be with Buffy or am I meant to kill her? Honestly I think it could go either way. Maybe that's what my dreams are trying to say. Maybe it's saying that it could go either way and I'm supposed to make some kind of choice. How the hell am I supposed to make that kind of choice? Okay so all of the sudden I think she's hot, it doesn't mean I can just forget how much of a major league bitch she was to me before. Then again, Buffy sounds like she's forgiven me for all the people I murdered. Maybe I can forgive her for being such a high and mighty bitch and for looking down on me for so long.