THE TRANSFER STUDENT

Heartbreak

Lee Jieun.

The first name that came to Taehyung's mind when he saw Jennie with her boyfriend in the cafe.

Not Jeon Jungkook, not Choi Yoojung, not Parl Jimin, not even Kim Seokjin. It was Lee Jieun.

He had seen her address before. On a form that they had submitted in class. And he had remembered it, not knowing that a day like this would come when he needed it.

But today, he did.

He got onto the bus that took him from the cafe to Jieun's house. Bus 93. The bus Jieun always took from school when they separated. It hit him how much he knew about her.

He found a seat in the back of the bus, staring into the sky. The weather was good, unlike his mood. His mind wandered, and he thought of Jimin and Yoojung.

I hope they're getting along well.

Taehyung caught himself. Here he was going through yet another heartbreak with the same girl in the past more than one and a half years, and he was still thinking about someone else.

What others thought was a gift, was actually also a flaw. Taehyung had a great temper. He was fun-loving and extroverted, and got along with pretty much everyone in class. He hated showing his raw emotions to others. He had to be strong.

He was always excessively thoughtful about others. So thoughtful about others that sometimes he forgot how to consider himself. He recalled the time when Jimin had forgotten to bring a pencil for the exam. He had lent Jimin his pencil selflessly, totally forgetting that he only had one pencil. It was only during the exam when he realised that he was screwed.

But on hindsight, Taehyung knew that he would have done the same thing even if he knew he only had one pencil. Because he was selfless. He didn't even tell Jimin what happened. He didn't want him to feel bad.

Because of he always seemed to be happy, no one ever knew that he had his own problems too. He wasn't happy all the time, but he wanted to look happy, at least. He wanted to spread joy to others. And it did, most of the time. When Yoojung got mad, he always made fun of her, because after they quarrelled for a bit, Yoojung would eventually feel better, since all her anger would have been let out on him. No regrets.

The sun was already setting. Taehyung sat on the bus for hours, going around the area over and over again. He had probably passed by Jieun's house by now, but he didn't care. He didn't have the energy to care. He saw the same buildings over and over again, so the bus would eventually get somewhere.

Taehyung stared into the sunset with tears in his eyes.

He had spent his whole life thinking about others, always being considerate, that he had forgotten about himself. He had spent so much time trying to break down Jungkook's walls, getting to know Jieun, matchmaking Yoojung and Jimin, handling Seokjin's problems with Jisoo and Byulyi... that he had forgotten his own problems existed too. His own desires existed too.

He liked Jennie, but for the 8th time over the past one and a half years, she had gotten a boyfriend. People say 8 is a powerful number, and Taehyung felt the same. This heartbreak felt different from others. The last 7 heartbreaks, Taehyung had spent alone, crying under his sheets or like this, taking a loop bus round and round town.

But this time, Taehyung wanted it to be different. It was time to put some change in this cycle of heartbreak when she was attached and regaining hope when she was single again. She was never going to have feelings for him and he knew that, but never had the courage to admit it. It was time to... let go.

Taehyung willed his tears to fall, but somehow, they didn't. It was as if his tears were so used to being held back that he had lost his ability to cry.