Forgotten Conscience (girlxgirl) (Book 1)

Doubt is a Mother F*@ker

Faith's POV

Well that's what I get.

I open my third beer in half an hour and take a swig.

That's what I get for trying to do the right thing.

I take another sip of my beer and go back to watching people dance on the dance floor.

I try and be the noble good girl, and everything falls apart on me. I should've learned by now that no good deed goes unpunished. No matter how good I try to be, it always ends badly. I thought things would be different with B. I thought maybe because I felt happy with Buffy that maybe things would be okay and we could get through this. I was wrong. She might make me incredibly happy when we're together but it isn't real... it WASN'T real.

I take a swig of beer to try and drown the feelings out.

But ever since I had that fight with Buffy I've felt this horrible pain inside me and I can't stop it. Usually when I feel this bad I just go out, get drunk, screw some random guy and I feel better with a major hangover in the morning. But it's not working, most of the time I feel at least a little better after a few drinks but this time it just feels worse.

I chug the rest of the beer down and drop the bottle down on the table.

God, it's not going away. Maybe if I stop thinking about it it'll go away. If I ignore it I'll feel better.

I look over the crowd to find something, someone to focus on. My distraction doesn't last long though as my eyes rest upon two particular dancers. There are two chicks, a blonde and a brunette to boot, dancing together without a care in the world.

That was supposed to be us. B and I are supposed to be out on that dance floor gyrating our hips to the music, grinding our bodies together, touching each other in all the right... inappropriate places. God what I wouldn't give to feel good like that again, even if it was fake.

God damn it I don't care anymore. I don't care if it was fake or if it's real or some freakish in between thing, I just wanna feel like I do with Buffy again. I wanna feel happy again. I don't wanna feel this pain anymore, and there's only one person who can help me.

I get up nearly tripping over my own feet as I do.

Buffy's POV

"What the hell does she...?"

I hit him with a round house kick to the head.

"WANT?"

"Who?"

I kick him in the side rather than answer his question.

"Everything was going so..."

The vamp tries to get up but I knock him on his back with a front kick to the face.

"... WELL. We were going to be to-together."

He starts to get up again and I grab him by the collar. I pick him up over my head.

"Tonight was even supposed to be our first date."

I throw him clear over a nearby tombstone sending him face first into the dirt.

"This was supposed to be the greatest night of our lives, and then she had to go and ruin it by pretending what we haven't isn't real."

The vamp struggles to get to his feet.

"SHE? Slayer, are you gay?"

I look over at him and my blood boils. I run at him as he gets to his feet. I stop in my tracks as he throws a punch that barely misses my face. I throw my own punch which sends him tumbling over another gravestone behind him.