Forgotten Conscience (girlxgirl) (Book 1)

Paranoia Rears Its Ugly Head

Buffy's POV

We're together, that's all that matters.

We walk down the street to Giles' place, hand in hand.

What happened last night isn't important, what's important is that we ended up together. I'm not trying to act like last night didn't happen, it did. What she did hurt me in more ways than one. But when she told me she wanted us to be together, everything she said and did became... unimportant. All that matters is we ended up together at the end of the night. That's what matters.

She pulls my hand to her lips and kisses my knuckles. I squeeze her hand a little as she does.

You know Faith never really struck me as the kind of person who holds hands, but here we are. She's probably just doing it cause she knows it's what I'd like. Faith does know me really well, more than anyone else anyway. Oh god, what if everything she said this morning was because she knew it's what I wanted to hear? I mean she said it herself last night. She's not the kind of person who falls in love. Why would she say that and then decide the next day that she wants to give us a try? It doesn't make any sense.

What if that's the point? There's no telling what might have gone through her head since she got her memory back. This might just be part of some elaborate plot to screw with my head. She does know how to push my buttons. For all I know this could all be part of the vampire cult's plan. Maybe the mayor introduced her to them while he was still around and they put this all in motion. But then, they couldn't have predicted my putting her in a coma... that would've screwed up their whole plan.

I look over at her and I feel horrible.

What the hell am I doing? I'm being paranoid is what I'm doing. What I feel for Faith is real, I know it is. I remember what it was like when Xander cast that spell on the women of Sunnydale. It was empty, like being in a dream. What I feel for Faith is so much more real, and it's more powerful than anything a spell could do. I just hope to hell that she feels the same way. I have to believe she feels at least something. She felt something when she had amnesia, she said so, and even with her memory back, feelings like this just don't disappear. She's just confused, like she said. The important thing is that we ended up together, that's she's willing to give us a chance.

She stops suddenly in the middle of the street.

"So, are you ready?"

Ready... ready for what?

"For what?"

"To go to the meeting..."

She points to the stairs leading up to Giles' place.

I didn't realize we were here.

"Yeah, let's go."

I start to go up the stairs but she grips my hand and stops me.

"Wait..."

Before I can react she pulls me to her and kisses me. I take her in my arms and kiss her back as her tongue slips into my mouth. Her hand grabs the back of my neck, pushing our bodies together even harder.

God damn... I don't know how I even doubted how she felt. The way she kisses me says it all. It's deep and passionate and filled with desire.

We finally break our kiss and look into each other's eyes.

"Sorry about the surprise, I had to get my Buffy fix before we went in there."

She grins at me.

"I've had worse surprises."

"Plus now I got something to think about while you and the Scoobies talk about whatever."

I put my hand against her cheek and she nuzzles it a bit.

"Are you okay with this? Are you okay with us not telling the gang about... us?"

"Yeah, yeah sure... oops, I got a little lipstick on ya there B."

She uses her thumb to wipe off the smudged make up off my face.

"There, good as new."

I feel her hand slide between my legs and it makes me stand on my tip-toes.

"Look B, I'm okay with our not telling your friends about us. As long as you know that we're gonna have to tell them eventually."

"I know and we..."

My hips gyrate as her fingers move between my legs.

We gotta stop this before someone sees us.

I slap her hand away and smile.

"Stop it Faith, someone might see us."

"That was kinda the point B."

"We will tell them eventually... as soon as they start to accept you in their lives again, we'll tell them."

"Okay."

I put my hands on her cheeks and plant a quick kiss on her lips.

"Thank you, this means a lot to me."

"Then it must be the right thing."

We smile at each other for a few moments before I break the silence.

"So, are you ready to go in?"

"Sure, let's go."

We start up the stairs.